We are
>>1's intestinal bacteria.
We are really frustrated by
>>1's diet! He never eats healthy; everything is always fast food or children's cereal, and he takes in huge amounts of high fructose corn syrup even though he's allergic to it and gets the shits within minutes of eating. It's hard enough breaking down this crap all the time even when we aren't being forcibly evacuated along with the corn syrup-induced diarrhea every hour on the hour.
We are also certain that his horrible diet is responsible for his delirium. Whenever he loses his grip on sanity, he starts posting on VIP. Each post is more insane and irrelevant than the last, and
>>1 keeps going until the gurgling in his belly starts up again.
Please, for all our sakes, teach
>>1 to eat healthy food. We will be able to do our jobs better, and he will become a sane and valuable member of society once again. His posts will regain their former value, and he will be a productive member of VIP.