I need to know how to write a cover letter. Everything I've written is garbage.. but I need -something- to submit by next week.
4chan, help me out. write me a cover letter for my resume. i am anonymous.
Name:
Anonymous2005-09-23 15:39
is a cover letter like a resume?
Name:
Anonymous2005-09-23 16:25
Dear Sir
I am a cheerful 4channer who is used to slacking whole days posting; especially on /b, /d and /vip. However, one has to pay his intarweb, otherwise I would not be able to leech not4chan. This is why I'm in ur company, requesting ur jobs, and here is my resume, it is made of exaggeration and lies.
Yours truly,
Anonymous
Name:
Anonymous2005-09-29 1:44
"Darling Fascist Bully-boys.
Give me some money, you bastards.
Boom Shanka."
Name:
Anonymous2005-09-30 23:48
I believe
"Boom Shakalaka" is more appropriate given the professional context.
Name:
Anonymous2005-10-02 4:27
I believe BIX NOOD is appropiate
Name:
I am Anonymous2005-10-10 10:55
Thanks to everyone's suggestions. I now have an interview scheduled for this week.
I know that if I do well on this interview, I'll be called back for a second, more intensive interview. If I do well on that interview, then I may be hired for the position..
So once again, 4chan, I am in your hands. What should I wear, and what should I say during the interview?
Name:
Anonymous2005-10-10 11:43
Tell them you like their teeth. Unless they don't have any, then you'll have to compliment their toes.
Everybody has toes.
Name:
Anonymous2005-10-10 15:55
True story:
Interviewer: So can you give an example of when you were creative?
Me: I like your toes. They're nice and round on the ends.
Interviewer: ...
*Interviewer takes off shoe to reveal a stub with no toes*
Me: ...
Interviewer: ...
Me: So once I got the idea of using lemons and cats to motivate my coworkers...
If your gonna make it in the business world, kid, ya gotta dress to impress. As a success, I hafta use this rule all the time. Here's a look that's slick like rick, and it'll stick with the prick whose interviewing you (<--this kinda bona-fide great wordplay is also important in the business world, by the way.) Anyway, wear this: Gold-colored linen suit, no lapels, unbuttoned. Burgundy or maroon button up shirt, no tie, top button undone. Black dress loafers, no socks. expensive-looking wire-frame sunglasses. Yuppie style laquered walking stick optional. wear three times as much cologne as you normally would, and smoke a cigar before you go in. This will combine for the aroma of success and confidence. slick your hair back, and use lots of gel.
This is how I dressed for my interview back in '87, and now I'm the VP of marketing. Learn from the best, kid, learn from the best. Ya gotta have moxie. Push it to the limit. Look out for number one. And always ask yourself "WWDRD?" (what would Dick Ruthless do?)
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Anonymous2005-10-11 14:15 (sage)
plastics.
Name:
Anonymous2005-10-12 4:09
>>1
Research the employer. The more you know about them the more impressed they'll be.
Their goals should be as consistent with yours as possible (hint).
Dress the same way the people that do the job you want do--only neater. If your applying for a Junior Marketing Rep, Leave your Armini in the closet.
If you get the chance, interview THEM. "Why should I accept an offer from You as opposed to B or C? What would you see as my future path here?". Oh' and One More Thing...RELAX. How you handle pressure is a lot of what's going on.
Luck
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12005-10-12 13:56
;_; 4chan! i messed up on the interview and said a few things that shouldn't've been said. "i work well under pressure, and i work better when handling two jobs simultaneously. i don't work so well when only focusing on one job with no tangible deadline." and "a demotivating environment would be one in which i received no communication from either superiors or subordinates. if i am told that a task must be accomplished, i can do it, even without instructions on HOW to do it. however, if i'm never told that the task is there, odds are i won't notice it on my own."
the latter was particularly damaging, and it was only after the fact that i realized how bad it was.. so i tried to correct myself, and dug a deeper hole, i think. :(
Name:
Anonymous2005-10-12 21:26
>>14
That's for not being sincere and going "Well, if I can slack off, I will; if you'll kick my ass if I do, I'll work".
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy