love

what the fuck is love... why do I fall in love with some girl.. it does me no good. I have this grandiose image of everything working out someway and.. its bullshit. I hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm fucked up in the head. Maybe not as much as all you loli/cp people, but damn I'm fucked. I'm obsessed about this girl, insanely obsessed, she gets into my head like nothing I've ever known. I swear to god its out of control, I don't know what the fuck to do. I can't get rid of her even if I wanted to, which I don't, but the point is it just doesn't make any sense. Why the fuck do I think shes something special? why do I feel like I owe her something, that I should try for something.. fuck. I'm fucked up. Thanks for listening.

>>9
 the problem with me is.. I doubt everything too much. is she just another person? do you think theres ever someone that comes along that isn't just another person, cause it sure as hell feels like shes not just another person. and its not like I haven't known other people. I feel like.. if things were different it would work out, but the time, the place.. everything is just all off right now. do you wait for someone like that? but I think you're right.. I want to.. try to flip the situation around as much as I can because thinking about it is driving me insane, stressing me out to no end. It really is my greatest weakness.. its my own fault. love. It must just be an illusion.