Shopping Mall Santa?

can you get arrested if you take a job as a shopping mall santa and you accidently pop a boner while a kid is on your lap?

Yeah, if it gets rubbed and pushed around enough it will stand up regardless of how you feel... but that is not the real problem, kids are brutal. From experience in dealing with children, particularly when in large groups (daycare, parties, retail, restaurant, etc...) wear a cup! They will step on you, hit you, run into you at full speed while looking backwards (toddlers headbutting your crotch is not fun).
Also avoid anything with long hard objects [sic] like baseball, minigolf, piñata, and disarm them if they have sticks, branches, brooms, chainsaws, grenade launchers...
But yeah, wear a cup.