Stupid Character Names

ITT: we list stupid character names that make you facepalm or lol hard when you read them. Bonus points for listing actual names from books you've read.

I'll begin. I don't read these, but every name I'm listing below comes from stupid Harlequin Romance novels:

Flint Ironstagg
Butch Deadlift
Fingy Hamhanderson
Bean Sickleheart
John Hammerdown
Guy Sledge
Samson Longhose
Bolt Vanderhuge
Stamp Thrustpuddle
Ram Ironshield

hiro protagonist