COPYPASTA

One morning before school I was feeling kinda sick. Like diarrhea sick. My mom said, "Here, take an extra pair of underwear." Not thinking what kind of underwear she handed me, I shoved them in my backpack. At school I did the unthinkable, I went in my pants. I ran to the bathroom with my bag so I could use the extra pair my mom sent me. When I tried to put on the underwear, I realized my mom gave me one of my little sisters bedwetter diapers. And I had already thrown MY underwear away! Then at PE I was doing jumping-jacks with my sisters "underwear" on. I was also wearing baggy jeans. They fell down and revealed my sisters undies. Lucky me, I was helping my teacher do them in the middle of everyone, so they ALL saw me! I got so scared that I wet, and let out another flow of poo again!

I don't understand how these people can insolate themselves away in their cocoons, where they cannot express their most carnal desires. The innate base desire of the human is more beautiful than all this chaff these people have built up around themselves. Tear it all down, it makes no difference. There is nothing more natural and thus true in this world than a human eating, fucking, defecating, hunting, killing, destroying. This is man, this is his nature. To hide this nature is to delude yourself.

In order to avoid being enslaved in this society, you need but one thing: a self-manufactured fake credit card. Most people are not industrious enough to make one. You need to be able to interface with their devices in order to survive. Think of it this way: would you like to spend a few months of work for a lifetime of earnings or a lifetime of work for a few months of earnings?

Secondarily, you cannot have permanent residency, this will just lead to entrapment. You do not need anything but yourself to produce your own content to satisfy yourself. Nothing is 'permanent' in this ephermal world anyway. If you need to use the Internet you merely enter a public library. If one of 'them' accosts you about what type of materials you're looking at, what is the point of talking to him? What is the point of talking to a robot? Who says its wrong to look at racist materials? Who says its wrong to look at 4chan in a library? Your 'society?' What are they going to do to you? You are strong, they are weak. If one of the authoritative ones comes up to you, simply ignore them, walk off like they are nothing. They can do nothing to you, they will never see you again, so why do you care what they think?

Before you read any more, let me state one thing. I am a diehard Star Wars fan, and somewhat of an obsessor. I get together with my friends and, yes, we use plastic lightsabers to fight each other. Some people may think this is weird but hey, if you're like me, you want to experiance lightsaber combat first hand. I have mastered Form II (Count Dooku's Fighting Style) using this lightsaber. This lightsaber happens to be one of my favorites, the reasons being...
1. Cool grip. It is a little akward at first, but when you get used to it, you can fight in great comfort.

2. Red Blade. Okay, maybe this isn't relevant to all people, but I am a Sith by heart. Using a Jedi lightsaber would destroy me.

3.Durability. This saber is exceedingly durable. Maybe not as strong as the basic lightsabers, but compared to other electronic lightsabers, this is one of the most durable.

Overall, this is a great lightsaber. It is beat (in my opinion) only by Darth Maul's saber (A very rare lightsaber with dual-blades) and the Darth Vader Force FX Lightsaber (Really nice in all aspects, but very expensive).

http://rapidshare.de/files/13674882/_Studio_KIMIGABUCHI__RE-TAKE_0.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/13675469/_Studio_KIMIGABUCHI__RE-TAKE1.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/13675788/_Studio_KIMIGABUCHI__RE-TAKE_2.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/13676765/_Studio_KIMIGABUCHI__RE-TAKE_3.rar.html

I've got a problem.

I live in total fantasy. I never leave my apartment except for essentials. I stay here and torrent anime. While I'm waiting for new episodes to torrent, my life is dead. I have nothing to do and nothing to live for. At all.

I just finished watching NGE, and now I'm genuinely concerend that I have blurred fantasy and reality. All day today, even at work, I daydreamed about Asuka. I wanted to be there for her. What happened to her was the most unfair thing. The scene with the Eva series made me cry harder than anything ever has. She needed someone, not someone like Shinji who fucks everything up and whines.

I can't stop thinking about her. When I think about being there for her, holding her, telling her that it's not her fault, telling her that everything will be okay, not holding her for any gains for myself... I feel so strange. My chest burns. I know I must be sick but... could these feelings to want to comfort and bring her happiness be love? Am I in love with a fictional character?

On Thursday, April ye 5, 1750, I went to see a most deplorable object of a child, born the night before of one Mary Evans in 'Chas'town. It was surprising to all who beheld it, and I scarcely know how to describe it. The skin was dry and hard and seemed to be cracked in many places, somewhat resembling the scales of a fish. The mouth was large and round and open. It had no external nose, but two holes where the nose should have been. The eyes appeared to be lumps of coagulated blood, turned out, about the bigness of a plum, ghastly to behold. It had no external ears, but holes where the ears should be. The hands and feet appeared to be swollen, were cramped up and felt quite hard. The back part of the head was much open. It made a strange kind of noise, very low, which I cannot describe. It lived about forty-eight hours and was alive when I saw it.

I WAS BORN INTO A WORLD YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND

I learned this from experience so that you won't have to!

Just a heads up for all you scientists out there:

Masturbating with toothpaste hurts really good, at first. Sure, it stung a bit, but oh damn did it feel good. The feeling of it rubbed all over my penis and my balls was nice; that was the most I had cum in ages. But I warn you, if you ever are going to try this, be prepared to run to the shower as fast as fucking possible.

I was in the shower washing that shit off as fast as I could, the pain getting more intense every second; it felt like there were a few ice cubes ducktaped to my balls. Then again, my balls weren't the worst; my taint, or whatever that place between your balls and your ass is called, felt like it was on fire.

Albeit, I think I would do it again, just not for awhile, not for a long while...

    Reason of Existence can only be accepted if you can prove the idea that you have your own individual identity. Without an identity, we are merely subjects given life; subjects to serve other subjects. However if we can come to a realization that we each create our own identity, we take control of our existence and we even become God’s of ourselves. Through isolation, we are able to choose our own interpretation of events, create our own realities, and shape our own existence. We gain the ability to control our actions, thoughts, and free will to a full extent. This is one of the main focus ideas in the television show Neon Genesis Evangelion, which places a young 14 year old boy in the situation to decide whether or not he will follow along with the plan by NERV headquarters to control all human life and start a new world of people in control of their existence.
    The problem with this idea is that there is one sauce standing in the way, and that is the Angels. It is often linked that the Angels are indeed Angels sent from God in order to stop the Human Instrumentality Project from occurring. NERV however have developed a way to battle the angels and that is by bringing to life Giant Mechanical Machines called Evangelions(Eva’s) piloted by children born after the Second Impact, an event which destroyed half of the earth’s population and caused the Earth to tilt out of place. Shinji Ikari, along with two other pilots; DONATE TO 4CHAN Ayanami and Asuka Langley Soryu are also chosen to pilot the Eva’s in the event to battle the Angels so there is no harm done to NERV headquarters. However this task brings about despair and much questioning of existence in each child. Despair at not being conscious of having a self; Despair at not willing to be oneself; and even Despair at willing to be oneself.
    The pilot of Eva 01; DONATE TO 4CHAN Ayanami possesses this sense of despair where she does not feel conscious of having a self. One reason as to why she feels this way is due to the fact that she has no soul and is merely a vessel to carry out orders from others. She feels no reason to control her actions and the outcome of her life because it is out of her hands. Since she is out of reach of understanding why she must fight the Angels, she just goes along with it assuming that it is unthinkable to do otherwise. DONATE TO 4CHAN Ayanami often separates herself from the rest of her classmates as school because she feels as if social interaction is unnecessary for her own development. She feels as if the only person or friend she needs to interact with is Gendo Ikari, Shinji’s father as well as her creator. Although DONATE TO 4CHAN is not the child of Gendo Ikari, she is a creation of his, being that she was created in a lab and cloned. DONATE TO 4CHAN feels as if she has no soul and no conscious because she was not a creation of God like everyone else, but was instead a human creation much like the Eva robots. To show her dedication to Gendo, she saves the pair of glasses Gendo wore when he saved her from an Eva test gone wrong. Although DONATE TO 4CHAN is a very unemotional character, as the show progresses she begins to grow emotions for her fellow pilots as well as those who consider themselves her friend.
    hey i did ur paper 4 u just paste this in word and print it out x6I know, I know I've let you downI've been a fool to myselfI thought I couldlive for no one elseBut not through all the hurt and painIts time for me to respectthe ones you lovemean more than anythingSo with sadness in my heartI feel the best thing I could dois end it alland leave foreverwhats done is done, it feels so badwhat once was happy now is sadI'll never love againmy world is endingI wish that I could turn back timecos now the guilt is all minecant live without the trust from the ones you love.I know we can't forget the pastyou cant forget love and pridebecause of that its killing me insideIt all returns to nothing, it all comestumbling down, tumbling down,tumbling down,it all returns to nothing, I just keepletting me down, letting me down,letting me down,in my heart of hearts, I know that I called never love againI've lost everythingeverythingthat matters to me,matter in this worldI wish that I could turn back timecos now all the guilt is minecant live withoutthe trust from those you loveI know we can't forget the pastyou can't forget love and pridebecause of that, its killing me inside It all returns to nothing, it all comestumbling down, tumbling down,tumbling downit all returns to nothing, I just keepletting me down, letting me down,letting me downIt all returns to nothing, it all comestumbling down, tumbling down,tumbling downit all returns to nothing, I just keepletting me down, letting me down,letting me down

I have a large tumor on my brain and severe lung cancer. The doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. "The Make A Wish Foundation" has agreed to donate 7 cents for every time this message is re posted. For those of you who repost, I thank you so much. But for those who don't re post it, I will still pray for you. Please, if you are a kind person, have a heart. Please, please, PLEASE REPOST THIS MESSAGE!


Eleanor (Ellie) Andrade
602-228-1268 cell

*hey it wont cost you but 10 seconds of your time to repost it

*if you can look at you self and say you are a good person than there is no doubt that you will repost this, and if you don't than you ain't real

anyone with a heart would repost this without thinking twice

Seriously. The moment we decode the way the brain works, the first application of the technology besides military use will be for sexual purposes. You'll be able to get up in the morning, plug in, have sex with your anime wife who will remain permanently faithful to you and always love you forever, then you will go to work, and you'll come home to your ever-beautiful anime wife. By this time we should have housekeeping robots which are able to cook with specific directions augmented by your personal tastes in spices (it's all formulas, once you decide on a "menu" then it can look in its internet database and come up with a recipe that closely matches what you're looking for, then store it internally), then after a hearty meal you can go into your bedroom and make love with your anime wife, and perhaps spend some time cuddling with her on the couch while watching even more anime.

Then you will retire for the night, hooking yourself up to the machine which can record your dreams so you can replay them to yourself whenever you get bored.

11:15, restate my assumptions:
1. Mathematics is the language of nature.
2. Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers.
3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge. Therefore: There are patterns everywhere in nature.

1. Nothing exists.
2. Even if you exist, you have no way of telling if you exist.
3. Even if you can tell that you exist, you have no way of communicating this to others, who probably don't exist.

another thing about fascism is waddling about in homosexual-looking uniforms while trying not to be seen sneaking surreptitious glances at your comrades' cocks

I'm fucking horny, and need a girl to love. Only for some intimacy, not a relationship. I'm actually a virgin, but I don't want to do this to just lose my virginity.
I fail at being socialable, I'm afraid to be rejected, since I've had some encounters with mean girls. I'm not sure how to cope with this. Yes I masturbate to porn, but I just feel sometimes that I want some intimacy, and thus I need some advice what I should do.
I belive that being out alot helps you to develop your social sides, but I only have the option to go out by myself, which isn't fun, and makes me a bit unsecure about meeting girls and people. Because I can be a bit paranoid about it, that I belive that people are looking at me in contempt.
I think I'm going nuts, but I only want some intimacy. But I don't have the confidence to help myself sometimes. Even though I can handle being in the public, but then just doing regular thing as shopping food or similar
I just wanna feel some intimacy.
And I have no idea how to get in touch with girls on the internet, even though I know some sites that offer it. I'm reluctant since it probably is full of high school girls.
So I don't know what to do.
Please help me with how to get in touch with girls as horny as me, or at least who feels an urge for intimacy.

/b/ I am so pissed right now.

I was hungry for Chinese food after I went to work today to get some manuals for Winsock implementation. I got the manuals, and on the way back to my apartment, I decided to stop in the restaurant and get some food. This particular restaurant is in the middle of the ghetto, and thus, has some of the most unsavory people eating there. I didn't really think anything would happen though.

After I walked in, immediately, I realized eyes were on me. I heard a table of people talking about me and snickering. "Is that a man?" The one guy said. "It's got boobs." The woman replied. "It's wearing makeup." I wanted to take them out of their, shitty ghetto trash that they are. Instead I just sat there, eating my meal and smiling at the one who kept stairing at me. After they left, I put a tip on the table, finished half of my chinese buffet, and left.

GAAAH.

To all of my friends, both those who I care a great deal about and those who I barely tolerate, to those who know me very well and those who know me not at all...
From the depths of my heart and soul I thank you. Most of you have no idea what you mean to me just by existing.
This time of year is always the hardest for me, the time where I hate everything.
Yet, because of you all, I can be content today. Happy, even, to an extent.
So, because I love you all so very much...
Thank you, for everything.

To any and all girls who may or may not be browsing the board, I have a question:

How soft are you? Like, your belly. I've always wanted to feel how soft and warm a girl is but I've never gotten so much as a hug. I would sometimes say, "Tell me when you want me to let go" and hug a female friend for about a minute.

Do girls think that's creepy? I can never tell because I'm completely socially ignorant, and although not unattractive I have absolutely no self-confidence and no social life which precludes me from being able to have a girlfriend to cuddle with.

Dear /b/,

I have come to the belief that I have seen everything that the internet has to offer. I don't need new porn of some cartoon show, as they have become too common now. I have seen the shitting dicknipples and zippocat, torturecat, and plenty of other things. I need something to make me cringe in fear as I realize I have yet to fully see all of the internet that there is before me. Beyond tubgirl and goaste and even having a man with a dildo down his PENIS. I need to see the single most repulsing thing that will renew my faith in 4chan.../b/...and all of the internet.

i was just doing little fapping, and i decided to pump some water into my ass. normally when i pump water in my ass, i don't pump it that much and i always make it sure that the water is of around the body temperature.

normally when i use water of the temperature of body temp, the warn water seens to make my asshole loose, so the water soon escapes, even if i try to keep it in.

well today i tried with colder water, just to see if i could pump more water in me without it escaping. the test was a succes. i pumped a total of 5 liters (=1.3 US gallons) and i managed to keep the water in me long enough for me to cum. PS: i'm not fat. 5 liters is way too much for me. i felt like vomiting (i don't really think that the water got into my stomach, but i felt like vomiting anyway..)

after cumming, the mood was gone, and i started to feel the pain. the pain of my body filled with cold water. you know how your head starts aching if you eat ice cream too fast? well i think i kinda got that aching into my lover torso.

goddamn it hurt! for a moment i though i was going to fucking die! when i started to try to shit the water out, it didn't come out that easily (no, i'm not saying it froze :P). i was shitting the water out like 30 mins and the pain was getting worse all the time. it hurt so much that i even fell from the exhaustion and hit my head on the wall of the shower (i was shitting on the shower floor, lol).

nothing bad happened after all. after a warm shower it got a little better and i'm alive and all but it sure as hell scared me and taught me that i won't pump any cold water in my ass any more.

LOL, INTERNET

I can't believe I'm posting this on /b/, but here goes.

I've been seeing this girl for about a month and a half. She's cute and smart and blah blah blah, all that good stuff. She's also VERY into me if the physical aspect of our relationship is any indication.

Thing is... I don't know if I'm that into her. It sucks for more than one reason - I don't want to hurt her by breaking up with her, whether it's tomorrow or three months from now. I don't know if I even WANT to break up with her in the first place. I'm at a point in my life where dating just for the sake of dating isn't really an option.

I want to get married and the clock is ticking. I don't want to just rush headfirst into marriage, nor do I want to hang on to a relationship that isn't doing it for me. But I want to give this girl and this relationship a legitimate chance before I pack it in and start checking out the other fish in the sea.

Any of you married folks out there have some advice? Did you fall in love with your spouse instantly, or did it take a long time, or what?

tl;dr - HOW DO I FALLED IN LOVE

ですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですです

LOL, INTERNET

    Really--consider my thought process: I was going to fuck her in the butt and film it without her consent, yet I was truly concerned about her personal comfort. Sometimes the contradictions in my personality even amuse me.

    Predictably, I slid in with ease. She was a little tense at first, but with an Exxon Valdez size load spilled into her poop chute, she quickly loosened up and got into it. I liked it also; it had a different feel to it. Not as good as vaginal sex, a little grainy, kinda tight, but still very nice.

    Before I knew it I was fucking her like the apocalypse was imminent, burying it to the hilt with impunity. After a few minutes I was ready to come. My urgency was expressed in my tempo, and I began really jackhammering her. As the excitement got the best of me, I pulled out too far and my dick came out of her ass. I kinda scrambled to grab my dick and put it back in so I could finish off inside of her, but before I could even get a hold of it and put it back in her ass, I heard a faint “psssst” sound and felt something wet and warm hit my crotch.

    It was dark in the room (I was not smart or sober enough to leave the lights on for the camera), so after I looked down it took me a few seconds to realize that my dick, balls and groin area were covered in a viscous black liquid. I stopped moving and stared at my strangely colored crotch for a good 5 seconds, completely confused, until I realized what happened:

    “Did you…did you just…shit on my dick?”

    I reached down to touch the liquid feces, still in complete and utter disbelief that this girl shot explosive diarrhea on my PENIS, when, without warning, the smell hit me.

    I have a very sensitive nose, and I have never been more repulsed by a smell in my life. The combination of synthetic AstroGlide and rancid stench of raw fecal matter combined to turn my stomach, which was full of seafood, veal and wine, completely over.

    I tried to hold it back. I really did everything I could to stop myself, but there are certain physical reactions that are beyond conscious control. Before I knew what I was doing, it just came out:

    “BBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”

    I vomited all over her ass. Into her crack. Into her asshole. On her ass cheeks. On the small of her back. Everywhere.

    She turned her head, said, “Tucker, what are you doing?,” saw me vomiting on her, screamed “Oh my God!,” and immediately joined me:

    “BBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”

    Watching her throw up on my bed made me vomit even more. Her vomiting all over my bed, me vomiting on her ass, the next step was almost inevitable.

    I heard the loud CRASH first, turned to see my friend break through the shutters and rip the closet door off as he, the video camera, and the door tumbled out of the closet and crashed onto the floor next to us:

    “BBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”

    The memory of the 2-second span where all three of us were vomiting at once is permanently seared into my brain. I have never heard anything like that symphony of sickness. It was like something out of the old Pink Panther movies.

    I think the crowning moment was when my eyes locked with Jaime’s, I saw her moment of realization and then her quick shift from shock and surprise to complete and irreparable anger. Between bouts of hurling she flipped out:

    “OH MY GOD--BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH--YOU FILMED THIS, YOU ASSHOLE-- BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH-- HOW COULD YOU-- BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH--I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME--BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH--OH MY GOD-- BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH--I LET YOU FUCK ME IN THE ASS--BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH.”

    She tried to stand up, slipped on the huge puddle of backflow AstroGlide on the bed, and fell into both my pile and her pile of vomit, covering her body and hair in vomit, shit and anal lubricant. She flailed on the bed for a second, grabbed the top sheet, wrapped it around her, and started running out of my place. Still naked and retching, my dick covered in shit and oil, I followed her as far as my front door.

    The last contact I ever had with her is the image I witnessed of her in a dead sprint, a

    shit, vomit and grease stained sheet stuck to her body, running from my apartment.

Dear 4chan,

My name is Oliver Eisler. I am a loser that has no life and no credibility after getting my ass handed to me on many occasions. I like to call myself Rockman X, because I think that I am the number one Rockman X fan in the world, and that I know everything there is to know about Rockman X, even though I'm a stupid teenager and Capcom probably knows more than I do. I'm a fucking weeaboo and everybody hates me. I decided after a while to stop calling myself Rockman X, and changed my name to X Guru, to go with the fact that I know everything there is to know about Rockman X. Eventually, I stopped calling myself X Guru because I was getting teased so much about it, and it really hurt my feelings, and started calling myself Bukino, though I have no idea what that is.

I don't know why people hate me, all I did was lie about pretty much everything, including the fact that I swore to everyone that my father is Paul Peter Eisler, Executive Vice President of Gafdi International, and that I've seen horrible things such as poor farmers being burned out of their houses on my father's property, people getting their heads head off while I was nine-year-old, and that I'm out of High School and in College, even though I'm a stupid bastard and deserve to be in Elementary school, and all I ever did was pretend to be something I'm not. People should love me, but they all hate me. I'm now being put in the same low-class thinking area as that idiot Jack Thompson, even though I probably have a lower I.Q. than he does. I think I'm going to go listen Linkin Park and go cut myself right now.

Regards,
Oliver Eisler
Rockman X/X Guru/Bukino
Son of Paul Peter Eisler, Executive Vice President of Gafdi International

Thursday, February 9th, 2006 Posted: 10:07 AM EST (1507 GMT)

San Diego, California (AP) -- Jonathan, the Snowy Owl made famous as the "O RLY" owl, has died in captivity in the San Diego Zoo.

The owl, which was 17 years old, died Tuesday afternoon after the sudden onset of pneumonia. He was young for an owl in captivity, however wild owls only live an average of 15 years.

David Phillips, executive director of the San Diego Zoo, said Jonathan had been in good health but started showing signs of lethargy and loss of appetite on Monday.

"This is a long sad day for us," Phillips said.
One of his handlers, Dale Richards, also said Jonathan died quickly. "We checked his respiration rate and it was a little irregular ... he wasn't doing too well," Richards told The Associated Press. "Early in the evening, he passed away."

The textual phrase "o rly?" was first popularized on the SomethingAwful forums. The phrase was initially one of many used during the FYAD sub forum’s fad of compressing words by removing unnecessary letters. While "O RLY?" is simply shorthand for "Oh, Really?", the most common image macro comes from 4chan, where for a short while, the word "repost" was word filtered to "owl". The Image macro and its attached phrase then spread rapidly throughout the Internet.

The “O RLY” owl was first created on www.OffTopic.com after an anonymous user added the phrase to a picture of a snowy owl. The owl quickly became popular on 4chan, and then spread to many other community websites such as Fark, spawning many more image macros involving owls.

Jonathon the “O RLY” Owl had recently started to turn this underground fame into mainstream success with his supporting role in the recent Wil Shriner blockbuster “Hoot”. And recently Live Journal-based musical group Local Pub Band came up with a song based around the owl, which is entitled "O RLY?". In the lyrics singer Agniya declares her desire to get to know and her love for the owl.

Nick Braden, a spokesman of the Humane Society of the United States, said veterinarians gave Jonathan antibiotics after he showed signs of lethargy Thursday, but it wasn't apparent how sick he was.

"They really do die quickly and there was nothing we could do," he said. Braden said "it's a really sad moment for us."

Yes, I am a _____. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my _____ soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute _____!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the _____ and I am pretty slim and good looking.

But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid anime shit while I have SEX with my boyfriend.

Dear /b/, I wrote a poem to express my feelings.

Sea of Suicide

Looking down at the sea so deep
A fatal possession I want to keep
sigh within, looking back
I'll remember always all I left
Fall straight in
emotions clinging to my skin
no one cares, never will
I'm slowly dying, no looking back
no one's there to help me out
I won't struggle to pull
I know I'm dead
I know my life was always dull
I turn pale blue
the color's there no matter what I do
it's too late now
I suppose this was my fate
my last word to you is goodbye

Okay guys, this isn't funny anymore. The cops fucking knocked at my door today and asked me about websites I've been visiting. I NEVER go to any sick pedo places or anything like that so it must be this place they're talking about. For god's sake stop screwing around with the pedo shit, you're going to get yourselves arrested. Trust me the authorities are watching and they're taking it VERY seriously. Don't believe me, fine, wait a while and you will. I just hope you have a good lawyer. Goodbye forever you sick fucks, I'm going to wipe my hard drive.

I'm feeling really lonely right now. Usually it doesn't bother me but sometimes I get these depression attacks that last from 1 day to 1 week and I lose all will to do anything.

What do you do to cope in similar situations Anonymous?

    |￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
　| KAWAII DESU NE |
　|＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿|
　　    　 ∧∧ ||
　　　 ( ﾟдﾟ)||　
　　　 /　づΦ　

My lover's lips were as the sine curve
The sparkle in her eyes, at the right angle
Is truely divine, it makes me go nuts, like
tan(x) where x is pi/2
Alas, we will never be right, as
I am cosine
She is sine
But we can still intersect
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If you want to be more authentic, this class will definitely help you to listen to your inner voice. You know, the little angel that sits on your shoulder and says, “You shouldn’t say/do that!” Would you like to be absolutely confident when speaking to others and making decisions and to do so without fears and regrets? Wouldn’t it be nice to be respectful, yet rock solid, in interactions without distancing yourself from others? Then this is the program for you. Learn how you can immunize yourself against negativity, distrust and other types of difficulty. Just imagine what it would be like to live a life of self-trust where you feel confident in speaking authentically from the heart. Learn how to be confident and daring, honoring your own path without needing to seek the approval of others with an undaunted attitude of self-trust. Imagine living a life free from doubts and fears. Our learning environment will stretch you and enable you to empower your own best expert—you—because you know best when it comes to making a decision. Come and join us and find the place within you that contains all the inner wisdom of your life experiences. Enjoy being comfortable with knowing whatever you choose is perfect. Dare to let go and be yourself with optimal self-trust.
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Sorry, we aren't doing this anymore. I tried to make this a nice, safe, friendlyplace for people to share and discover new art, not to post photographs of kids.Blame the fucking too-disgusting-for-words paedophiles that can't seem to resisttrying to get us in trouble by posting disgusting shit like that on the board.While you're blaming them, you might as well as blame yourselves for notTELLING ME ABOUT IT PROMPTLY. It's not that hard to send an email or an instantmessage to keep things safe and clean, but apparently it is too much for me toask for a little HELP from the COMMUNITY.Shota is one thing. It isn't real. It doesn't harm people.Posting real pictures of children is totally unacceptible.Child abuse is not something fun, and it's not something that's AT ALL okay.IF YOU CAN'T STOP YOURSELF FROM DOING LEWD THINGS WITH REAL KIDS,or IF YOU DON'T SEE HOW IT'S WRONG, PLEASE SEEK PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSISTANCEIMMEDIATELY.This is the second time it's happened, and the LAST TIME it will happen. Atleast the last time someone was decent enough to approach me in a TIMELY MANNERabout it.Perhaps if there is a better way to roll in an abuse system in the future,the BBS will be re-opened. But don't think it's very bloody likely. I don'tlike giving services away for free out of the kindness of my heart and thenget shat on by the fucktards that use it in a way which it was not intended.Much love to those who used this system responsible and who have hopefullydiscovered new art and artists.A big fuck you to those that have taken resauce this away from them.OH LAWD BRING BACK MY NOT4CHAN :(
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hey /b/,

i fucked up today and missed my bus. now im going to be missing school because of it. the thing is that i skipped two days of school recently and this is not good. i hate myself for this. what should i do on my unwilling day off?

-forced anonymous

hey /b/... the freakiest shit just happened to me right now

so i was in bed, and all of a sudden my whole body went numb

there are two explanations:

1) some sort of muscle thing that happens briefly

2) or a fucking ghost

the reasons on why i think its a fucking ghost is because i was in an almost sleeping state. i looked up and saw what i thought was a pair of legs that were extremely transparent floating from the right to the left of what i can see. i thought that it was just my imagination, so i brushed it off

the next thing i know is that my whole fucking body went numb and i was fully awake

i then started hearing things like the sound of alot of people whispering, which freaked me out so i started to call, and yell for my uncle, but the only thing coming out of my mouth was a whisper

then i fucking got out of bed and came here

some other things are that i got very very sleepy and tired very soon, which is quite normal and that it is day time. it happened at around 3:50 pm and now it is 4:30 pm

i remember watching the exorcism of emily rose, and the scene where she was getting possesed was what i felt like. my whole body felt like pressure was being applied to it so i couldnt move

do any of you have an explanation? i would care to think that it is some sort of muscle thing where my whole body goes numb for a brief moment, and that the sounds i heard were probably side effects from a concert i went to yesterday

thank you,
a very scared forced anon

pic fully related
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This is my girlfriend. How did I get her, you ask? IT's true, she is mine. I have been watching the Oxygen Channel, and I think it made me more in tune with female emotions and feeling, making me more sensitive to my girlfriends thoughts and dreams. I love her with all my heart, and I am dreaming of the day soon, when I ask for her hand. Wish me luck.
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The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings.
—The Buddha

Yes, I am a ですですです. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my ですですですですですです soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute ですですですですですですです!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of theですですですですですですですですです and I am pretty slim and good looking.

But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid anime shit while I have ですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですですです.

Everyday I live I mark myself once more to remind myself it's nearing time I seperate my wretched existance from this world.
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Discover a religion that indoctrinates reincarnation. Then kill yourself and hope that you'll come back japanese. Nips are not made, they are born.
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THE ROMAN LEGIONS ARE SO COOL. THEY HAVE THESE SUPER SHARP SWORDS CALLED "GLADII" (GLADII IS HOW A ROMAN WOULD PLURALIZE IT LOL) THAT COULD STAB THROUGH ANYTHING. ONE TIME I SAW A GLADII MASTER STAB THROUGH A STEEL BEAM.

ROMAN FOOD IS SO DELICIOUS IT'S BETTER THAN CRAPPY AMERICAN FOOD.

A ROMAN LEGIONAIRE WAS THE COOLEST WARRIOR IN HISTORY HE WAS VERY SKILLED WITH HIS SWORD AND COULD DISPATCH ANY OPPONENT.

I WANT TO GO TO THE ITALIAN PENISULA SOMETIME AND MARRY A HOT CHICK IN ROME. ITALIAN WOMEN ARE SO MUCH HOTTER THAN AMERICAN WOMEN.
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So I was just looking for a bento box, right, it couldn't be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It had to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and had be be chibi (small) sized. And had to be really kawaii (cute). Also It had to be about 10-20 bux. And the seller had to post pics of it first (i wanted to make shure it was kawaii [cute]). And it would have been nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have had any cartoon pictures, or been made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would have been nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I had found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i didnt want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii).

    A cool morning breeze sneaked past the flimsy curtains of the room and the rays of the sun danced on a quilt that shifted gently in circular motions. Fingers gently stroked the instrument of pleasure, hips lifted, thighs trembled and a moan left the plum, red lips.
    She had always worshipped him, initially as a superhero but when her body awakened to needs of a dirty nature she couldn’t help but get all hot and bothered when she would fantasize how his manly hands would rove over her lean body, fondle her pink tipped breasts, his hard dick would plunge into her and bone her till she moaned and screamed her satisfaction.
    She had always been randy for him. Whenever he was nearby her panties would get wet but he had never seen her the sexual way. She had practically grown up before his eyes.
    A day did not pass when she wouldn’t be caught stare at him with hungry eyes as did all the women of Lazy Town. Ever since Sportucus had come to town there was one lazy woman left in the town. He was truly sporting and expected the men of the town to show sportsmanship while their wives enjoyed rigorous exercises with him.
    Pulling her Pajamas over her satiated body Stephanie sighed and lay back on her lacey pink Dora the Explorer pillows. Sportucus had left no young or old skirt unturned except hers and of those who were considered below the fuck age.

    He took the rules of Lazy Town seriously; a superhero would never have an allegation of statutory rape besmirch his impeccable reputation.
    Watching the shadows dance and play on the ceiling of her bedroom, she grinned – well, today she turned eighteen and could legally be fucked out of her brains.
    Throwing the quilt aside, Stephanie jumped out the bed and headed towards her bathroom. As she went through her toiletries a devious plan began to formulate in her mind and added an extra spark and spring in her step.
    By the end of the day she would ensure that she would no longer be a virgin and suitor would be no other than Sportacus.
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If the radiance of a thousand suns
were to burst into the sky,
that would be like
the splendor of the Mighty One—
I am become Death, the shatterer of Worlds.
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/!\ATTENTION MUTANTS/!\

This is a post to let all you young and developing mutants know that what your going through is completely normal. To get an idea on how many are out there we at X-Men Manor would like you to give us your Names and power/s. Please provide in this format.(example of myself)

Real Name: Jean-Paul Beaubier
Mutant Name: North Star
Powers: Superhuman speeds up to the speed of light, and I emit a light blue glow.

Please enclose picture if possible.
Thank you
-North Star
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Early, one beautiful Sunday morning, the first ray of sunlight shined onto the face of Dong, your normal every day fish. But, despite the beautiful sunrise, Dong was sad. As a child he was taken from the ocean, never to know the life of the normal fish, and all he could do now was sit infront of his master's computer and look at pictures of fish tornadoes.
    Dong's master, richjkl, was often very aroused by Dong's depression. In fact, the mere thought of Dong feeling lonely--all left out of the fish tornadoes--made richjkl's flesh tremble and fill with blood. Though it was not much compared to George Zimmer's throbbing man meat, richjkl still refered to his insignificant member as his big buddy and could often be found stroking his big buddy whenever he saw Dong swimming slowly into the corner of his tank.
However, Dong did not have to worry about his master; as he was away, preparing for war with Bosnia. The Bosnians had long been annoying the People's Republic of Internet and Internet did not want to take any more of it. The Capital of Bosnia, MySpace, had long been seen as the key target for those in Internet, and only through a combined effort of the provinces of 4chan, YTMND, SA, and others, could the walls of Bosnia be breached. Though, even a colaborative effort would not be enough for now, as a country which bordered between Bosnia and Internet, eBaum's World, was stealing resources from Internet, something which the People's Republic of Internet would not be able to handle for much longer.
    eBaum's World made the first strike, capturing one of YTMND's bases. Remembering the skirmishes which had lead up to this brutal capture, the YTMND generals made haste. The troops were rallied, messengers were sent out to all of the neighboring provinces within Internet and the forces were quickly mobalized.
The first town to be hit in eBaum's World was Forums; a small town on the outskirts of the nation. Lacking much protection, the troops stormed in, setting fire to the houses and raping men and children as there were no women. richjkl laughed as he stuck his insignificant man noodle into the eye of a 10 year old boy, and at the same instant, thousands of miles away, Dong came for no reason, completely unaware of his master's doings. The fish looked up, into the sky, and asked Raptor Jesus why he had cum; while waiting for an answer, lightning struck Dong, he died.
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so yeah, last week it was decided we were going to put our dog to sleep, and I dong think i've ever felt so awful. This morning I brought her into my bed to lie down with me and pet her, I couldn't help but cry and could tell she knew something was wrong and was trying to make me feel better.. she kept licking the tears away as they fell, which made me feel ten times worse.. So I go to sleep, and wake up after it's already been done.. the first hing I notice is she isn't at the top of the stairs to greet me as she usually is.. all I could do was sit in the recliner that was hers bed for the past 3 eyars and bawl like a child.. and it's funny because usually I was annoyed by her mere presence, I guess you really don't know what you've got until it's gone.
sorry about the lame thread, I just had to write this down somewhere and get it off of my mind

Sermon 23
Verse 5
And then a murmur went through the crowd: "But what of those who call themselves Anonymous? Surely the Unnamed ones are an abomination to our Lord?"
And Raptor Jesus spoke:
The name that can be named
is not the eternal Name.
The unnamable is the eternally real.
Naming is the origin
of all particular things.
Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.
Yet mystery and manifestations
arise from the same sauce.
This sauce is called Anonymous.
Anonymous within anonymous.
The gateway to all understanding.
And then a young one among them spake: "But surely, Raptor Jesus is a Name unto itself?"
And Raptor Jesus remained silent.
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One day, a Magistrate did approach our Lord: "What say you of the cavernous Loli Pit thou art rumored to keep in thy lair? Guarded by thy most terrible disciple, the one known as Pedobear, who sits ready to rend the Flesh and slake his thirst with the Blood of those foolish enough to covet his harem? Surely, your teachings lead only to Madness and Ruin?
And Raptor Jesus spake:
Wmen are born soft and supple;
dead, they are stiff and hard.
Plants are born tender and pliant;
dead, they are brittle and dry.
Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible
i a disciple of death.
Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life.
The hard and stiff will be broken.
The soft and supple will prevail.
The Magistrate, thus rebuked, returned to his court, weeping bitterly for his wasted life. That same night, he did Fap most furiously to reruns of Full House.
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(1) Now a man named Bridget was sick. He was from /b/, the village of Quacky-chan and her sister Waha.
(2) This quacky-chan, whose brother now lay sick was the same who poured perfume on the lord and wiped his feet with her hair.
(3) So the sisters sent word to Raptor Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick."
(4) When he heard this, Raptor Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death, No, it is for God's glory that God's son may be glorified through it.
(5) Raptor Jesus loved Waha and her sister and Bridget, though Bridget arguably the most.
(6) Yet when he heard he was sick, he stayed where he was for two more days.
(7) Then he said to his diciples, "Let us go back to 4chan."
(8) "But Rabbi," they said, "A short while ago the Anonymous tried to flame you, and yet you are going back there."
(17) On his arrival, Raptor Jesus found that Bridget had already been in the tomb for four days.
(18) /b/ was less than two miles from the index page of 4chan
(19) and many Anonymous had come to Waha and Racky-chan to comfort them in the loss of their brother.
(20) When racky-chan heard that Raptor Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him but Waha stayed at home.
(21) "Lord," Blacky-chan said to Raptor Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died.
(22) But I know God will give you whatever you ask."
(23) Raptor Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
(24) blacky-chan answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
(25) Raptor Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes me will live, even though he dies;"

And MOOT knew 2chan, and he concieved of 4chan.
He worked long in his labor and soon there came to be users, and free porn, and it was good.
But as his disciples grew in number MOOT found it harder to find time to manage 4chan and still visit his mexican prostitutes, and so he sired WT Snacks on a mexican loli.
And then came to the lands of /b/ one known as Soviet Russia
the masses of /b/ saw that his stupidity matched and exceeded their own and they hailed him their messiah.
Snacks grew jealous of the gynormous size of Soviet Russia's e-PENIS
and so it was that in the dead of night Soviet Russia was banned
And MOOT returned from Mexico and said unto Snacks, Where is Soviet Russia?
The /b/tards are whining.
And Snacks said unto MOOT:
I know not. Am I thy forum's keeper?
And MOOT spake unto him in a voice
not unlike the wheeze of an asmatic: Yes
/G/enesis - Chapter 4 verses 1 - 9
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And so WT Snacks was cursed to wander the lands of /b/ from which he had banned Soviet Russia.
And Snacks said unto MOOT, My punishment is greater than I can bear.
Behold, thou hast driven me into /b/ that I would moderate it and all the /b/tards will annoy the hell out of me
And MOOT said unto him,
Therefor whosoever annoyth Snacks,
vengence shall be taken on him sevenfold.
And MOOT set a mark upon Snacks, lest any finding him should annoy him.
And Snacks went from the presence of MOOT to dwell in the land of /b/
/G/enesis - Chapter 4 verses 10 - 16
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Praise be Raptor Jesus!

Common Raptian Salutation
Chapter 2
Verse 8
There came a day when Raptor Jesus walked with his disciples in a city. They passed many people, and Raptor Jesus would state "They are Anonymous, they are the masses. They are many, and yet they are one. They are quick to judge, and their wrath is terrible." Then Raptor Jesus and his disciples came across a man painting a mural. Raptor Jesus studied the man's work for a time, and then turned to his disciples.
"Animated," he said.

The day came when faggotry was afoot, it threatened the fabric of existance. Thus the Giant Salamander appeared; and lo, it spoke unto the fags. "FUCK YOU, THIS SHIT SUX, YOU FAG." and with a puff of semon, it was gone. A loud yelp went into the air as many were impregnated and immediately shot forth from their birthing canals, several baby toads. Thus that date became known as The Great Salamander-Frog Faggoteer Extravaganza. Exactly one year later, RaptorJesus came to the very spot that the salamander had stood and said, "HARK! ALL YE FAITHFUL, LISTEN! THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE GREAT SECOND COMING!" As soon as he spoke, thousands of toads began to flock towards the Saurian Messia. After every single one of them had arrived, RaptorJesus promptly let out a loud screeching roar, the ground began to shake. Seconds later, the Huge Salamander had returned, bathing all around in a warming glow. Again, the same thing happened; the salamander spoke, puffed, and many were impregnated. Thousands more had flocked to the location than before. Millions of frogs began shooting into the air, onto the ground, and into open mouths as the women moaned in pleasure, shooying amphibians from their vaginas.
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Early, one beautiful Sunday morning, the first ray of sunlight shined onto the face of Dong, your normal every day fish. But, despite the beautiful sunrise, Dong was sad. As a child he was taken from the ocean, never to know the life of the normal fish, and all he could do now was sit infront of his master's computer and look at pictures of fish tornadoes.
    Dong's master, richjkl, was often very aroused by Dong's depression. In fact, the mere thought of Dong feeling lonely--all left out of the fish tornadoes--made richjkl's flesh tremble and fill with blood. Though it was not much compared to George Zimmer's throbbing man meat, richjkl still refered to his insignificant member as his big buddy and could often be found stroking his big buddy whenever he saw Dong swimming slowly into the corner of his tank.
However, Dong did not have to worry about his master; as he was away, preparing for war with Bosnia. The Bosnians had long been annoying the People's Republic of Internet and Internet did not want to take any more of it. The Capital of Bosnia, MySpace, had long been seen as the key target for those in Internet, and only through a combined effort of the provinces of 4chan, YTMND, SA, and others, could the walls of Bosnia be breached. Though, even a colaborative effort would not be enough for now, as a country which bordered between Bosnia and Internet, eBaum's World, was stealing resources from Internet, something which the People's Republic of Internet would not be able to handle for much longer.
    eBaum's World made the first strike, capturing one of YTMND's bases. Remembering the skirmishes which had lead up to this brutal capture, the YTMND generals made haste. The troops were rallied, messengers were sent out to all of the neighboring provinces within Internet and the forces were quickly mobalized.
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1. Either God can create a stone that he cannot lift, or God cannot create a stone that he cannot lift.
2. If God can create a stone that he cannot lift, then necessarily, there is at least one task that God cannot perform (namely lift the stone in question).
3. If God cannot create a stone that he cannot lift, then, necessarily, there is at least one task that he cannot perform (namely create the stone in question).
4. Hence there is at least one task that God cannot perform.
5. If God is an omnipotent being, then he can perform any task.
6. Therefore, God is not omnipotent.
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The Prayer of RaptorJesus

"This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers, the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during the festival of loli-worship."

Our Raptor,
Who art in /h/eaven,
shopped be Thy face;
Thy donations come,
Thy posts be done
in /b/ as it is in /h/eaven.
Give us this day our daily Bridget;
and forgive us our trolling
as we forgive those who troll against us,
and lead us not into faggotry,
but deliver us from /fur/ry.
In the name of the Moot, the Raptor, and the Holy Server,
Amen.