>>1
First you need to make sure you're not gay.
For this you need to buy an anal dildo and some lube.
Before starting, you should make sure to take a shit if you need it, so that there's no poo in your anus obstructing your prostate gland.
Now spread a towel on the bed just in case the lube drips, lube the dildo up and lie down on the bed, and gently start massaging your anal with it. If you're heterosexual male, this shouldn't excite you in any way.
After a while your anal will slowly begin to loosen up. When it does, slowly apply more pressure, very slowly trying to insert the anal dildo into your anus. Again, if this feels more than like simply taking a shit, or if you get a firm hard-on, you might be gay.
When you have comfortably inserted the dildo all the way, and you feel it touching your prostate gland, note if it makes you feel feminine in any way. Clench your anus around the firm dildo. Then begin to massage your prostate gland with it. If you start feel pleasure at this point and a need to fap, you're definitely gay, and should go to church to repent.