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Study: using all caps causes mild retardation

Name: Anonymous 2006-04-21 13:15

LONDON — A recently published study by Cambridge University has found that using all caps and text speak when writing can cause mild retardation. Researchers studied a group of 50 people belonging to the age bracket of ten to 68 for eleven months by dividing the group into two smaller groups: one that would use regular language when chatting through an instant messenger, and another that would use all caps and internet slang. According to Michael Henley, PhD, one of the psychologists who were responsible for the study, the results were staggering: "When we first saw the results we could not comprehend how it could be possible that using all caps and 'txt speak' could have so dire effects on the mental health of a person. It showed that using 'txt speak' decreases a person's ability to spell words correctly, which is bad for it slows down the progress of a child or especially a teen and in some cases could even cause mild retardation. This in itself is a very alarming find."

The new study also found that in some cases capital letters and text speak, especially the combination of the two, could cause mild retardation in adults, not just teens whose brains are still developing. "What was most surprising," continues Michael Henley, "is the fact that adults can also be affected. We do not know what the mechanism behind this retardation is, but we do know the result."

Critics of the new study have debunked it as too premature, and have openly accused the group of psychologists that conducted the study of fabricating some of the results.

Experts said they hope that the new study will help unravel some of the mysteries still surrounding the enigmatic human brain which has been a hot topic among researchers in recent times.

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-10 3:53

ROUTE REGULATER FOR RETARDATION

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-10 7:23

OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??
OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??
OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??
OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??
OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??
OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??
OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??
OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??
OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??
OKAY WHAT'S THE RETARDATION RATE FOR COPYPASTAS??

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-17 1:07

WOW IM SO WITTY FOR TYPING IN ALL CAPS!

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-17 7:29

>>40
So how come their Empire collapsed internally before the barbarian invasions? I BLAME UPPER CASE LETTERS!

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-17 10:32

All caps make me blind!

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-18 18:59 (sage)

CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL

Name: Matt 2006-09-18 22:48

>>40 'V' doesn't equal 'U,' tard. They didn't have a 'U' so replacing it with the letter that became the former isn't going to make you seem smart.

>>4 That doesn't make it easier to read. It makes it a good twenty times more difficult. So, in other words, tl;dr.

Name: Anonymous 2006-09-26 1:41

ALL HAIL TEH CAP!!!

Name: Anonymous 2006-10-02 2:24

>>48
YES!

Name: okistea 2006-10-02 10:16

WHO'S THE CAP-DADDY????

Name: Anonymous 2006-10-03 0:36

>>50
WHERE'S THE MOMMY????

Name: Anonymous 2006-10-05 9:02

>>51

ARE YOU MY MUMMY?

Name: Anonymous 2006-10-05 11:55

>>52
I CAN BE UR MUMMY IF U LET ME STICK IT IN UR POOPER

Name: Anonymous 2006-10-05 19:32

>>52
IF THERE'S DADDY, WOULDN'T THE BE MOMMY? SIMPLE LOGIC...

Name: pekka 2006-10-08 13:29

ITS GOOFY TIME!!!

Name: BUTTSECKSER 2006-10-26 20:13

LOL OMG IT HURTS SO BAD I WANT TO BITE IT

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-10 0:25 ID:oF9FBXZo

ALL CAPS FOR TEH WIN!!

Name: anonymous 2007-06-10 0:27 ID:oF9FBXZo

SPLENGBORG SKURPONCKCHDKEIJDJFIOWJ111111!!

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-10 1:12 ID:Kh3RGBDd

I HATE THE BRITISH MEDIA BECAUSE OF THEIR OVER-THE-TOP NARRATION AND COVERAGE OF VERY STUPID TOPICS LIKE INTELLIGENCE/AMERICA and DISASTERS.

HOW ABOUT COVER dentristy I HEAR THAT'S A GOOD TOPIC.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-10 9:29 ID:defIyh45

so i herd u were mildly retarded

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-10 18:34 ID:EREL4qkx

>>59
its dentistry

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-10 23:34 ID:Fd+rp2ay

are you saying people are destined to use caps and become mildy retarded

Name: J.M. 2008-11-13 14:29

I write in all caps. But I assure you that I'm not retarded. Hell, I'm a 16 year old highschool graduate, almost a sophmore in college, and about to start nursing school. So shove that up your asses. :]

Name: Anonymous 2008-11-15 8:51

>> 63

LOL RETURD

Name: Anonymous 2008-11-15 14:01

Name: Mighty the Armored Dildo 2009-03-21 21:37

Num Lock is cruise control for math.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-26 3:29

retard strength, huuuuUH!

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-29 10:41

NO U

Name: suomynonA 2009-03-31 8:32

Clever troll, I hope. I really hope there aren't any real scienticians who can go this terribly wrong. The correlation is obviously wrong; mild retardation causes the extensive use of cruise control and internet abbreviations.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-31 10:27

R U MAD?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-31 16:56


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Name: Dildo 2011-03-27 22:40

Lock control is cool caps cool for.

Name: Anonymous 2011-04-26 19:29

oh no, don't set your reso or edit xorg.conf so it's big enough for your eyes to see, just get out there and shout how refucktarded y'are, no matter what you say

Name: Tamir Pardo 2011-05-12 4:19

We of the Mossad would like to formally warn world4ch of its dangerous actions against the Jewish people. Please understand our cause is to unite the world in peace. Now go and cease your anti-Semitism or else actions will be taken.

Name: SUPER FAT BURNIN 2011-05-31 3:27

Name: Supra PE 2011-05-31 3:29

Name: Anonymous 2011-06-01 13:06

Study: using all caps causes mild retardation
Mild?

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