Grand World Martial Arts Tournament [Part 1]

Welcome to the Grand World Martial Arts Tournament, the greatest event of mortal combat on Earth. This contest gathers together the strongest m&m's and pits them against one another in no-holds-barred combat to the death. To continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species, the mightiest of all m&m's shall be determined.

Two candies enter the ring, selected by single elmination bracketing, and only one leaves. The loser's cracked and splintered shell shall be devoured immediately while the winner proceeds to the next round. These rounds of chocolateshed continue until only one Grand Worldwide Champion remains.

This tournament possesses a long and storied history. The first was held in the year two thousand eight anno domini. Above the ruined bodies of candies drawn from seven bags reigned one supreme champion: an orange dark chocolate m&m.

This master of the martial arts was secured in a plastic container and mailed to M&M Mars, a division of Mars Inc. for breeding purposes along with a note detailing its glorious exploits.

Now, more than four years have passed since that fateful day. The drums of war beat once again. The world's strongest march forth on a grim pilgrimage with determination in their sugar.

There can only be one.

I put the stale M&M in a stamped case and sent it to the corporation for "breeding purposes". Thus the green text M&M was born.

That's inhumane and wrong! We must stop this violence immediately.

The combatants have gathered at the tournament grounds. They are diverse, representing many colors, shapes, and sizes, for even strange candies from other manufacturers have joined the fray.

In the red bag: the classical aristocracy, the patrician race that started it all: Milk chocolate m&m's brand chocolate candies Made with Real Milk Chocolate in a festive Christmas display bag. The image adorning it features a stout red m&m clad in a thick Santa suit, a mighty belt, and heavy boots holds a present in one hand. His other reaches out as if to shake the hand of his opponent ceremoniously before a match. On his face, a confident, almost mocking expression of superiority. Net weight: 12.60 Oz. Total fat: 9g. Iron: 2% RDA. "THE MILK CHOCOLATE MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH - NOT IN YOUR HAND, MOTHERFUCKER"

In the purple bag: the returning champions, the reigning kings of candy combat, the fell warriors who plunged their opponents into darkness four years ago: Dark chocolate m&m's brand chocolate candies. This Christmas display bag features a sexy green female m&m in luxurious Santa robes making bedroom eyes, kissy lips, and beckoning with her hand while showing off her thighs. Dark chocolates get all the bitches. Net weight: 12.60 Oz. Total fat: 10g. Iron: 4% RDA, twice that of normal m&m's. "M&M'S Chocolate Candies are made of the finest ingredients. This product should reach you in excellent condition. Satisfaction guaranteed or we will replace it."

In the purple and yellow bag: the martial arts nuts, the heavy hitters, the ones with solid cores that won't melt period: Dark chocolate peanut m&m's brand chocolate candies. The bag displays a proud peanut icon along with blue and yellow m&m's. Blue climbs over the logo with a predatory expression while yellow appears to be laughing at his opponents. Net weight: 12.60 Oz. Total fat: 12g. Iron: 6%, as much as both regular and dark chocolate combined. The allergy information label warns that these peanut m&m's may contain almonds, unlike the warnings on the non-peanut bags which warned that they may contain peanuts.

In the blue bag: float like a butterfly, sting like a bee: m&m's brand minis chocolate candies Made with Real Milk Chocolate. These tiny m&m's bring a unique form factor to the ring. Will it prove to be an advantage over the dinosaur-like rivals? Will their agility, numbers and pinpoint attacks prevail? Net weight: 12.0 Oz, lightweight. Total fat: 9g. Iron: 2% RDA. "Always Fun"

Now that we've introduced the glorious warriors of Mars, bearing the name of the Roman god of war, it's time for the foreign candies of the dread Hershey Company.

In the orange bag: the delicious taste that wins over Extra Terrestrials as well as Earthlings: Reese's pieces candy in a crunchy shell. The straightforward bag displays images of candy on an orange background. Net weight: 15 Oz. Fat: 9g. Iron: 4% RDA. "Enjoy the Unmistakable Reese's Peanut Butter Taste in pieces"

In the chocolate colored bag: the naked berserkers whose trained bodies know no fear: Hershey's milk chocolate drops No candy shell - No mess. The mere sight of these obscene maniacs will shock any decent candy. Their exposed chocolate is heresy against the culture of m&m's and proof that some candies only want to watch the world burn. Net weight: 8 Oz. Fat: 12g. Iron: 2% RDA.

In the silver bag: the icy wrath of winter: York pieces Peppermint Flavored Dark Chocolate candy in a crunchy shell. Get the sensation! Net weight: 10.5 Oz. Fat: 8g. Iron: 6% RDA. Contains oil of peppermint. Allergy information May contain TREE NUTS. Tree nuts is in bold text.

Last but not least, in a purple Christmas themed bag featuring snowy slopes and evergreen trees: Cadbury solid milk chocolates with a crisp sugar shell. These spherical monsters are large and hard like the testicles of a bronze statue. Their absurd and terrifying bodies strike fear into the hearts of m&m's whose soft, delicate-shelled forms stand little chance against perfect spheres. Should these beasts even be allowed into the tournament? Isn't this like putting lions in the boxing ring? The lawsuits are already flying furiously.

What the flying fuck? Peanuts can't compete, that's not fair! They are way overpowered! That's like letting one boxer use brassknuckles while the other uses silly putty.

The time for preliminary exhibition matches has arrived! Each camp has sent representatives to the arena, and their grandmasters will watch carefully, searching for any weaknesses to exploit in the main tournament.

The York pieces bag unleashes a powerful peppermint aroma. This candy is the real deal.

Next, Hershey's drops enter the tournament. These big brown candies are about the same size as nickels, and three of them tower over the four peppermint pieces like elephant cocks. Their surfaces are solid and resilient, despite being raw chocolate. But how do they fare in the infamous "melt in your hand" test?

The sacrificial drop lasted a bit longer than expected. These are quite practical to eat by hand, at least on a wintry day like this. However, after several minutes of hot and heavy hand holding, it ended up looking like Shinji visiting a chocolate bar in the hospital. It was fairly tasty when licked up.

Four Reese's pieces enter the arena, followed by three of the dread Cadbury's monsters. The Cadbury's have powdery textures and rough, crude, barbaric shapes that lack the smoothness of civilized candies. Two of them bear battle scars on their brittle surfaces. Will these hairline fractures prove to be weaknesses, or are they proof that these savages won't fall apart under pressure?

Finally, the m&m's arrive. The master race. Four powerful peanut m&m's. Four measly  minis. And what's this? To the crowd's amazement, the dark and classic m&m's are all red and green! Nothing but Christmas colors! Their ceremonial uniforms are baffling observers who planned to use statistics from previous tournaments to identify the strong and weak m&m's!

PRELIMINARY FIGHT 1: RED M&M vs RED DARK CHOCOLATE M&M

The kickoff match pits the two iconic candies against one another. Their bright red coats shine and the crowd goes wild with anticipation. m to m, mano a mano, the moment has arrived.

DARK WINS! The milk chocolate m&m's shell shatters. A spiderweb of cracks turns deepens until its body separates into three pieces. Its tasty corpse is devoured. The victorious dark m&m, whose healthy shell bears only the slightest of scrapes and no structural damage, earns a seeded position in the main tournament.

PRELIMINARY FIGHT 2: BROWN MINI vs GREEN M&M

Will the tiny mini stand a chance against its massively larger opponent?

NO! The mini was crushed like a bug! It proved soft and weak.

PRELIMINARY FIGHT 3: BLUE PEPPERMINT vs YELLOW REESE'S PIECE

Peppermint prevails! The peanut butter patsy is parted in twain! The slightly larger peppermint proved harder as well. Will the larger candy win every match?

PRELIMINARY FIGHT 4: BROWN PEANUT M&M vs WHITE CADBURY'S

The absurd battle of beasts you've all been waiting for! Not fair, you say? This is war! The peanut-packed brass knuckles and the spherical savages are going head to head! However, the Cadbury's has a fractured shell. Is it really ready for battle?

It was not! The peanut crushes it! The Cadbury's shatters into a shower of sugary chunks!

PRELIMINARY FIGHT 5: BLUE PEANUT M&M vs GREEN DARK CHOCOLATE M&M

The massive blue peanut m&m towers over its opponent. How can the dark chocolate hero hope to survive against this overpowered ogre?

It's crushed brutally! It never stood a chance against the power of peanut. This is completely unfair!

PRELIMINARY FIGHT 6: WHITE PEPPERMINT vs RED DARK CHOCOLATE M&M

The peppermints pummeled the Reese's, but how will they fare against dark chocolate? The peppermints are larger and heavier with more pointed surfaces, so gamblers are putting their money on York.

What an upset! All hail the master race! Red Dark Chocolate turns its untermensch antagonist into a carpet of candy dust. What violence!

However, the glorious dark chocolate victor has sustained serious damage. Its shell has multiple cracks, and its days are numbered. Its heroic sacrifice shall be remembered.

PRELIMINARY FIGHT 7: HERSHEY'S DROP vs RED M&M

Now it's time to see how the naked obscenity of the colossal drops can perform against the far smaller but heavily armored classical m&m. Will sheer bulk prevail, or will the candy shell prove indispensable?

The drop absorbs massive amounts of damage without breaking. Its soft chocolatey body bends around the small m&m, withstanding great pressure that would shatter a more brittle candy. However, this defensive deformation deprives it of the destructive force needed to break through the enemy's armor. The m&m's candy shell remains intact as it burrows through the drop, ripping and tearing its large guts until the drop is cut in two.

PRELIMINARY FIGHT 8: YELLOW PEANUT vs THE WORLD

Let's find out just how strong these peanut punks are! The yellow peanut shall face a gauntlet featuring one of each type of opponent!

1: Orange Reese's Piece: The Reese's is shattered effortlessly by the behemoth.
2: Yellow mini: Crushed like a bug!
3: Drop: After several seconds of sumo-style savagery, the drop is split in half!
4: Blue peppermint: Blue is butchered! Peppermint peppers the pavement.
5: Green dark chocolate: Yellow peanut once again shatters its enemy with ease.
6: Green Cadbury's: The brittle shell of the Cadbury's shatters instantly. However! However! The sheer weight of its chocolate bulk applied enough pressure to crack the exhausted peanut pugilist's protection! Peanut goes into its final battle with a huge gash open on its side!

7: Final Battle: Green milk chocolate m&m

The peanut has been defeated! Its shell shears off and the chocolate-lubricated peanut core allows the smaller m&m to slide across, tearing the chocolate covering away and launching the green m&m into the crowd. There were no casualties. Green remains intact and ready for the next round, but the peanut's exposed nut will be devoured.

dadsa

test12412

Rape the candies!

I'm already raping the candles with my butt.