Stupid Character Names

ITT: we list stupid character names that make you facepalm or lol hard when you read them. Bonus points for listing actual names from books you've read.

I'll begin. I don't read these, but every name I'm listing below comes from stupid Harlequin Romance novels:

Flint Ironstagg
Butch Deadlift
Fingy Hamhanderson
Bean Sickleheart
John Hammerdown
Guy Sledge
Samson Longhose
Bolt Vanderhuge
Stamp Thrustpuddle
Ram Ironshield

Every time I read "Sansa" I think of an mp3 player.

>stupid Harlequin Romance novels

My mom reads a shit ton of those things. I've read a few just to see what the hell the deal is. Holy shit, it's like the book version of cheesy B-grade Cinemax films after 10pm. The guys had names like Lace Strong and Stone Vander.

see: Space Mutiny episode of MST3K

humbert humbert

at least until i found out how you actually pronounce it

Ignatius J Reilly

Ms. Chokesondick from South Park.  Possibly inspired by Dickens' Mr. M'Choakumchild, another teacher.  Dickens was the greatest at funny, relevant character names.

hiro protagonist

>>8
this

Bilbo Baggins

Tartarin de Tarascon

Tartarin de Tarascon

>>8

It's supposed to be stupid, fuckhat.

>>13
God you're an asshole.  Is that some kind of troll?  Jumping into a thread, saying something shitty, not contributing, then just going about your miserable way.  I wonder if anyone's tried to classify trolls yet.

Anyway,  Beaver Cleaver

>>13
I don't suppose your stupidity is deliberate as well. Of course the name is still stupid whether deliberately so or not, so I don't see where you get off calling the guy a fuckhat.

>>14
That would be a great name if the character weren't a child.

Harry Potter