Name: Anonymous 2008-07-20 1:49
First off, I have been writing this book, Angel's Gift, for about a year and a half now, and this is just the first chapter. It's the first book in a series of three, and I've done about 150 pages or so which is 3/4 of the way done with the first book. I know I'm a little far into it but any constructive criticism would still be appreciated (if you can find anything), but otherwise just enjoy this treet.
Chapter 1: Reminiscence I
"Damn... what time is it?" I crawled out of the place I was sleeping and looked for a way out of my living place so that I could look at the sky. The sky shined very dimly. I discerned by looking at the orange red sky that it was around 7 am. My living place wasn't really all that great. It was a small train cart by the train station graveyard along with other trains. The train cart wasn't greatly decorated and neither were there any ornaments in the cart. It was just a few of my belongings, food, and a hay stack. The cart was full of rust and tiny little bugs, which I didn't mind very much. My belongings weren't very glamorous and flashy. It was just a book bag with books, notebook spirals, pens and pencils, and clothes. My daily life would be spent going to school in the morning then come back to the train station and do some training. Training wasn't difficult rather it was just long. My morning at school wouldn't be troublesome since I would breeze through it. Books, homework, worksheets, and useless things thrown at my face and I would have to do all of them. The work wasn't really troublesome since it was easy for me. But others had a hard time going through all the work passed out. I can imagine their moaning and griping faces as they slowly finish their work. And even after they finish their work they had more stuff to do. The school I go to isn't a highly acknowledged genius school. However, unlike other students I’m the only one that's 17 years old that's a Sophomore of Tenerai University. Tenerai is an average school but it specializes in chemistry and other types of science. My afternoon would start after school was over around 5 pm and would last until 10 pm at night. Training would consist of physical exercise and studying chemical formulas and compounds as well as the elements of nature.
It's not known to the world yet but I'm actually a Synthesizer. A Synthesizer is a user of chemistry and magic, in a way. It's alchemy to the next level. We follow the chemical law of equivalent trade where mass is not lost in order to form a new object from an old material. However, in chemistry that's not true as part of the mass of an old material is used up as energy and released as heat. That is the fundamental law of Chemistry and Alchemy. Synthesis is a different method. By combining spiritual forces in one's body and an object, a person is able to utilize the elements of the world around him or her and create something in a different form or shape. Decomposition is not, however, all about putting things together as the name implies. Rather it has the ability to take things apart and just the end there. Alchemy has 2 parts when forming something. The first step is the decomposition method where it takes a material and breaks it apart. The second step is reconstruction where the broken down material is created into something new. In Synthesis, the steps can be made into just one so that it follows the 2-step physical change, or into 1-step decomposition.
Angels are very unique and very rare in the world. They are from ancient times since the beginning of creations. It was said that once a war waged between Angels and humans. Angels were the servants of god, however, 1/3 of the Angels rebelled and fell with Lucifer, the Devil. However, the Angels were not sent to Hell at first rather they were put to earth. These Angels were not all evil from heart. Some were good and contributed positive factors to the world. However, as some of the evil angels began to wreak havoc upon the world the angels were discriminated against and eventually a great war began. This war had many sacrifices and casualties. At last when the war had ended the angels were finally cast into Hell where they would be damned for eternity. Though the Angels were gone, they would leave a trace of their existence behind through women. It is said that Angels fell in love with human women. And as time went on the women's blood carried the powers of an Angel. Those born with the blood of Angel powers and awakened them would be called Synthesizers. And eventually that's how Synthesizers came to being. If this case is true then that must mean I was one of the long lines of angel descendants and am half angel, half human. However, this is just an old story told by generations of the past.
"Agh...." Kayah screamed. He was shaking and moving around the train frantically. He was shivering from the tip of his toes to the top of his head. He could not stop moving around. While he moved he was shoving himself to the wall while his hands clanged onto his head, perhaps to protect himself from injury. His eyes twitched and started to move his body in an odd motion. Kayah was suffering from his memories. Although he had a strong and an unyielding mind, Kayah had a weakness called memories and emotions. Kayah had left behind his past, however, it would always come back to haunt him to think about the one day where his life was ruined. And the memories would then exploit his ultimate weakness, emotions. Kayah banged all over the train cart walls and even started to jump around. His body still shaking and shivering seemed as though it could not handle any more trauma. However, those symptoms would be the beginning of his journey to his memories. His memories flashed from one scene to another and back to the same scene randomly skipping around trying to reveal something to him…
"Damn..... Damn....." Kayah was on his side lying down. One eye open and the other closed as he was blinded by the blood that was covering his face. Kayah was drenched with water that was now covering the floor from the hard rain that was pouring from the sky. Kayah lied there repeatedly cursing to himself. Half of his left arm was missing and was torn off; it was dripping blood and soaked with water which was agonizing Kayah with the purifying contents of the water mixing with his innards of his body from the destroyed arm. It was an excruciating pain. Kayah lying on the ground was motionless and looked as though he was dead, but he wasn’t. His eyes were only fixed on one thing that was in front of him. A girl with a gash that started from her shoulder across the chest to her waist. The fatal would had almost immobilized the girl and left her motionless. The girl still in her white school uniform was no longer white but now darkened with the color of death. Her blood had soaked into her shirt and skirt; her eyes started to lose color gazing through space and time. She had the composure of a dead woman. Even though she looked dead Kayah knew that she was still alive. Something from his spirit told him, he wasn't going to die and neither was she, not yet.
"Yuli, Yuli... Don't die, not yet." I whispered. I don't think my voice is going to make it to her considering this hard downpour is blocking out all weak noises. The rain didn't block out the annoying laughter and voice that was behind me. Seraph, a boy of my age, 13, led a terrorist organization in Union. I thought that I had killed him during my last mission… but I guess I was wrong…
Chapter 1: Reminiscence I
"Damn... what time is it?" I crawled out of the place I was sleeping and looked for a way out of my living place so that I could look at the sky. The sky shined very dimly. I discerned by looking at the orange red sky that it was around 7 am. My living place wasn't really all that great. It was a small train cart by the train station graveyard along with other trains. The train cart wasn't greatly decorated and neither were there any ornaments in the cart. It was just a few of my belongings, food, and a hay stack. The cart was full of rust and tiny little bugs, which I didn't mind very much. My belongings weren't very glamorous and flashy. It was just a book bag with books, notebook spirals, pens and pencils, and clothes. My daily life would be spent going to school in the morning then come back to the train station and do some training. Training wasn't difficult rather it was just long. My morning at school wouldn't be troublesome since I would breeze through it. Books, homework, worksheets, and useless things thrown at my face and I would have to do all of them. The work wasn't really troublesome since it was easy for me. But others had a hard time going through all the work passed out. I can imagine their moaning and griping faces as they slowly finish their work. And even after they finish their work they had more stuff to do. The school I go to isn't a highly acknowledged genius school. However, unlike other students I’m the only one that's 17 years old that's a Sophomore of Tenerai University. Tenerai is an average school but it specializes in chemistry and other types of science. My afternoon would start after school was over around 5 pm and would last until 10 pm at night. Training would consist of physical exercise and studying chemical formulas and compounds as well as the elements of nature.
It's not known to the world yet but I'm actually a Synthesizer. A Synthesizer is a user of chemistry and magic, in a way. It's alchemy to the next level. We follow the chemical law of equivalent trade where mass is not lost in order to form a new object from an old material. However, in chemistry that's not true as part of the mass of an old material is used up as energy and released as heat. That is the fundamental law of Chemistry and Alchemy. Synthesis is a different method. By combining spiritual forces in one's body and an object, a person is able to utilize the elements of the world around him or her and create something in a different form or shape. Decomposition is not, however, all about putting things together as the name implies. Rather it has the ability to take things apart and just the end there. Alchemy has 2 parts when forming something. The first step is the decomposition method where it takes a material and breaks it apart. The second step is reconstruction where the broken down material is created into something new. In Synthesis, the steps can be made into just one so that it follows the 2-step physical change, or into 1-step decomposition.
Angels are very unique and very rare in the world. They are from ancient times since the beginning of creations. It was said that once a war waged between Angels and humans. Angels were the servants of god, however, 1/3 of the Angels rebelled and fell with Lucifer, the Devil. However, the Angels were not sent to Hell at first rather they were put to earth. These Angels were not all evil from heart. Some were good and contributed positive factors to the world. However, as some of the evil angels began to wreak havoc upon the world the angels were discriminated against and eventually a great war began. This war had many sacrifices and casualties. At last when the war had ended the angels were finally cast into Hell where they would be damned for eternity. Though the Angels were gone, they would leave a trace of their existence behind through women. It is said that Angels fell in love with human women. And as time went on the women's blood carried the powers of an Angel. Those born with the blood of Angel powers and awakened them would be called Synthesizers. And eventually that's how Synthesizers came to being. If this case is true then that must mean I was one of the long lines of angel descendants and am half angel, half human. However, this is just an old story told by generations of the past.
"Agh...." Kayah screamed. He was shaking and moving around the train frantically. He was shivering from the tip of his toes to the top of his head. He could not stop moving around. While he moved he was shoving himself to the wall while his hands clanged onto his head, perhaps to protect himself from injury. His eyes twitched and started to move his body in an odd motion. Kayah was suffering from his memories. Although he had a strong and an unyielding mind, Kayah had a weakness called memories and emotions. Kayah had left behind his past, however, it would always come back to haunt him to think about the one day where his life was ruined. And the memories would then exploit his ultimate weakness, emotions. Kayah banged all over the train cart walls and even started to jump around. His body still shaking and shivering seemed as though it could not handle any more trauma. However, those symptoms would be the beginning of his journey to his memories. His memories flashed from one scene to another and back to the same scene randomly skipping around trying to reveal something to him…
"Damn..... Damn....." Kayah was on his side lying down. One eye open and the other closed as he was blinded by the blood that was covering his face. Kayah was drenched with water that was now covering the floor from the hard rain that was pouring from the sky. Kayah lied there repeatedly cursing to himself. Half of his left arm was missing and was torn off; it was dripping blood and soaked with water which was agonizing Kayah with the purifying contents of the water mixing with his innards of his body from the destroyed arm. It was an excruciating pain. Kayah lying on the ground was motionless and looked as though he was dead, but he wasn’t. His eyes were only fixed on one thing that was in front of him. A girl with a gash that started from her shoulder across the chest to her waist. The fatal would had almost immobilized the girl and left her motionless. The girl still in her white school uniform was no longer white but now darkened with the color of death. Her blood had soaked into her shirt and skirt; her eyes started to lose color gazing through space and time. She had the composure of a dead woman. Even though she looked dead Kayah knew that she was still alive. Something from his spirit told him, he wasn't going to die and neither was she, not yet.
"Yuli, Yuli... Don't die, not yet." I whispered. I don't think my voice is going to make it to her considering this hard downpour is blocking out all weak noises. The rain didn't block out the annoying laughter and voice that was behind me. Seraph, a boy of my age, 13, led a terrorist organization in Union. I thought that I had killed him during my last mission… but I guess I was wrong…