/prog/ play

Let's write a play about /prog/ collaboratively.

                  --ACT 1 SCENE 1--


Dr. Sussman: Hello Xarn.
Xarn: Hello The Sussman.
Dr. Sussman: Have you read your /prog/ today?
Xarn: Have you read your SICP today?

Exit Dr. Sussman

                   --ACT 1 SCENE 5--

[Xarn proceeds to hop onto /prog/ but is immediately interrupted by a small boy
named Lambda Arthur Calculus.onto /prog/]
Lambda Arthur Calculus: GIT OFF DAT COMPUTER U STUPID ASIAN U CANT EVEN WRITE
STANDARD-COMPLIANT CODE.
Xarn: I wasn't going to write any code today, I was going to write an article
about sexual pleasure and the female anatomy.
[Lambda Arthur Calculus, finding those topics strange and uncomfortable, bursts
 into an autistic rage and rams into Xarn, knocking him off his chair.]
Xarn: Please, do not harm me! I cannot offer you money but I can offer you tips
on pleasing your loved ones during sex.
[Covering his ears with his hands, Lambda Arthur Calculus jumps into a corner
and begins making disturbing sounds.]
[Meanwhile, Xarn curls into a ball, sheds his small asian corpse, then emerges
as a butterfly and flies off.]