My name is Ohtori Akio, and I am fascinated with and attracted to every single one of you. All of you are idealistic, sexually frustrated, but underlyingly innocent people who spend every second of their day searching across the internet for the one person to show you the beauty of eternity. You are an example of true struggle for growth in the world. Honestly, have any of you had anyone who truly gave you unadulterated pleasure? I mean, I guess it's arousing acting helplessly, but you all take it to a whole new level. I want to make you to feel the throb of my engine, Anonymous.
Don't be a stranger. Maybe we ride in my car sometime. I'm pretty much up for doing anything with you. I am a great chef, and an even greater lover. What things do you do, other than try to be idealistic and help others around you, while searching for a way out of your coffin? Maybe we could go to the carnival together, or maybe have a sleepover, looking at the stars (It would be SO arousing). You are all beautiful, like roses, and should come to my apartment sometime. Thank you for listening.
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
g g
o / \ \ / \ o
a| | \ | | a
t| `. | | : t
s` | | \| | s
e \ | / / \\\ --__ \\ : e
x \ \/ _--~~ ~--__| \ | x
* \ \_-~ ~-_\ | *
g \_ \ _.--------.______\| | g
o \ \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \ | o
a \ . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a
t /\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/ t
s / /\| C_____) | (___> / \ s
e | ( _C_____)\______/ // _/ / \ e
x | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ | x
* | \ \____) `---- --' | *
g | \_ ___\ /_ _/ | g
o | / | | \ | o
a | | / \ \ | a
t | / / | | \ |t
s | / / \__/\___/ | |s
e | / / | | | |e
x | | | | | |x
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x *
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:24
I hope we get to see LastShadow's mask again today.
That shit was dark and edgy.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:24
I'd just like to make one thing straight to you HerO posters.
HerO may appear "cute" on the outside, but if you were ever to engage in sexual practice with him you would be disgusted and turned off.
He is a pro gamer, not a supermodel, he has bad hygiene and a lousy body. Let's start from the top.
He will smell bad.
His skin would be greasy, this is even evident from pictures posted in these threads.
He would more likely than not have very bad breath.
(Clothes are off)
He has a high body fat percentage, so he most likely has man boobs.
He most certainly does not have "sexy" visible abs.
He will have love handles.
He will have very hairy foul smelling armpits.
He will have a pot belly.
He will likely have hairy nipples.
He will not have shaven his lower regions, which is disgusting.
His dick will smell and will be undersized.
His legs will be flabby and pubey/hairy.
He will have no ass, or a saggy one.
He will have no sexual experience.
I'm not sure where this idea that a progamer is some sort of perfect beautiful model came from, but it is painfully stupid.
I can only say if you were aware of all this and you're still interested in sex with HerO then you're just a sick desperate fuck.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:24
Hey Faggots,
My name is Ika musume, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded mammals who spend every second of their day on the land. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any tentacles? I man, I guess it's fun making fun of fishes because your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pregnant whales in the pacific ocean.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the tuna schools, and leader on my squid pack. What sports do you play, other than jack off in the bath tub? I also get tentacles, and have shrimp daily (It was very delicious; Shit was SO cash). You are all humans should just kill yourself. Thanks for listening.
No the whole fucking problem with hots design is simple, the fucking zerg caster is an air unit.
The whole point of defiler is this slow, easy to kill, defenseless, but super powerful unit that slowly advances and fucks you up with OP swarm and plague, but is easily killed.
Now zerg will have science vessal style casters that just move wherever the fuck they want and motherfucking nydus worms that kill buildings?
wtf is blizzard thinking, they dont understand that they should be trying to add in middle of the map engagements, tug of war, and actual unit positioning vs blobs. AKA holding space, creating space, pushing forward. By creating this middle of the map control or tug of war with entranched defenses (lurkers, tanks, defilers) or for instance protoss who tries to pin the enemy in their base to slow down pushes, NONE of this exists in most sc2 matchups and it becomes a big ball vs ball or harassment. They need to reconfigure each race to have slow pushes, map controlling entrenchment units (defiler, lurker, tank) so that you actually get these big engagements of pushing/pulling in the middle of the map.
Instead it's fucking super missiles for terran, flying defilers for zerg, and town portal for protoss, so that map position means jack shit. and you get ball vs ball with harass inbetween.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:25
Imagine you’re IdrA. You are playing Startale’s Bomber in the first broadcast match of MLG, on stage, in front of a huge crowd. You’re practicing hard for this match and you’re going to show your best stuff. Bomber is really skilled, but you’re confident in your ZvT and ZvZ. You just hate Protoss because they are imbalanced. But a day or so before the match, you find out Bomber missed his flight. That’s not so bad, it’ll be a walkover or someone from the Open Bracket, both options way better than playing against Bomber.
Then the day of the tournament you walk into the venue and sit down to play some warmups in the booth. You look over and there’s already someone in the other booth. He looks Korean. Dde? SeleCT? Who is it? You walk out of your booth and over to the other one. You open the door. “Hello?”
The chair slowly turns around. You see his face, but it can’t be. He’s not supposed to be here. Not him. Not a Protoss. Not THAT Protoss.
MC says, “Hi Greg, long time no see.”
You back slowly out of the booth.
But you can’t. It’s already forcefielded.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:25
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
g g
o / \ \ / \ o
a| | \ | | a
t| `. | | : t
s` | | \| | s
e \ | / / \\\ --__ \\ : e
x \ \/ _--~~ ~--__| \ | x
* \ \_-~ ~-_\ | *
g \_ \ _.--------.______\| | g
o \ \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \ | o
a \ . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a
t /\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/ t
s / /\| C_____) | (___> / \ s
e | ( _C_____)\______/ // _/ / \ e
x | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ | x
* | \ \____) `---- --' | *
g | \_ ___\ /_ _/ | g
o | / | | \ | o
a | | / \ \ | a
t | / / | | \ |t
s | / / \__/\___/ | |s
e | / / | | | |e
x | | | | | |x
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x *
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:25
>mfw if Hitler won, not only would we have little to no Jews, niggers, chinks, pakis, sandniggers, mexicans, eskimos or filthy Americans, but we'd also all be speaking glorious and beautiful Deutsch in a racially pure and beautiful land of stable economic and environmental growth, but also wholesome family and health values being promoted internationally.
>instead it's 2012, race mixing and miscegenation is everywhere, niggers run rampant shouting incorrigibly in Swahili while raping white women in broad daylight and blasting rap music, gays freely fuck one another in public parades, women have rights, America is a barely illiterate shithole, pollution is prominent and chinks have the highest population in the world.
>and then as if to add insult to injury, the few surviving Jews, as if fueled by a beastly vengeance for mankind, have reached the highest echelons of control on Earth, such as the media through the News Corporation and the Disney Company, the Federal Reserve, Facebook and 4chan (not only do they control the television and the news, but they ALSO control the social networks), Mayor of New York, various parts of the government around the world and Israel still hasn't received a single nuking.
Not only that, but Gom is clearly a Jewish run and owned corporation. Just think about who they prefer to hire:
Jewtosis and Jewtrap need no explanation
Wolf is a Zionist who deeply craves to race mix
Tasteless is the homosexual life partner of a Jew
Khaldor might be German but shaves his head bald to hide his non-Aryan hair.
Not only that, but the music they play is all Zionist propaganda created by the Korean Sect of the Jewish media empire, also known as K-pop.
The fact that Hitler never succeeded just proves to me that there is no God, and if there is one, he hates us, and is probably Jewish.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:25
my literal sides
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:25
He's the hero that Starcraft deserves, but not the one it needs right now...
So we'll detect him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero--he's an invisible assailant, a cloaked protector...
The Dark Knight.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:25
Yeah, I think everyone owes it to themselves to consider suicide. Most people don't even know why they are living. At least get to the point where you have visualized how you will carry out your own death since psychiatrists will consider that a significant step in the authenticity of your contemplation of suicide. Then once you have that scenario in your mind, you can begin to think about reasons for living. If you can find no reason or purpose to your life, but you find your life painful, then you should consider the idea that life might not be for you. Maybe you don't find meaning, but you don't consider life to be painful, then you might think "Well I have no reason to live but I have no reason to die. I'm living at the moment so I'll just carry that out."
fuck you, ive raped people for far less than this. you think you can fucking come ITT and just act like a fucking hardass and order people around? Bad news for you, fuckface, but tonights the night your luck runs out. You fucking tell ANYBODY on this board what to do again, and you're going to find out the hard way what a fucking baseball bat to the side of the skull feels like. Think I'm fucking kidding? I have your IP, I know who you are, and Im more than willing to settle this argument face to fucking face. You call yourself "Hooligan"? We'll see who's the hooligan when one of us is lying face down in a pile of their own blood, shit, and piss. Try and order someone else on here around, and see what fucking happens to you. I'm normally a calm guy but when I need to, I'm willing to break some fucking face to get my point across, just fucking test me you worthless sack of excrement.
>Go to fancy hairdresser
>No customers yet because it's early in the morning
>Every stylist look at me entering and smile
>One of them is a cute Asian girl
>They ask me who do i want for the haircut
>Walk toward the Asian girl without saying a word
>Seat down and she ask what is the haircut I'm looking for
>Take out a 8.3x11.7 inches picture out of a black folder
>Pic related it's that one of G-Dragon
>Cute Asian eyes start lighting up when she sees it
>We talk during the whole time she is styling my hair which is about one hour
>Learns that she is Korean and that she loves K-pop and particularly BIGBANG
>Ask her who she prefers in BIGBANG
>"G-Dragon or TOP I'm not sure yet..."
>Haircut is done
>Stand up and we are both watching the result in the mirror
>She says now she is sure: she prefers G-dragon
>Feel her touching my back pocket
>Walk out of the store and check the pocket
>It's a piece of paper with a phone number, a heart and a dragon drawn on it
>Korean girlfriend acquired
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:26
>mfw I modeled my main character as a handsome, idealistic man and have a hard time focusing on the game because I like to make him take off his upper armor and adore his muscular, manly chest and what it would be like for him to dominate me and whisper dirty things into my ear, all the while knowing that he's actually an undead and feeling slightly ashamed for the fact that I want to have sex with what is essentially a zombie and fantasizing about making retarded jokes while fondling his balls like "wow, looks like the dead is rising, in your pants!"
>mfw even when I put on my crappy upgraded Baldur's Armor I can barely focus because it shows of his sexy midriff and I have a midriff fetish and I purposely waste humanity after I die to make him sexy so I can adore his midriff.
>that feel when it's only a matter of time before we get to see the glory of our Bonjwa tearing his way through the GSL Code S.
>Grand Finals vs MMA
>It goes the final match
>that feel when the glory of the first foreign bonjwa becomes a legend, and the pride the world feels for Stephano causes StarCraft 2 to finally become an Olympic sport
>Stephano wins a Gold medal in the first Olympic Summer games with StarCraft 2 as a major even held in an American football stadium vs DRG.
>tfw when Christopher Nolan decides to make a film about the Bonjwa's rise to fame across nations (entitled, 'Bonjwa Begins'), bringing StarCraft 2 to become a global sport.
>it becomes the highest earning sports film ever made, for 20 years.
>the bonjwa uses the royalties to graduate from university, and after 4 long years of the world of eSports missing his presence, he returns, to change the way games are played, worldwide.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:26
forgive english, i am Russia.
i come to study Mechanical Engineering at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American video game and then we are kiss.
We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fuck this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ass, I CUM IN ass" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.
I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:26
>that feel when Dong Rae Jew cheated his stage partner Jawnius out of 30 million won.
It all began before the Finals even began. Genius was poised to win the prize so that he could finally have his teeth fixed and no longer be so poor that he could only feed on gravel. But the greed of the False Dong was too much.
The first few games starts out according to Team MVPs plan. Genius was supposed to carry out a supposedly 'brilliant' carrier strategy that would crush DRGG making only roaches and lings. However, the Jew Dong grew greedy, and instead decided to betray his partner by doing an essentially countering build, droping roaches and hydralisks into his third and natural as the carrier count was still too meek. Confused and desperately seeking for pebbles to nibble on, Genius was shocked when his teamate DRG came into the booth to tell him that he intended to take all the money for himself!
Genius tried to fight back, taking one game of off DRG, but with an easy base trade and a mass muta build on zergfire, Dong was able to take home his dirty cash easily.
As it stands, poor Jung Minced Tooth will most likely have to have his dental fees covered by his military service, and he'll probably die when Kim Jong-Un decides to nuke a Worst Korean military base after watching the terribly staged finals. While the Jew Dong is busy Donging his girlfriend in Spain on a bed made entirely out of worthless, Korean won, poor Jawnius' teeth will become mere dust, as non-existent as the molars of the Protoss units he once microed.
Rest in Peace,
Graveller.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:26
Hey guys, Dort here. Our team "Manly Tears" (some of you might remember us as the /v/ clan from the MGO/MAG days) is making steady progress in the "Abandoned Facility" map. But, we're heavily underhanded as out team only consists of about 7 members. That's why we need you guys. We already have a couple of /vg/ members with us, and soon we should have enough folks for a second team to run conquests.
If you're interested Contact Grivlier for the password, and then search for "Manly Tears" in the team menu.
pic related, it's going well but we lost a territory today because we have so few members.
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:26
you're a fat skinhead who sits in his room all day telling himself he's inherently special because he's white and his failure of a life doesn't matter, he a winner anyway by default, or its the fault of someone else, ohhh those joos, i mean you're such a waste of skin you can't even be creative in your desperate attempt to blame your failures on others, you go with the most stereotypical mindless knee-jerk blame game, blame the joos. you wouldn't know whats going on outside your house let alone israel. stop being such a joke bro. and you fags really need to stop with this mental illness paranoia that everyone who mocks you is a secret joo, at this point in you mental illness, there must be 100 trillion joos in the world. i know you have some psychological need to convince yourself your views are common, and therefore everyone who's ever talked shit to you is a jew, but if your views were common, the jews would be gone and you wouldn't be a cast out in society. you need to come to terms with what a joke you are. stop deluding yourself.
The thought that at some point, IU has been sitting in a very important business meeting with a whole board of multimillionaires and suddenly felt the need to excuse herself to the restroom. It's fascinating to me to think that a girl that's so groomed, so pampered... a woman whose entire livelihood is built around her looks and image squats down on the toilet like the rest of us and squeezes out a fat turd. Or maybe not even a turd, maybe her shit is like beef stroganoff with a mixture of solid and liquid whirled together. Maybe she's a person who just drops single logs; compacted by hours of constipation as she sits helplessly applying layers of make up. What good does all that make up do to your face as she grimaces and her face goes beet red and her asshole protracts squirting out yesterdays kimchi. Sometimes when I lay a big log down, I'm usually proud if it's a foot or longer in length and take a picture to document it. I wonder if IU feels the same pride as myself as she looks behind her at the gigantic turd she has unleashed? Perhaps she feels shame..
I wonder how her bodyguards feel, her managers and assistants as they sit outside the bathroom listening to the sounds of her ass vibrating off the porcelain tiles. How about the person who enters the bathroom after IU? Such luck to be able to waft in the stench of IU's colon. I'd like to say I'm a well composed man, but I don't think I would be able to resist the temptation of licking those race streaks off the sides of the toilet. You don't get those opportunities that often, and to think how my body would shiver in ecstasy as I feel her buttpaste on my tongue. Even licking the toilet paper knowing that IU touched it before washing her hands would feel like heaven.
God the possibilities
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Anonymous2012-05-26 12:27
How's it going, eh, /a/, my name is Jamal Martin.
I'm a 27 year old American Canucklehead (Canucks fan for you foreigners). I draw hockey art on my tablet, and spend my days building igloos and dogsledding.
I train with my hockey stick every day, this superior weapon can bruise your shins because of the super-high tensile tape, and it is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my hockey stick license 2 years ago, and have been getting better every day.
I speak English and French fluently, both Newfie and Quebecois dialects, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Canadian history and their Criminal Code of Canada, which I follow 100%.
When I get my Canadian visa, I am moving to Toronto to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can be a hockey player or an igloo engineer!
I own several parkas, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Canada, so I can fit in easier. I apologize to my elders and speak English and then French as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.
Manliness and confidence vs awkwardness and narcissism at its finest.
Khaldor dared to contradict Day9's opinion a couple of times (dont remember the circumstances) while they were casting so Day9 obviously decided it was a good idea to do his best to put Khaldor in difficulty during the cast.
The best way to do it was asking Khaldor what was on players mind everytime the situation was difficult to read (for example when a player could transition in 2 different ways at the same time) so that the elements on the map weren't enough.
Khaldor however realised it quite quickly, and since he's not someone you can bully around (shit, not when you are a greasy neckbeard who throws tantrum through his channel everytime something goes wrong like Day9) he decided to bring the casting on a more confortable territory: DAILY LIFE.
Can you imagine Khaldor talking about clubs, lifting weights, joking about Day9's weak arms while 'jokingly' giving him a little punch and so on?
All of this while casting, of course.
You could basically hear Day9 shutting the fuck up more and more, while Khaldor didn't had mercy for even an istant.
Dunno if it was more pissed off or having fun, bt probably was a mixture of both.
Then Khaldor brought a beer bottle, and that was when I realised that we had reached the point of no return.