My journey to becoming a man

I used to be a little dork who could hardly talk to a girl.  Then I stopped coming to 4chan, got a job, bought a house. Now I get mad pussy all the time.
See a sexy chick in the corner of a bar?  Twenty seconds later, I'm bangin away in my car.
Spot a fine senorita walkin down the street?  I hit it so hard she won't even know what happned.
Notice the beautiful but frigid librarian reading a book?  After I'm done, she'll be the skankiest skank who ever skanked a skunk.
Spy a whale in the food court down at the mall?  I'll ride that like a 747.  And her hot friend.
So what can I say?  I'm a tail magnet.  Want to be like me?  You've got to BE me.

Welp, I'm gonna go flex my muscles.  That's right, I'm also buff.  And I have a 15" cock.  FUCK YEA!

>>1
You lack the necessary mustache for such extreme levels of masculinity.  Come back when you've grown one.

I was a dork and now I'm best friends with Benjamin Franklin

>>1
so what, a stray dog does the same fuckin thing

>>4
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Internet,_nobody_knows_you're_a_dog

>>1
I'd believe you if wrote this prior to sucking my cock yesterday. No straight guy could get that good at smoking the cock his 1st time. No sir, it takes a lifetime of dedication and years of practice.

What is a man?

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>>7
Come over to my house. I'll show you what a real man looks like.

>>9
Get outside of that woman's dress and diaper, fag!

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RAPE FIST

IF YOU DON'T RAPE 5 DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES YOU ARE NOT A BRO

>>11
According to my "victims" I can rape people over great distances by only using my mind. It's just that I don't feel like it.

>>12
the fuck you are right
i just rape you

>>10
I know you want to protect your mother from my monster cock, but I gotta give the lady what she wants. And sorry about her having to wear a diaper. I honestly didn't realize that I went in too deep and broke her anal sphincter and caused her to be unable to control her bowel movements. No hard feelings?

wish i had that life op but 4chan is just too hard to give up

>>15
I'll show you something else thats HARD that you won't be able to give up!!!

YOU'RE NOT A MAN
men have wings

>>17
Not getting the reference here bro, mind to elaborate?

>>18
Check your anus for my cum, d00d.

>>19
"d00d"?

n00b...