Would you like to purchase cat on the table?

Here at News for VIP, we carefully train each and every cat to sit perfectly on a table.
Hours of work are put into this special technique.
Our cats will only sit on the tables, and will never sit upon your carpet or couch.
You'll never have to bother with moving your cat around again.
As an added bonus, you'll receive a free table with your cat.
The tables are beautifully decorated and crafted with the finest timber.
Surely you would want a table cat?
It's a fantastic gift for any one.

Table? Tables? Why is it not pan? I wish to cook cat. In my country cat sit on fire and get cook not on table.