[CYOA] Choose Your Own VIP Adventure!

The same thread exists on 4 different textboards now. You walk in to /vip/ from your slumber in the cave and decide what to do today.
To post QUALITY posts go to >>2
To JEWS JEWS to >>3
To make your way out of a neolithic slumber that is 4chan/vip/ go to >>241

This is way too complicated
Go back to >>1 to try understand how this works, or alternatively, go to >>57 to buy a gun and kill yourself because you are so fucking dumb