Return Styles: Pseud0ch, Terminal, Valhalla, NES, Geocities, Blue Moon. Entire thread

Amusing things cats are imagined to do

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-24 0:33

Imagine a cat operating a television remote control, and stopping at a program that piques his interest.  Perhaps it is a fishing show.  Fancy that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-09 0:44

A cat who lets mice frolic on his fat belly.  What does he care; he's already fat, and sleepy.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-09 0:47

Imagine a cat delivering pizzas for the mafia wearing an arachonofiber uniform with a pair of swords on his back. Fancy that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-09 0:53

>>82
LOL SO RANDOM XD

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-09 1:01

>>83
Not random, don't comment if you don't get the reference.

Name: RedCream 2009-05-09 1:14

>>82
HIGH-SPEED PIZZA DELIVERY IS ONLY OF AMERICA'S REMAINING THREE SKILLS.  Can you name the other two?  Note:  Cats can perform the other two.

Name: RedCream 2009-05-09 1:15

>>84
Obviously, I get the reference.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-09 3:49

Imagine an overweight cat sitting at a computer desk in a dark room typing up a response to a post someone made on an internet forum. It is drinking Red Bull and has /d/ open in another tab. Fancy that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-09 4:08

>>87
In my imagination he has a cat neckbeard.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-09 4:35

Jeepers, look how rich that guy got, bringing pizza cats to you:  Haim Saban (Hebrew: חיים סבן, born 15 October 1944 in Alexandria, Egypt[1]) is a television and media proprietor. With an estimated current[update] net worth of 2.8 billion USD, he is ranked by Forbes as the 102nd richest person in America.

Hebrew?

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-09 11:36

Imagine a cat wearing a stripey jumper and a face mask stealing a milk lorry. Fancy that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-10 20:36

A cat dressed as a ninja creeping up on a mouse and then slitting its throat from behind with a sharpened claw. The mouse turns around and looks in the cats eyes as his lifeblood drains, and the cat says to him, "Mew"

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-10 20:40

Imagine a bunch of cats driving their antique cars to a weekly show during the summer.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 5:51

A cat and his roommate are coming home after eating dinner at Arby's together.  They spent the whole ride home arguing about the Clinton impeachment from a few years ago.  As they walk to the door, their voices raise as the two get more and more angry at each other's opinions.

The roommate thinks the whole trial was just a witch hunt, but the cat take purrrrrjury very seriously.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 8:56

>>93
The horsey sauce is enough to bring together the opposing sides, they sit down and after a bite of delicious roast beef, are able to reconcile their differences.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 9:59

>>94
Reading comprehension FAIL, they were on their way home from Arby's.
Imagine a cat reading catchan.org and laughing whenehver mutilated cats are posted, but whenever someone posts a picture called "Zippohuman" it flames the poster.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 10:38

96

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 10:38

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Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 10:38

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Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 10:38

99

Name: 100GET!!! 2009-05-11 10:39

100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!! 100GET!!!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 10:57

>>100
This thread did not need that assfoolery...

Imagine a cat sitting alone listening to mournful jazz, remembering when he used to slow dance with his long lost sweetheart to the very same song, many years ago

Name: Anti-Semitic Nazi cats 2009-05-11 11:06

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KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 11:55

>>102
Please, if you must do this, do it in /vip/
Although at least you had a cat themed name for your post.
Imagine a cat, running a pet rescue centre for budgies. None of the budgies are ever seen again. Fancy that

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 12:01

Imagine a cat wearing a chef's hat and an apron that says "Kiss the Cook!", flipping fish burgers on a grill.

Name: RedCream 2009-05-11 12:57

Imagine a cat poasting KIKESPAM.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 13:47

Imagine a cat observing someone petting another cat, and then proceeding to mimic the action on another cat.  Fancy that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 13:49

Imagine a catgirl wearing a little ribbon banning the spammer in 102.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 19:55

>>14
yea thats stupid..

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-11 20:36

>>108
Some of the posts in this thread really remind me of the humour of Jimmy Carr, ie >>15 , >>25 and >>12
I doubt he posts here, but it's that kind of quality this place needs.

Imagine a cat riding a harley davidson. On its leather jacket it says "Born to be undomesticated"

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-12 3:48

Imagine a cat writing his lifes memoirs. It consists mostly of the interesting places he has been at night while his owners were asleep. He pauses and remembers one of his earliest memories. Maybe it is of his first ball of wool. Fancy that

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-12 8:14

>>109
>>15 and >>25 here, thanks.  I looked up Jimmy Carr.  I'll keep an eye out.
undomesticated... hilarious.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-12 14:28

>>108
Uh, no, that's pretty fuckin' awesome.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-12 20:32

>>111
Fuck you and every other dipshit like you who doesn't make an effort to accept an undeserved praise modestly. Pretentious underachievers like you or scum like the poets who think they're anything after writing a word or two of dubious value (and if there is any value it is usually coincidental) should burn at the stake.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-12 20:37

>>113
Imagine a cat sitting at a computer sobbing loudly smashing out his tears via a keyboard. Said cat is getting mad over a stranger on the Internet, fancy that!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-12 21:54

>>113
Or maybe it was just people being nice?  You've really got some issues there Buddy.  I think you need a hug.  Hey everybody, hugs for anon113.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-12 22:19

A cat giving a hug to >113

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-12 22:23

>>114
Genius Sir, pure genius!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-12 23:52

A cat uses a whisker comb first near his nose, and then on the whiskers that appear on the brow above each eye.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-13 0:04

None of these are amusing. You people are homos.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-13 0:38

>>117
Faggots who still say 'Sir' shamelessly copied from the Daily Show should also burn.
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