Did you guys read the part about anal sex? Or that part about how Jesus made a transformer out of mud and sticks? I personally like the part where there's this old guy with a growth on his face. Dude, this guys like "I'ma goona rape all yer kids!" But Jesus whips out a chainsaw and cuts him in half!!!!!! Turns out the old guy was made of jellow possed by SATAN!!!!! So the tweleve and Jesus had some diabolic jellow that sunny day. All and all it's a good read. Especially the part about anal sex..........
"Gen 38-7:And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him. 8And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. 9And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also."
Can anyone honestly say that is not the most awesome shit in the bible ever? Seriously, the bible is cool, so long as you read it as the mythology it ultimately is. I read the bible quite a bit, but no more seriously than I do the Illiad or Norse sagas. People who live by abstract interpretations of mythology are idiots, but that doesn't invalidate the mythology itself.
New testament is shit though, because it's edited to be a doctrinal text rather than simply being mythology like the Old Testament.
>>8
Sounds like somebody's a little lonely and jealous.
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Anonymous2007-05-01 18:59 ID:uvjO2MRp
fuck you all
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Anonymous2007-05-01 21:06 ID:yW/D9DvW
lurk more
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Anonymous2007-05-02 6:30 ID:EdhuV9n3
Old testement was almost awesome if you can get past the fucking stupid lists of names.
I especialy liked the shit on Moses being the LORD's bitch and doing everything he said only to be tossed the fuck away at the end in favour of a younger sexier boy :D
The new testement sucked balls though it was way to hippie bullshit and not enough smiting and pillars of salt to be any good.
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Anonymous2007-05-06 19:43 ID:fSCWfcWH
Hippie shit? Revelations has a chunk of shiz that ye should check out, dude. All the sinners get ass raped in the end. Good read.
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Anonymous2007-05-07 18:11 ID:e1f/VNUq
The bible is a shit series. No continuity whatsoever between books and even chapters within individual books.
Jesus was either an absolute genius, or the son of a God. My opinion is that if you're so smart you're able to convince people you're a God, then you deserve to be a God.
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Anonymous2007-05-14 15:38 ID:CWUkY0Mp
if you are a god to someone, you are a god. bible is mostly a tale book. Tales that greedy "holy" men had customed to have the wanted effect on ignorant masses of people. The real effect is today's fucked up western world where everyone wants and wants and nobody even considers about giving. BTW didn't "god" say that don't praise any other images of god than god itself? Why the fuck are people bowing in front of crusified jesus christ :D stupid fucks :DD this world is so doomed
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Anonymous2007-05-14 16:29 ID:2YYHMRr5
>>16
That gives me an entire new outlook on the Bible, thank you sooo much. I'm going to go fap later.
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Anonymous2007-05-16 14:29 ID:tgn48HMh
The Bible had a couple of really interesting points, but reading is was kind of boring.
fsogswthe bowbiro was fken gay but i sese wyhe pwopl liket.
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Anonymous2007-05-25 3:03 ID:lsNYWC6k
I heard that the pope wants to start another inquisition. It's about fucking time, took em' long enough. Well......time to tear all you heathns a new one! Send my regards to Satan and all his home dogs.
Fuck off and have a nice day.
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Anonymous2007-05-25 12:55 ID:Q7pvg6en
Here's a good part!
Genesis 19:30-36, King James Version
And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth: Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
DELICIOUS FATHER-DAUGHTER INCEST
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Anonymous2007-06-04 0:00 ID:sbDYWzUU
ITS ALL COPYPASTA
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Anonymous2007-06-04 12:40 ID:7FAjJVEA
in teh beginin god made a planet. he worked 4 6 days until the 7th where jeseus said "dad give it a rest you look beat" and god said "lol k"
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Anonymous2007-06-07 2:08 ID:geCofh6e
The Bible, huh? Nice history, although if its edit history were known, it'd look like that of a sizable Wikipedia article.
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Anonymous2007-06-07 3:11 ID:FTs3FwOK
A very boring read. Even the scenes with genocide and slavery were boring. All the characters were one-dimensional and were identical. The ending made no sense at all and looked like it was inspired by some 'shrooms. As far as fiction goes, it fails.