/prog/ play

Let's write a play about /prog/ collaboratively.

                  --ACT 1 SCENE 1--


Dr. Sussman: Hello Xarn.
Xarn: Hello The Sussman.
Dr. Sussman: Have you read your /prog/ today?
Xarn: Have you read your SICP today?

Exit Dr. Sussman

This is about the third or fourth time I've been to the textboards.

Tell me why I should stay.

>>2
You shouldn't. There aren't any funny images to entertain you. And you didn't contribute to the play, baka.

                   --ACT 1 SCENE 2--

Xarn: [Thinking] I haven't checked /prog/ in a while. I wonder what's been posted...

-- ACT 1 SCENE 3 --

[Dr. Sussman masturbates furiously, pants around ankles, moaning wildly like a retard in a candy shop.]
Lauren: Sussman, what the fuck are you doing?
Dr. Sussman: Oh, sorry, I didn't notice you there.
Lauren: You've been staring at my breasts for the past 45 seconds while you pulled down your pants and started to... ugh.
Dr. Sussman: Yeah. Deal with it.
[Exit Lauren]

baka
You're wrong about the images

'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE HERE

>>5
Maybe this specific board. But more people doesn't mean quality.

                    --ACT 1 SCENE 4--
[Dr. Sussman wakes up]
Dr. Sussman: [Thinking]What a strange dream. I must get back to editing SICP, ready for the 3rd edition. I hope Hal doesn't give me jip about dumbing down.
Abelson:Hello The Sussman
Dr. Sussman: Hello, Hal.

Exit Abelson

http://www.thewebcomiclist.com/o/8538

This play is fucking awful.

>>8
improve it then

>>8
It's open source. If you don't like it, fork it.

needs more Yannick

                   --ACT 1 SCENE 5--

[Xarn proceeds to hop onto /prog/ but is immediately interrupted by a small boy
named Lambda Arthur Calculus.onto /prog/]
Lambda Arthur Calculus: GIT OFF DAT COMPUTER U STUPID ASIAN U CANT EVEN WRITE
STANDARD-COMPLIANT CODE.
Xarn: I wasn't going to write any code today, I was going to write an article
about sexual pleasure and the female anatomy.
[Lambda Arthur Calculus, finding those topics strange and uncomfortable, bursts
 into an autistic rage and rams into Xarn, knocking him off his chair.]
Xarn: Please, do not harm me! I cannot offer you money but I can offer you tips
on pleasing your loved ones during sex.
[Covering his ears with his hands, Lambda Arthur Calculus jumps into a corner
and begins making disturbing sounds.]
[Meanwhile, Xarn curls into a ball, sheds his small asian corpse, then emerges
as a butterfly and flies off.]

Oh shit this play is starting to get good.

>>12
Narrator: Xarn was never seen again, though he still frequents /prog/.