HAY GUYZ I HERD U LIEK SPOILEZ

* Voldemort kills Burbage on pg. 12

* A Death Eater kills Hedwig on pg. 56

* Mad-Eye is confirmed dead on pg. 78

* Scrimgeour is confirmed dead on pg. 159

* Wormtail's own silver hand kills him on pg. 471

* Dobby gets shanked on pg. 476

* Snape gets bitten on the neck by Nagini, dies on pg. 658
o Snape killed but did not pwn Dumbledore in the last book on Dumbledore's request, to keep Voldemort from using the power of the Elder Wand.
+ Draco pwned Dumbledore before Snape could, so the power of the Elder Wand went to Draco, not Snape.
# Harry pwned Draco, so the power went to him. But Voldemort thought Snape had pwned Dumbledore before Voldemort killed and pwned Snape so he thought he had access to the Elder Wand but he was wrong!

* Snape was a genuine good guy and loyal to Dumbledore, Harry, and Harry's mother Lily (who he loved) the entire time!

* Fred Weasley gets blown up, dies on pg. 637

* HARRY IS KILLED by Voldemort on pg. 704
o Hangs out with Dumbledore, comes back to life on pg. 724

* Voldemort gets killed by his own rebounding curse (like a TWAT) on pg. 744

* Tonks, Lupin, and Colin Creevy have their deaths confirmed on pg. 745

19 years after the events in the book:

*Ron has married Hermione, their two children are named Rose and Hugo

*Harry has married Ginny, their three children are named Lily, James, and Albus Severus.

* Draco Malfoy has a son named Scorpius and is going bald

The epilogue shows all of the children boarding the train for Hogwarts together.

The final lines of the book are:

* "The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well."

Now, if only Rowling would follow along in the list of deaths, then true justice would be achieved.  OK, I'm off to firebomb another Potter-featured bookstore in some effort to put a stop to all this insanity.

Can someone confirm or deny that DH was as convoluted and overdramatic as a Dorothy Dunnett novel?  Later Dunnett, that is.

She'd better release a short novel about the afterlife of the side characters or else she's FUCKED.

What the hell does she expect George to do?! Return to his shop ALONE?!

Fuck no. Percy had better become his new "funny bro" and take Fred's place, or else heads are rolling.

My book is 606 pages long, have I've been royally shafted or something?

All of the above happened within those pages though..

LOL 4chan failed to spoil me. Even though I went to Otakon and there were 1000 /b/tards there. I stayed away from all you spoilers.

>>4
Agreed.

"* A Death Eater kills Hedwig on pg. 56"

and harry then blows her up

I went to the bookstore on the night it got released, and me and my friend started discussing all the spoilers, so people got mad at us.
And when we got the book, we started reading the last page aloud.. and then people got even more mad at us!
Yes, Anon did it again :)

>>5
That's because you have the UK/Canadian version