How do you mask the sound of shitting?

I live in the dorms at a major university. I shit. I have a suitemate.


Tell me goons, because I've never quite figured out this art: let's say I have the shits like nobody's business and
I'm projectile shitting loosely-clumped brown water out of my ass -
how do I go about masking the sound of my murky ass-work?


I know most of us have been there: you're sitting in public (or a relatively public place, i.e. somebody's house or a restaurant) and you're trying to take a dump without the reverberations ass your ass cheeks alerting everybody within a 5-mile radius to your doings in the shitter. There has to be some sort of trick to masking it? I can only employ so many courtesy flushes before my ass is sufficiently wet from the drips, drop, and ass-splash that I get from flushing a commercial toilet.

you can't mask, you just have to do it and be proud of it.
look people straight in the eye, and say
"yeah I did it, and I hope it burns in hell"

live at a japan toilets

Goons? Go copy/paste from somewhere else, or at least edit the pasta a bit.

Who fuck uses the word.. GOONS. like wtf.

gays use the word goons, cause gays like goons
sound like gay goons, gay goons gay goons gay goons
gay goons gay goons gay goons gay goons gay goons

I would NEVER ever use the word goons.

>>7
Oh the irony

gay goons areg ayt

how Winnipeg.

fart

or just put loads of paper in the bowl to cushion the splash

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

masking tape

you goobers are so silly, "goons" is a nice enough word.  i mean shucks, the threads about shit-masking, not the heterosexuality of your goshdarn words

When I go into the bathroom, periodically there will be someone who has loud shits. They cough after shitting, in a futile attempt to cover it up. It's hilarious.

I always put toilet paper in the bowl because I always wipe down the AIDS off the seat.

put some heavy metal on

At first glance, I read the title as "How do you make the sound of shitting?"

>>16
me too.

　^　 ^
((　ﾟ д ﾟ )
　　つ　つ

I just let it rip, goddamit

everyone shits, those who are offended by it are pussies

>>21
I don't think the problem is so much as offending..

>>23
Way to bump a five years old thread, genious.

Explode your genitals, that's how.

>>24 Graet idear bro!!!!