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Managerspeak dictionary

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-12 12:20

When reading text written in managerspeak, I often find trouble trying to understand what it means in English. Let's post all we know and create a managerspeak dictionary. Please be serious and don't spam.

Enterprise = bloated and overengineered
Professional consultant => Dumbass
Certified professional => Well-paid dumbass
Performance regression => Slow as fuck
Best practice => I read it in an ad in a magazine or heard it from other managers, they said it's what I should do

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-13 4:01

Shifting Paradigm => Fancier than "A new approach to this problem."
Synergy => Gibberish meant to confuse and distract.

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