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Correct this french sentence

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-08 20:45

Goal sentence: "Hi Helene, how are you? About tonight, my friend told me he's going to the party around 10. Since it's close to where I live maybe we should meet at my place. So can you come over around 10? See you later."

Attempted translation: Coucou, Helene, comment ca va? Sur ce soir, mon amie me dite qu'il irait a la fete sur Dix heures. Depuis c'est proche a ou je mene peut etre nous devrait se retrouver a mon endroit! Alors peux tu venir environ dix heures? A bientot!

Please be able to explain the grammar mistakes and the correct grammar form (explain it). Please don't just post your own translation, I get very little help from that.

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-08 22:58

just missing a few accents

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-08 23:03

>>1
>implying people on /lang/ know foreign languages

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-08 23:08

>>2
Well yeah, this is just for the gist of it (basically everything except the accents).
The french speaking guy corrected quite a bit of this on another forum. There has to be someone that can explain my mistakes.

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-09 14:55

Tu es a moi, tu es ma vie
La somme de toutes mes envies
Tu es venu pour libérer mes sens
J'étais perdue tu as gagné ma confiance
Sens dessous dessus devant toi, sans défense

Je t'adore
pour ne rien te cacher
Je t'adore
aux yeux du monde entier
Tu me donnes plus, j'en veux encore
Notre amour est sans effort
Je t'adore
sens mon coeur qui bat vite
Je t'adore
sensation inédite
Et tous les jours un peu plis fort
Pour toi je suis toujours d'accord
Oh! Je t'adore

Bye Bye les larmes, les tromperies
Pour toi j'entame une autre vie
Tu es venu pour réveiller mes sens
J'étais perdue tu as gagné ma confiance
Je suis aux anges quand tu m'embrasses
Tu m'embrasses

Je t'adore
puisque je te le dit
Je t'adore
a la mort a la vie
Tu me donnes plus, j'en veux encore
Notre amour est sans effort
Je t'adore
sens mon coeur qui bat vite
Je t'adore
sensation inédite
Et toutes les nuits quand je m'endors
C'est de toi que je reve encore

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-11 4:28

>>3
Go away

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-11 17:10

Coucou Hélène, comment ça va ? Mon ami m'a dit qu'il irait à la fête ce soir vers 10 heures. Comme c'est proche de là où j'habite, peut-être qu'on pourrait se retrouver chez moi ! Alors tu peux venir vers 10 heures ? A bientôt !


I'm french, don't worry about my traduction

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-11 19:42

>>7
French here too, I think "C'est près de chez moi" instead of "c'est proche de là où j'habite" would be better. We say it more often, amirite or amirite ?

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-11 19:52

>>8
Ho, and so you have to change "se retrouver chez moi" to "s'y retrouver"

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-12 23:56

>>7
I am not worrying, but if you were able to explain WHY, it'd be of much more use.
However, thankyou anyways. :D

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-13 17:24

Clearly, that was a very litteral translation. let's see.
About tonight, that nice and dandy, but the about is superfluous. Tonight is enough, and so is "ce soir" But if you really want to sound like a lord, about should then be "à propos de". Hélène will be charmed, I'm sure. (go get her, tiger !)

my friend told me he's going to the party around 10, hope it's not a kegger party... but the sentence is in the past tence, so should be "dire" au passé composé "m'a dit" but now we have a problem. Is your other friend a boy or a girl ? "Amie" with the e in the end, is the feminine form. get used to it, everything in french as a gender (yes, even shemales) and then you said "qu'il irait" wich is the male form. Decide. (even if it's a shemale.) "qu'il irait" tho, is perfectly correct, and I must applause. Very nice use of the conditionnel présent.
aroud 10, well, in french, prefer the way "toward 10" time is not cheap, it's strict, and we don't say it twenty ways to sunday. "Vers dix heures" and that final.

Since it's close to where I live maybe we should meet at my place
Okay, you want to bang Hélène ? I won't say a word, wink wink, nudge nudge.
But still, Since it is goes better as "puisque c'est" because you talk about a place refered before, and you're making a transition, that the adverb you're looking for.
close is "près" where is "où" close to where then turns into "près de où" but two voyells can't coexist, so de is a good man and chops his teennee e off. "près d'où" (where does the cut part go ? don't worry, we're cannibals.) I live, je habite, but voyels are afraid of height, you know, so yum it goes "j'habite"
(bad pun, I know, forgive me. h sounds more like ache anyway.)

maybe we should; yes, we can be translated as "on" or "nous" but it's dangerous, like alchemy. "on" is familiar. "nous" is more respectfull. I suppose you know Hélène very well enough to invite her to a party, then, the "nous" is a no-no. (because otherwise, "devrait" should be corrected as "devrions" and you don't want to go there, that's where the grammarnazis live.)
"Peut-être qu'on devrait" don't forget the "que" ! 'that', maybe an obsolete liaison for you, but obligatory in this sentence. (plus, it's a semi-question, so it's even better)

my place, it's "chez moi" your own, don't be afraid to claim it.
"peut-être qu'on devrait se retrouver chez moi."
And then, rooffies. I'm not here to judge.
The rest is good, same as the beginning, around is better turned into toward "vers 10 heures"

À bientôt !

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Name: Momiko 2011-04-04 22:46

Coucou, Helene, comment ca va? Sur ce soir, mon amie me dite qu'il irait a la fete a environ 10 heures. Depuis c'est proche a ou je mene peut etre nous devrait se retrouver a mon endroit! Alors peux tu venir environ dix heures? A bientot!

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