Return Styles: Pseud0ch, Terminal, Valhalla, NES, Geocities, Blue Moon.

Pages: 1-

Managerspeak dictionary

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-12 12:20

When reading text written in managerspeak, I often find trouble trying to understand what it means in English. Let's post all we know and create a managerspeak dictionary. Please be serious and don't spam.

Enterprise = bloated and overengineered
Professional consultant => Dumbass
Certified professional => Well-paid dumbass
Performance regression => Slow as fuck
Best practice => I read it in an ad in a magazine or heard it from other managers, they said it's what I should do

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-12 22:26

Solution => shitty software written in VB

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-13 3:43

Integrated => big pile of crap.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-13 4:01

Shifting Paradigm => Fancier than "A new approach to this problem."
Synergy => Gibberish meant to confuse and distract.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-13 4:02

Scalable => WTFBBQ

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-13 4:52

>>4
Synergy => very nice monitor/keyboard/mouse sharing program

http://synergy2.sourceforge.net/

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-13 6:13

Challenge => OMG EVERYTHING BROKE!!!!!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-13 8:27

Promotion = Disproportionate increase in workload vs pay.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-13 14:53

Idiot => You because you aren't a manager instead you are whining.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-13 21:18

>>9
Manager => Idiot (obvious)

Idiot => You because you aren't a manager instead you are whining. (given)

Therefore,

Manager => You because you aren't a manager instead you are whining

But you aren't a manager.

Fail by contradiction.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-14 10:32

>>9 's implication is reveresed

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-14 19:27

I don't think those are implications.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-16 17:01

>>10
Fail
It's "Managerspeak" => "English". Of course idiot means something different in these domains.

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-17 16:10

>>13
Has a point.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-08 7:02

yo

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-13 19:27

Name: Anonymous 2011-02-03 7:18

Name: Anonymous 2011-04-05 22:56

>Hello
yo

Name: Anonymous 2011-04-05 22:56

>Hello

yo

Name: Anonymous 2011-04-05 22:57

Hello

yo

Name: Anonymous 2011-04-05 22:57

Hello

yo

Name: Anonymous 2011-12-13 15:09

<----dubs, check 'em

Don't change these.
Name: Email:
Entire Thread Thread List