Shopping Mall Santa?

can you get arrested if you take a job as a shopping mall santa and you accidently pop a boner while a kid is on your lap?

better pack a candy cane for misdirection

@2 U mean da kidz will suck ur dick thinking there licking candy lol

>>3
This is a christian board, you sick disgusting fuck!

>>4
*grabs dick*

Sum of dem kids like to squirm alot while theys on your lap so its only natural for your penis to get excited and stand to attention like a good soldier. hoorah!

@4 hahaha i remember christian his mom was a slute shes screamin NOOOO PLZ TAKE ME INSTED!!!! while i was exploring her lil boys love whole, what a whore lol

>>1
Serious answer.

Yeah I think you would be arrested but more damaging would be the civil suit by the parents.

Yeah, if it gets rubbed and pushed around enough it will stand up regardless of how you feel... but that is not the real problem, kids are brutal. From experience in dealing with children, particularly when in large groups (daycare, parties, retail, restaurant, etc...) wear a cup! They will step on you, hit you, run into you at full speed while looking backwards (toddlers headbutting your crotch is not fun).
Also avoid anything with long hard objects [sic] like baseball, minigolf, piñata, and disarm them if they have sticks, branches, brooms, chainsaws, grenade launchers...
But yeah, wear a cup.

>>9
what type of cub do you recommend?
I would need a supersize 5l coke bottle one, but its that practical with the beard

>>10
Skinny dick!
Related:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HQ4wUmVM70w/TCIXhaVqJQI/AAAAAAAAAsQ/kS2JMhcUHUA/s1600/eco-coke-bottle.jpg

>>10
>what type of cub do you recommend?
I'd recommend a puma cub, they are the easiest to tame.

For proper precaution, you should wear a chastity belt.

A Medieval codpiece made from forged steel is REQUIRED.

Blackadder would have worn his "Russian codpiece". Little Susie would never be the same after she sat on that.

>>15
funnily enough i just got the complete series boxset, i remember that joke vaguely havent seen the show for a long long time.

>>16-kun, I just googled it, and it is the "Black Russian" codpiece. And it was shaped as if the wearer had an erection, and so Blackadder strutted around the social affair with this ridiculous piece of steel so significantly protruding.

>>17
Probably not the only time you have googled penises on your computer.

>>18-san, I did not do that. I googled "Blackadder codpiece".

There is a specific reason why you got so excited over googling penises. And you know why that is. You do that action with some regularity, and so assume that many others do, too. But that is false. Very few do that, and those who do are freaks and other such mentally defective persons. So you are a freak or otherwise a mentally defective person.

>>19
didnt you post some cock shots on /soc/ recently?

>>20
No. Simple enough for you?

>>21
umad rodcram?

I would love for some well-endowed male to make me experience the pleasure of being cummed inside. I yearn for the throbcock vehemently pistoning my lovehole.

THICK
THROBCOCK
TODAY

>>23
You have a good grasp of it, but you don't quite have it yet.

"Throbcock"? On my 4chan?