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Help, I have Buzzword Hating Syndrome

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 8:40

Business-speak, managerspeak and general buzzwords make me stomach sick. They'll take the simplest things or most retarded ideas, come up with a business enterprise solution sounding word for it, and wank over them all the time, pretending they are great experts on technology or they've invented the intarweb.

Typical example: take jacking off. You've been doing it since 13. Yet managers will one day take it and say it's SPRX, "Synchronous Pleasure Relief and XML" (gotta toss XML in, it maximizes profits and converts visitors into customers). Then they'll call their friend managers and tell them "Have you read the news? It's all about SPRX! "My company will be doing SPRX from now on." "SPRX is the future." "Oh, is it not SPRX? Uh, no thanks".

I want to become a serial murderer. Help.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 9:02

That's because you're dealing with people who dont actually know anything about the business they're working with.

Yes, it sucks.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 9:28

SPRX is fully supported by AJAX and various other Web 2.0 technologies.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 9:28

JAAAAAVAAAAA

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 10:43

I hate the fact that there are a million acronyms that are just variations on a theme.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 17:09

Does anyone know any killer appz I should get for my compy?

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 22:03

You need a paradigm shift.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 22:10

You need to create a synergy between best-of-breed J2EE solutions with your operating system.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 22:25

Are these Enterprise level solutions?

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-19 22:32

Be sure to adopt industry standard best practices.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-20 7:23

>>10
What happens if I don't?

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-20 8:32

>>11
You will create a perfectly well working program that will be acclaimed by critics worldwide.

You don't want that, so use best practices.

Name: FBI 2006-04-20 16:12

Ajax, web 2.0, DHTML, DOM, Applet boot

:S

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-20 17:51

>>13
You mean Boot Camp.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-21 5:14

Man, DHTML is so Web 1.0, now DOM is all the rage, it's straight into Web 2.0!

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-21 5:39

Web 3.0
Git wit teh timez

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-24 21:15

>>7
This phrase actually used to be meaningful (coined by Thomas Kuhn) until the masses got a hold of it.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-25 4:18

TIME PARADIGM

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-26 10:01

>>1
I will fund your serial murdering if you only murder the buzzword spewers!

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-26 14:08

>>19
How much funding can you actually provide?

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-28 0:25

I call buzzword-using people "COCOMOHOMOs"

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-28 1:37

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-28 2:00

I am going to reinvent embedded widgets !!!

OH SHI-

That kind of makes sense !

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-28 2:18

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-28 2:33 (sage)

Reinvent AJAX-enabled rss-podcasts

Name: Anonymous 2010-09-21 13:20

Buzzwords are used by marketing to sell bullshit ideas and products.

Name: Anonymous 2010-09-21 15:07

>>26
You are bullshit ideas

Name: Anonymous 2010-09-21 17:23

Benchmarked against best-in-class peers, this thread shows significant upward quality-potential, moving forward.

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-25 19:10

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-20 3:48

Anon, tell me. What are your thoughts about how clickstream convergence impacts brandwidth exploitation? Give me your e-vision, not what you think the digerati want to hear. And don't just throw killer aps at me.

Don't change these.
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