Damn it, Pratchett

I love the Discworld books. They're well written, genuinely funny, and somehow manage to not recycle jokes more than once or twice.

But I would really love it if there had been more than one character per every five books that had even seen their own genitalia, let alone speculated about that of the opposite sex.

I mean, I'm not asking for porn or even outright acknowledgment that characters have sex. It would just be really nice if characters acted like they actually knew what the ultimate goal was when they're attracted to someone.

>>1
You just want some dwarf action, with silky beards and axes.

like this deleted scene from Going Postal?

Moist just couldn't control himself, there was something about the way Gladys waggled her gigantic clay arse as she walked past that drove him wild. He checked that there was nobody outside, and sat down behind his office desk. Moist unzipped the fly of his golden suit, grasped his tallywhacker and started to fap. As he reached the vinegar strokes he was unable to stop himself calling out her name.

The Golem burst it though the doorway and was covered in a thick stream of the post-master's special adhesive.

"More Glue For The Stamps?" she enquired, "Would You Like Me To Put This In A Jar With The Rest?"

"No, Gladys." Said moist as he stood up, his dripping todger exposed for the world to see, "I want you to bend over this desk for me instead"

>>3
Why no, golem on human != dwarf on dwarf.

>>4

I was working on the assumption that OP doesn't just want dwarf on dwarf, variety is the spice of life after all.

>>5
variety is the spice of life
You're not thinking like a dwarf.

Hey, Carrot had sex. It was strongly implied, at least.

Isn't it enough for a werewolf and a vampire to wrestle naked in the mud?

I never thought walking into a Pratchett thread would make me cum so hard. Damn.

>>1
But I would really love it if there had been more than one character per every five books that had even seen their own genitalia
Yeah, every book must absolutely include sex. Right. Back to /b/, please.