I'm a huge penis.

People carry me around and wave me at people, sometimes in their faces. I think it's embarrassing, but I feel like there's nothing I can do.
Please help me, 4chan. I feel like I just want to crawl up inside a vagoo and never come back out again. Is there anything I can do?

I think I know how you feel, huge penis. I'm a tight vagoo, and every weekend foreign objects are shoved into me, by strange people whom I don't know. They open me up and even take pictures.
Oh, how I wish I could be with you, huge penis. Although there's not that much space here, I would try to make room for you to crawl up inside me. Maybe together we can find happiness?