/lounge/ - Long-Distance Relationships

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-07 5:26

I just wanted to know your take on long-distance relationships.

First, a bit of background. I met this girl in March 2004 (for convenience sake, I'll call her JJ), and soon realized I really liked her. But I never said anything to her, for a couple reasons, but the main reason is that she'd been planning to go study abroad for a year in New Zealand. (This was in the works long before I met her.) My thinking was, why try to start a relationship with someone you both know is going to leave? Just being friends would have to suffice.

Even before she left, I never got to hang out with JJ as much as I would've liked to. Then, in the spring 2005 semester, she started working three jobs -- in addition to 12 credit hours of classes -- to make some more money for her trip, so I got to see her even less. She finally left in June.

I tried to get over it as best I could. I would still ask out other girls, even when JJ was still here. She and I have kept in touch via e-mail, though often her messages were few and far between. But JJ's been on my mind a lot lately, and I've realized I never did fully got over her, and I'm thinking that maybe not saying anything was a mistake.

First, I haven't had any luck at all with other girls. To be honest, I'm feeling pretty damn lonely. JJ was really the best chance I've ever had.

Second, JJ recently got an internet connection in her dorm room, and for the first time, we can communicate via IM. (Internet connections are expensive in NZ it seems, so she's mostly just used computer labs or libraries. Also, telephone calls are not only expensive to begin with, but I don't have a land line, and receiving international calls on my mobile would be cost exponentially more.) Ironically, I "talk" to JJ more now than when she was here, and I'm starting to fall for her all over again. I enjoy our conversations so much, I've had no problem staying up really late due to the time difference. She recently left on a vacation (it's summer break down there right now), and I won't get to talk with her for at least two weeks, and I'm actually really bummed about it.

JJ won't be back in the US until late July at the earliest. (That is, if she doesn't find a way to extend the visa and stay even longer, she really loves it there). I don't have any experience with relationships to begin with, much less long-distance ones. (And 7800 miles is a really long distance.) Is it a good idea to try to start something now? Is it even realistically possible? If so, how do I go about it? Or is it better to just try my best to re-busy those feelings? I have about two weeks to figure this out.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-07 8:59

I kinda had the same story. When I was in Sweden, I got to know a girl, a friend's friend, we had a nice time talking, and basically we were digging each other. I was only staying few days there, so I left the country without doing anything physical with her. I was kinda reluctant to continue with here, since she was living quite far away.

I got her MSN from our common friend, and started talking. At the beginning it was a bit awkward, noone of us really wanted to be too clear about own feelings. Once it got cleared, we were talking over MSN almost every evening, for few hours. Things were really nice, and we were planning to meet again.

Then she started a new term at her university. She met a lot of new people. After some time I realized she was less and less often on MSN, and for shorter time. After some time like that, she told me that she wasn't feeling the same way towards me anymore, and that she wanted us to be just friends. It was not totally unexpected given how the situation was evoluating, but still was a blow.

We've been chatting over MSN for like 4/5 monthes. Being far away, and not having a solid basis to back up (we only knew each others for few days before separating) probably killed everything. The fact that she got to meet lots of new people (i.e. boys) was the finishing move in my opinion.

In one way, I don't regret this, we had some really nice talks. On the other way, we didn't sleep together, not even kissed. A bit of a waste.

If you know you won't be able to have physical contacts with her often, I'd advise to avoid this kind of relationships. Even if things start smoothly, distance will kill it. Especially if she's meeting new people. And trust me, studying abroad is a sure way to meet a lot of new persons, and eventually to fuck with some of them.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-09 4:45

Does anyone think it would be worth spending the money (almsot $5000 I figure) to go visit her for spring break?

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-09 6:28 (sage)

LOL NEW ZEALAND.

Shit sucks here in NZ for internet.

NZ is a suck place, dont worry, unless she lets you stick it in her pooper

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-09 7:54

Long distance relationships don't work. End of discussion.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-09 10:20

Christ what a failing thread. Dr Misogynist doesn't have the time to read, someone condense this into 10 words.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-09 21:29 (sage)

>>6
Girl of dreams went to New Zealand. Miss her dearly.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-10 0:21 (sage)

>>6
I, a loser, like a girl in New Zealand. Help.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-14 5:52

Bah, doesn't matter anymore, she seems to have recently met a guy over there. Shit. I knew I had no chance, but at least there used to be a tiny bit of hope. No longer.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-14 16:37

well...happy valentines day.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-19 2:56

>>1

IS A GIGANTIC FAGGOT

----
\"Nothing can save you from me! I am invincible! I am doom itself!\" -DONALD DUCK

You\'re a nut! You\'re crazy in the coconut!

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-19 6:39

>>9
thats the way women are. hell if you were nice to her bought her things and was always there for her. she would still leave for a guy who is cooler and has more money.
with women nobody wins.

Name: Anonymous 2008-09-07 12:53

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