i must have sex in the next 3 months

i must have sex in the next 3 months
in 3 months i am 20 years old and i cannot bear the shame and failure of failing to lose my virginity, so i have decided to hang myself before i turn 20 unles i have sex. i will report back heere every day maybe. then again maybe not.

>>20
No and no.

The first "no" is for it being OK.  No, you MUST do a barrel roll.  When I say "do a barrel roll", it's an order, not a suggestion.

The second "no" is for your understanding and my reaction, combined.  Your comments weren't harsh, since they contained no sense.  In addition, I have no self-esteem problems with 4chan commentary, and in the larger picture, with silly commentary like yours in general.

So, to close this missive:  Do a barrel roll.  NAO.