COPYPASTA

One morning before school I was feeling kinda sick. Like diarrhea sick. My mom said, "Here, take an extra pair of underwear." Not thinking what kind of underwear she handed me, I shoved them in my backpack. At school I did the unthinkable, I went in my pants. I ran to the bathroom with my bag so I could use the extra pair my mom sent me. When I tried to put on the underwear, I realized my mom gave me one of my little sisters bedwetter diapers. And I had already thrown MY underwear away! Then at PE I was doing jumping-jacks with my sisters "underwear" on. I was also wearing baggy jeans. They fell down and revealed my sisters undies. Lucky me, I was helping my teacher do them in the middle of everyone, so they ALL saw me! I got so scared that I wet, and let out another flow of poo again!

Funny thing was? All that copy-pasta was from the last 20 hours.

THANK YOU AND GUDNIET (THATS JAPANESE FOR SEE YOU LATER)

<END ORIGINAL POSTERS FLOOD>

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND C.E.O. OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. BETWEEN BOUTS OF BAWDY BALL-BUSTING BUTT-BURGLING, I CAN OFTEN BE FOUND AT MY LOCAL LIBRARY PERUSING A BANK OF THESAURI TO ASSIST IN THE ALLITERATIVE ANNALS OF MY AWESOME ANAL ASSAULTS. HOWEVER, MY LATEST TRIP WAS NOT THE DRY ACADEMIC EXERCISE ONE MIGHT EXPECT.
AS I SEARCHED THE SILENT STACKS, I SPIED A STUNNINGLY SCRUMPTIOUS SIREN SITTING STUDIOUSLY AT THE REFERENCE DESK. ALL THOUGHT OF BORING, BANAL BOOK-BROWSING LEFT MY MIND AS OUR EYES MET AND THE BEAUTIFUL BOOKISH BABE'S BODACIOUS BOSOM BOBBED BOUNCILY WITH HER SUDDEN INDRAWN BREATH. MY TRUCULENT TROUSER TORPEDO TORE A TUMULTUOUS TRAIL OF TERROR TO HER TWITCHING, TITILATINGLY TENDER TWAT, UPENDING BOOKSHELVES AND SENDING HORRIFIED PATRONS FLEEING FOR THEIR LIVES. AS MY UNCTUOUS UNDULATING UNDERWEAR USURPER LURCHED LASCIVIOUSLY THROUGH HER LUSCIOUSLY LUSTY LIBRARIAN LABIA, LUBRICATING HER LOVEBOX WITH A FURIOUS FOAMING FLOOD OF FROTHY FUCK-FLUID AT THE CRITICAL CREST OF OUR CRIMINALLY COCKTASTIC COPULATORY CRESCENDO, HER CRIES OF UNIMAGINABLE PLEASURE WERE MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY LIBRARIAN'S "SHUSH."
I GUARANTEE IT.

Fred chan "The Loli Lord" Created the "One Naked Ruri" drawng in the "Blurred Megatokyo Doom".
There were Sixteen Drawings also created in "Blurred Megatokyo Doom", The "One Naked Ruri" drawing haves a verse:

Nigga Speech of a huge gaping vagina the size of a hallway, to see it you must open the image in photoshop and read the watermark and it reads

Three Drawings for the Furry-kings from undernet

Seven for the Yuri-lords in their habbo halls

Nine to the Lolipedos who are doomed to get in Jail by FBI

One to "The Loli Lord" on his WC throne

In the Land of Megatokyo where fags, furries and pedos lie

One Drawing to rule them all, One Drawing to find them
One Drawing to bring them all and in the darkness fap

To save 4chan and the humanity itself we must find the "One Naked Ruri" drawing and bring it in a huge gaping vagina the size of a hallway(Megatokyo forums), only by that way the power of The Loli Lord will be destroyed, the search is just the beginning, so many anonymous had been corrupted by its power turning them into weeaboo slaves of the Loli Lord

A little while into the shower, right when I was losing myself in a dream, I heard a loud noise in the other room. I thought maybe my stack of mangas had fallen over, and I didn't want them to hit my piro-kun I made from clay, so I rushed out to see what happened.

And then I saw him- Piro-kun had my suitcase and was smelling my panties. I was frozen solid, this was so scary, I didn't know what to think. He put them down and his face went red, and he started walking over to me. I backed away as much as I could but I ran into a corner. I was shaking, trying to cover up my private parts, but he grabbed my arms and pushed me into the wall. then he went down and started licking my private area. It felt really weird, I was so scared and confused. Then he shoved me hard onto the bed, I was so scared I was crying, I couldn't speak or scream if I wanted to. He took off his clothes and he shoved his private part into my private part. At least I think he did, I didn't really feel it go in, but he started slapping me and saying "take it bitch take it all". I was so scared, but I don't remember anything else... when I woke up I had a little bit of white stuff on my tummy, and I was naked on the bed. Piro-kun was gone. I'll never forget that night, or the things that he did to me.

INSERT ZIMMER! /VIP/ IS NOW PROPERTY OF /B/ BITCHES~!

Copy pasta is ruining /b/.

You fuckers are turning something thats fun into something that obnoxious.

If you post in the thread you agree with me, regardless of post contents

I had just been leaving the convention, happy that I finally got Piro-kun to sign my book. He even drew me a little picture, and wrote "to my favorite 12 year old fan", it's so kawaii... but he didn't look like he does in the comics. He looked a little scarier. I shuddered as I got on the bus back to the hotel, thinking of my fantasies with Piro, except that he's really so different... I don't know what to think anymore.

When I got back to the hotel room, I found the door was unlocked. I thought it was kinda weird, I'm really scared of leaving the door unlocked, but I guessed I was just excited to meet Piro-kun. So I closed it and made sure to lock it. I found a note from my parents saying they were out to eat and were going to stay at another hotel for the night (I don't know why), and said I could order anything from room service. That made me happy, I wanted some delicious cake, but I was really tired. So I undressed and got in the shower.

I used to be absolutely disgusted by dickgirls. For years I would deliberately skip saving pages from doujinshi I found if it had one in it. More recently though, I've accepted that there is futanari art that turns me on. I don't feel compelled to seek out pictures of real-life shemales; it's just one of those things, like piss-drinking and genital piercings, that anime makes arousing even though you'd never go for it in real life. I think it's a combination of three things:

1) Attaching a PENIS to a girl causes her to become sexually aggressive. She can't stop touching herself or trying to have sex with every girl, boy or other dickgirl she sees. An erection means "I'm horny, I want to have sex." When you see a girl gazing at you with a hard on, you know she wants you. Normal girls, it isn't always that obvious (a wet pussy is hard to see through clothes for example).

2) Seeing a dickgirl ejaculate is like how you wince when you see someone else get kicked in the nuts; it's a sympathetic reaction, like psychosomatic or something. Beautiful girls and ejaculating are high on most guys' lists of favorite things; dickgirls put them together in a simple package.

3) A dickgirl's dick is just another toy for you to play with. I'd treat it like an extra breast or a really big clit, something that will make her feel good when you touch her, and a hell of a lot more user friendly than a teeny tiny little knob at the top of her crotch.

4) After four years of nothing but 'normal' hentai (and some real life sex), I'm jaded by hentai. I need something a little kinkier to get me interested, and this fits the bill nicely without getting too fucked up like scat or mutilation or sensory deprivation.

hello 4chan.

Id like to start off by saying that this is not a copy-pasta.

I have found out that a girl has liked me for a while, just a few months ago. It is mutual. However, I am going out of the area for a long time, and she might move while I am gone. Also, she has had a previous boyfriend who stalked her after she left him.

What is your suggestion for a course of actions /b/

Anime has given me a warped sense of how real girls act. In the four years I attended high school, I never saw

- girls that were blushing all the time
- girls that seemed to be smiling all the time
- girls that had their mouths open in an O like they were about to fall
- girls with their eyebrows like / \ and their mouths open like an O with their hands covering their chest and scrunched down
- girls who had tears in their eyes while yawning
- girls who said "aww" or talked in a sing-song manner all the time
- girls who would randomly go up to each other and hug each other while the target smiled exasperatedly

However, now I can't see girls any other way, and it's all anime's fault.

Okay guys, this isn't funny anymore. The cops fucking knocked at my door today and asked me about websites I've been visiting. I NEVER go to any sick pedo places or anything like that so it must be this place they're talking about. For god's sake stop screwing around with the pedo shit, you're going to get yourselves arrested. Trust me the authorities are watching and they're taking it VERY seriously. Don't believe me, fine, wait a while and you will. I just hope you have a good lawyer. Goodbye forever you sick fucks, I'm going to wipe my hard drive.

http://bizzlefout.livejournal.com/

My list:

[To be honest, I feel a little selfish posting these things. I already know I have the greatest gift, and that is getting to spend Christmas with Gurr. But I sincerely hope for two things that nobody but God can give me for Christmas: For my grandfather to live to see it, and for it to really snow on Christmas Day. Everything else are just...things.]

1. I'll have to go with a paid account, too. Either on LJ [which I'd like more...I have a million icons saved and I want to put them up] or on DA.
2. Build-A-Bear just came out with a husky plushie. I love that store, even if they're so expensive. :\
3. http//www.p/...
4. Quality hanging out time with friends. I've taken it for granted far too long. I'd like to spend a whole day doing something with friends. :)
5. Media Play gift card.
6. For my artistically-talented friends, a drawing of...whatever you think I might like.
GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO
7. Music! Make me a mix cd or two of music you really think I should listen to. Or, if you know what I like and want to buy a cd, you can do that too. But I like mix cds. Just try to make an insert with the song names and artists so I can put them in my Poo.
8. Puppy toys and supplies. I know I'm not planning on getting one until after I get the apartment, but dog toys and things of that nature are so exciting for me. I'm planning on getting a mid-sized Humane Society mutt, but I'm trying not to favor a breed right now. I'd like to see who becomes available and go from there...but I already have a name picked out whether it's a boy or a girl. ._.; But it's going to happen, and when it does, I want him/her to know that they already have lots of people that love him/her.
9. A heartfelt Christmas card. Seriously, try to make me cry [um...but you know...the good kind of cry. don't tear me apart, please.]. I'm a packrat when it comes to letters that make me feel special. I've saved all the letters I received from Subiaco, I have all the letters Chris has ever sent me...heck, I have a folder of notes I've saved from middle school that make me smile.
10. If you get me any kind of art supplies, I will wet myself. Anything at all. My brother got me a nice mechanical pencil one year, and I love that one pencil.

Daer /b/,

Today I started my new job and it pissed me off. I had this fucking gook as a supervisor who thought he still was in fucking Hong-Kong, and treated me like I was a 12 year-old paid a nickel an hour. The place reeked, and I was told I was slow because I ended a service call in 15:37 with someone who understood didly-squat about the internet.

I quit 2 hours ago...

Did I do the right thing?

Dear /b/,

I am good looking, smart, funny, clean and respectful. And all that other stuff. But I can't get a gf because I am too shy and reclusive. It pisses me off when a complete ugy retard from my class gets the girls while I can't. What should I do to improve myself besides raping them?

so /b/...
Now im not really tall or heavy (5'6 150 lbs)

So anyway i bought the pills cuz i thought the 200mg of caffeine was gonna make me feel awesome and powerful .... (or at least wake me up in the morning) but i dont feel any diferent , even after taking 2 capsules, i feel nothing...

i want my money back !!motherfuckers!!

has anyone in here tiyed this before?

"Try not to scream too loud, Harry," he hissed. "There are others around." Then he lifted the boy's hips and slammed into him, hard.

It was as if Harry had been torn in two. Agony bloomed within him; his every nerve was alive with pain. Despite the warning, he could not help but cry out, a long keening whine that wouldn't have sounded out-of-place coming from a child. Draco clamped a hand over his mouth.

Body screaming from head to foot, Harry did not even think to try and bite his fingers- he sobbed and tried to withdraw into himself, find a place the Slytherin could not violate as his legs and hips and muscles protested wildly against the stretch. He'd known from the first time it would be painful, but hadn't imagined that it might hurt more- it felt as it he had been stabbed down there, raw sharpness springing inside him as young wounds that had once tried to heal were ripped apart.

The first few thrusts were excruciating, and Harry started to wish he'd succeeded last night. Somewhere above him, Draco was attempting to soothe him, and the teenager ached to scream. It was a hell; it was never going to end, it was too hard and deep for his lithe body to take, oh please let him kill me, -Sirius!- let it end.

After a while, lucidity returned unbidden and Harry remembered how much less the first time had hurt when he'd stopped struggling; he steadied his breathing and concentrated on hating Draco deep inside, trying to let his body go limp, although his eyes leaked tears for a long time afterwards.

A year ago the world was mad at me, and I was mad at it, because I coudln't express my emotions. I was totally focused on keeping emotional pain well away from any part of myself that could feel it.

All this sounds like some stupid teen angst post, about how 'no one understands the real me', I don't think that's true. I think that almost everyone has done what I'm doing now - lay in bed, kept awake by feelings of fear or confusion, and looked for a way to reach out and express the feelings inside. I think all we want to do is reach out and really feel like someone is listening, actually understanding what we feel. The hardest thing to do is work all the feeling out all alone. This is where I failed.

For me, the emotions felt overwhemling and unexpressable. They wern't. I went through two periods of drinking at least 3 times a week, and at least once a week heavily. I got into fights. I took risks. I put myself in a hospital. I've even done things that I still can't talk about.

Long and painful story short, my life found me the next morning hugging my knees on the cold floor of the common room, by the refridgerator. All the bad feelings I had been hiding from the past 5 years caught up to me. I was so afriad that I felt I had only 2 options: run as far away as you can, or end the pain. I actually started to pack to leave. My friends got me help. I've been in therapy for 4 months now.

Dear /b/,

In the past forty eight hours, I've managed to get a grand total of five hours of sleep (goddamn research papers). Now I've got a chance to sleep tonight, but cannot get tired. Any suggestions?

Thanks.

Guys, today I realized that I've completely lost the ability to empathise with other human beings. Also, I'm actually terrified about being in a sexual situation with a female, and losing my virginity was a hollow, empty experience. I have no job, but I do have occasional psychotic episodes where I black out and don't know what the fuck happens. My roomates hate me, and even though I can barely stand sex with guys, I keep on giving them blowjobs and getting fucked up my ass for them, even though it doesn't get me off.

So my question, /b/, is this:

How do you take your coffee?

Today being Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I came out of science for break. He was dressed as Ash. Knowing this was going to happen, I brought a Mudkips doll. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.

"So I heard you like Mudkips..."
"MUDKIPS? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS."
"O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a Mudkips, that is.." (he cuts me off before I could say 'if you were a mudkips')
"OF COURSE."
"Well I just happen to have a Mudkips here, and..."

Before I finished the sentance, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violently humping it. Not to get between a man and his Mudkips I started to walk away, because there is no way I'd be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a Mudkips.

Needless to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn't want to be involved.

I came back out two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd around him. He was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up 'EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF' sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.

I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Road Warrior) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.

A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were all shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.

So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling, "I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I'M GONNA SUE..." and it was cut off.

I asked an office later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and 'whatever else happened.' The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.

So I ask you: do you like Mudkips?

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision. Thanks in advance guys.

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with her. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night something odd happened. She had come over to play WoW and had forgotten to sign off of AIM after she left. It was whilst I was going through her buddy list that I noticed my mage had just been two-shotted by a rogue.

Should I stick with my mage or should I play a class with more survivability?

Rap music:
-degrades the english language
-Promotes tagging and vandalism
-degrades women
-Implies postivity to primitive force (look at any metal cd, and youll see an imaginative cover with interesting artwork, look at a hip hop Cd, and youll see a pissed off nigra wanting to fight)
-Shifts values to "bling" and expensive shoes which leads to theft
-Promotes Rastafrian culture, which tries to legalize weed

Rap can be made by ANYBODY, a preset drum machine is all you need to make primitve music and get signed to a record label. If youve been shot, thats credible and prefered to hype your image, just like growing up on the "street"
The lyrics are simple, the sentences dont need to be related, just whatever can ryhme is fine. They dont even have to make sense, just as long as it sticks to an even flow. And sometimes, rappers will get lazy and mispronounce words to rhyme.
Now some of you guys are gonna say "omg racist", but more thn half of all nigra music is sold to whites. No other genre of music promotes more negative values than hip hop, and as it spreads toward different regions, it infects the native population like a fungus.

There is NO talent in rap, so next time, whe your downloading music, get yourself a king crimson, dark tranquility, symphony x or non-hip hop album. Your brain will thank you for not degenerating it into a pile of primtive processing jello.

Lets discuss

Dearest /b/

I can't get my gf of over 2 years to orgasm. I've tried everything. I've ate her out till she says to stop, different positions, etc. We've been screwing for over a year and nothing has worked and now she wants to see a sex therapist.

tl;dr how I failed to make girl cum?

picture not related as she won't me stick it into her pooper :/

Hey guys, Here's the story:
The first thing you need to know is that my cousin is hot. Amazingly hot. The kind of hot that makes you want to rip her pants off and fuck her in the middle of class, not caring about getting expelled. She's just that damn good. People tease me about her a lot, because she has a bit of a reputation for being a slut, and for good reason: She sucked off half the footbal team after the homecoming game. But she is hot nonetheless.

Anyway, she lives about 10 minutes away from me and she called me up and asked if I wanted to go see a movie. I told her no, I had to work on this english report (Poison Gas Warfare in WWI), but she begged until I gave in. Then she told me she wanted to rent a movie and come over instead of going to a theatre. I raised my eyebrows at this. Why would she want to come over here? Could it be she's really that big of a slut? Nooo, I thought. That couldn't be it...could it?

So she arrives at around 9 PM. My parents are still at a symphony they went to, so nobody is in the house (my sister is in college). We pop some popcorn and get on the couch and start watching the movie (The Blues Brothers). After a while she complains that her legs are cramping up and wondered if she could lie down on the couch and put her head in my lap. My stomach did a barrel roll. I said Yes, no problem.

So she puts her head in my lap and continues to watch the movie. We're to the scene with the blind dude playing the keyboard when she starts to gently rub her head back and forth; jacking me off with her ear, if you will. It was an extremely good feeling, and I gave a little sigh as she did it. Then I was brought back to Earth as my cousin sat up and gave me a look of disgust. "What the hell is that?" she asked, pointing to my crotch. I had a raging hard-on from her head movements, and I could do nothing to hide it. I mumbled that I was sorry and that I should probably get to bed, but she grabbed me by the beltloop as I tried to get up.

She forced me back down and looked into my eyes with a sort of hungry look. "If you're attracted to me, all you needed to do was tell me..." and with that she unzipped my pants and had them around my knees before you could say Jack Daniels. I feebley tried to resist, but my protests faded into nothingness as she pulled my wang (I won't lie, 5.8 inces) out of my boxers. I closed my eyes and groaned with pleasure. As I looked down, I saw a sight I will never forget for the rest of my life.
She lowered her head to it, pulled off her mask, and spit acid all over my wang.
FATALITY.

Dear /b/
I finally got my 10 yr old sister to dress as Batgirl. I dressed as Batman and we played Superheroes. Then I dressed up as Joker, tied her up, raped her, forced my cock down her throat, ass-fucked her, pissed in her mouth, shit on her face, cut off her toes and fingers, cut off her nipples and made her eat them, sewed her pussylips together, stabbed her, shot her, and bashed her skull in with a crowbar. Then I jacked off on her dead carcass and called all her friends for a sleepover. Is there something wrong with me /b/?
Picture somewhat related. (was batgirl)

When Pulane Leburu started scratching one of her breasts in December last year, it was the beginning of what would later become a nightmare in the area.

She couldn't stop scratching the bottom part of her right breast. She washed it twice, but it worsened with each application of water.

Leburu, 48, of Disaneng village, about 40km outside Mafikeng in North West, went to the clinic the following day.

"A yellowish sore had developed and it was itching and paining. I had to go to the clinic when I felt a lump inside.

"Nurses thought it was something to do with breast cancer. But they were baffled because it was developing on the outer part of the breast," she said.

At the clinic, a nurse felt a lump inside the breast and, while squeezing it, asked Leburu whether she was feeling any pain. Then the sore burst open and a live worm emerged.

Leburu's was one of the earliest cases of an outbreak of skin-worm sores in the Ratlou sub-district, outside Mafikeng.

At least 120 people, including babies, have reported to clinics in the area with the condition.

Dear /b/. About 4 years ago, I got curious as to why gay guys like getting fucked in the ass. The first thing I ever put into my anus was a cotton swab, and it felt really weird. Eventually I looked for other things around my house to try, bottles, things with handles.. etc. It went on like this for years. I just recently bought a dildo to use on my ass, and it feels REALLY good. But I guess what my real question is, where can I find a guy who will fuck me? I dont want a boyfriend or anything, just a PENIS in my ass.

My father was standing there naked, his mouth open, his eyes bulging out as he stared at me huddled in the corner. His cock was hard and red, and pointed at me threateningly, like a gun. He got in the tub with me, the water flattening his hair and dropping down off his face. The drops bounced off his chest and shoulders as he moved against me in the corner. He grabbed my wrists, pulling my hands away from my chest, holding them high above my head with one hand so he could stare at my naked
body. His other hand pressed against my boob, pushing it flat against my chest
with his palm. He rotated his hand, then closed the fingers around my tit, squeezing the meaty flesh. He stared down at my tit in fascination, as his fingers squeezed and squeezed it repeatedly.

His hands came around me, hugging me tightly as he kissed me. He pulled myleg up and thrust his hips forward, crushing my ass against the tiles. He reached between his legs with his other hand, still holding my leg up high and
to the side, and inserted the tip of his PENIS in my sheath. His hand moved around onto my ass, pulling me outward as he slowly pushed
himself up into me. He began thrusting almost immediately, screwing me with short, sharp jabs. He moved his hips around in circles, jerking in and out. When he decided I was loose enough, he began pumping with long sdough strokes. His body crashed into mine again and again, slamming me against the corner of the shower enclosure. My face was buried in his wet chest fur. Then I felt him shudder. His hips slammed forward as his head jerked up and back.

From the tip of his cock inside of me burst a fireball and I exploded.

FATALITY.

Dear /b/

It has come to my attention that I am bisexual. I had a good friend, and he was gay as all fuck. Earlier last week, in one way or another... we wound up cybering. We're both guys, and up untill recently I've always believed myself to be heterosexual. But that cybering turned me on, in a severe kind of way. Curious about this, I invited this friend to my house later that week - and turned what he had cybered into a reality.

Now, I know for a fact that I am not full-blown gay. I have enjoyed fucking women in the past, and last night I proved to myself that not only was I a fucking slut, but I could also get off on women as well as men.

What should I do, /b/?

*sigh* Evidently, I'm "one of the girls"... ...that happens to have a PENIS. Or, a Soccer Mom with a dick.

This Saturday, I've been invited to "girl's night out" with the group of PTA Moms that I've been hanging out with after school. Some are married, most are not. They're a group of women that have known each other since High School that just happen to have all of their kids go to the same school as my daughter. We've talked a lot about all sorts of stuff, and our kids play together. I'm on a couple of commitees and we all work together for school fundraisers and stuff.

Most of our discussions have been about school stuff, but a lot of it has been personal. It's about to get intimate.

I've told one about my "checkered past" and about being a former male stripper. Now, she's told all of the rest, and they are all demanding lap dances this weekend.

Fuck.

I've tried my best to be non-sexual around them, treating them as fellow parents that are concerned about the total well-being of our kids and responsible parental involvement with our kid's education.

All of a sudden, that dynamic has changed, and I'm not really comfortable with it. They're all about to get a big helping of throbbing dick rubbed up against them, and they're OK with it.

Would I enjoy it? Sure. Would it be wise? Probably not.

lol the five hours of sleep thing was mine.  i didn't realize someone copypastaed it.

dear /b/, i've realized i hate women

i'm not gay, just women aren't worth the bullshit. Pussy isn't that great, and having to do so much stupid shit, how they want you always thinking about them, going to crappy movies, or "talking". I don't mean actually talking about ideas, or anything remotely interesting. I mean either her bitching about her life or her friends. Or how they hate talking about anything substantial; in fact, they actively try to suppress all conversation on anything beyond trivial bullshit.

"intellectual" or political girls are no different. They don't want a conversation, they want an idelogical circle-jerk

Dearest /b/,

I recently started playing Magic: The Gathering as a result of NYComic-Con. I got some rally rare stuff from two guys who were really cool. They even made me a red-white deck.

Now, I go to school. and I'm playing with it, and a friend of mine knows how to play but doesn't have cards of his own. I then promised him to give him a Blue-white deck that I didn't plan on using at all. After many words of praise, the end of school came and I went home.

I looked at the blue-white deck and said "I could make this better." So I did, shift things in and out and made it nicer. So I decided to test it against my red-white deck.

It beat the shit out of me. 5 times.

Now, I'm in love with this Blue-White deck that's been able to own my red-white several times over. I don't want to give it to my friend, and the red-white has too many rare cards for me to even THINK of passing it on. And I don't want to give him nothing so...

What should I do?

Signed, Random M:tG Player.

NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED
M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     I have always wanted to ____ you.

you have a cute______.

You make me _______.

You should _______.

Someday I will ______.

You + me=________.

If I saw you now I'd __________.

I would build a _______ just for you.

I would get your name tattooed on my __________.

If I could sing you any song it would be _________.

We could __________ under the stars.

My love for you is like that of ____________.

Love,
_______________

(P.S. ______________.)



REPOST THIS WITH DEAR___________ (YOUR NAME) AND HAVE PEOPLE MESSAGE YOU FILLING IN THE BLANK

winamp "skins" are fucking retarded and worthless. if you use a skin of any kind for any program, you're a faggot who needs to die.

skins reduce functionality and look stupid. besides, why the fuck do you have winamp popped up, are you too stupid to know what song is playing by hearing it? do you really have nothing better to do than sit on your computer all day, staring at winamp as you play some shitty techno songs or "underground" hip hop?

if you use skins, please kill yourself.

I am sick and fucking tired of you ass holes Who have no lives and like picking on defencless creatures. I am putting in a Email to the owners of 4chan to remove and bann all Pictures of animal tourture/death. Just because you Idiots do this means many other people want to see it. And I bet a few serton organizations would like to see whats going on in /b/. I would injoy any and all people who torture animals to get punished for there acts. Now STFU and GTFO

My girlfriend was bugging me for months to live out her YAOI fantasy. She wanted to masturbate while watching me make it with another guy. I finally gave in and said I'd do it if she'd agree to a threesome with me and another woman and I got to fuck the other woman.

She agreed so she brings this guy in. The guy is huge, he takes charge and totally makes me his bitch. I suck him off and then he sticks it in my pooper. Meanwhile my girlfriend is sitting in the corner of the room masturbating like crazy, screaming humiliating insults at me as she comes like "take that cock you sissy queer, you're a little cock whore arn't you faggot".

I'm surprised at how much I'm actually getting into this. Having her masturbate and verbally humilate me while getting totally used by a big man was a real turn on.

But then the next day she tells me she's dumping me because now that she's seen me getting fucked and sucking a cock she's disgusted by me.

WTF!?! I did this for her and this is the thanks I get? I fucking hate this bullshit YAOI fantasies that women get. If you can't handle a guy getting fucked and sucking a cock THEN DON'T ASK THEM TO HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER MAN FOR YOU!

The worst is I didn't get my fucking threesome.

We walk this earth
With fire in our hands
Eye for an eye
We are nemesis

We are with you
Countless vicious souls
Fight, fighting for freedom
United, we stand..we stand

We are a legion
Voice of anarchy
This is revolution
Creating new disorder

We are enemy
opponent of the system
Crushing hypocrisy
slaying the philistine

One for all
All for one
We are strong
We are one

One for all
All for one
We are one
Nemesis

A malicious fever burns
In our heart, in our veins
Ýour blood, my blood
All blood runs the same