There was an old moose called Keith
Who circumsised men with his teeth.
It wasn't for leisure
Or sexual pleasure
It was just for the cheese underneath.
sauce: toilet wall
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 7:18
My crotch looks like pizza - Lindsay, Age 18, Ohio
I had anal sex with this guy I thought I liked about a year ago. Besides using me and ripping my asshole, he also gave me herpes. Everyone knows because I live in a small town and my GYN's wife is a fucking fat ass gossip. I don't have any friends and dating is not even an option because my crotch usually looks like chewed up pizza and no guy would have sex with me anyway. I did meet one guy online who came over but when he used my bathroom I guess he saw the Valtrex in the medicine cabinet and made some excuse to leave.
I work at Waffle House taking orders from drunks and cleaning up puke and stopped up toilets. Then I come home and play EverQuest until I fall asleep. The guy that gave me herpes moved out of town and I don't remember his last name even if I wanted to look him up and kill him. I dropped out of high school and never got a GED so the Waffle House job is about as good as it will get for me.
I live with my dad in a singlewide trailer that doesn’t even have AC. My dad is a trucker so he is hardly home but when he is, I am subjected to the sound of moans and groans from the truck stop hookers he picks up. My one joy in life is my computer my grandparents bought for me for Xmas two years ago. I don't even have a car. I walk to work in my Waffle House get-up. Every day I pray I get hit by a car walking to work. My paychecks are spent on the Valtrex I have to buy because I don't have health insurance to cover it. I have no reason to live. My crotch is burning right now as I type this.
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 7:20
I feel dirty - Peter, Age 19, Edmonton, Canada
I feel dirty. Every night I go to the pubs and try to pick up girls but I end up going home with boys. I never fancied myself a homosexual, but when it comes down to it, any sex will work. Sometimes I suck dick for money. I don’t like to suck dick but my job at the donut shop doesn’t pay much and I have to supplement my income to afford sex toys for my rampant homosexuality.
My father hates me. He beats me senseless when he finds me wearing my mothers underwear. Then him and his friends get drunk and put out their cigarettes on my arm. I wish that I could get a girl - that would cure me from my illness. The illness of being gay.
I have a terrible case of herpes from a 36-year-old construction worker who called me Brenda. He put odd things in my anus like the fat end of a whisky bottle. There are times when I hustle myself out on Whyte Ave. to older men for bar money. Sometimes they don’t pay me, they just beat me until I can’t see straight. How am I ever going to get a girl with my face bloodied up and with bumps on my penis? I hate myself.
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 7:21
Killer pussy - Anonymous, Age 21, USA
I am a lesbian. I love the taste of pussy, when it is good. But I barely get to sample the sweet juices anymore cause of this one skank bitch that I devoured. She said she was just beginning to get sexual. This was her first sexual act of any kind. Well, I don't know if everyone else knew something about her that I didn't, cause in the middle of pleasuring her, this clump of nasty, yellow, stanky, rotten something came out of her. I instantly vomited from the smell and the taste of it. Now, I have this disgusting infection on my mouth. I constantly have huge pussing herpes on and around my mouth. I brush, and rinse and do everything possible and it doesn't help. I can't smile cause my lips are so cracked they bleed and ooze stinky puss. I still don't know to this day what I contracted from her. But if I ever see her again, I am going to spit in her mouth and tongue her, so she can live my hell. And besides all that I am a hot bitch, tight little bod, but my mouth just kills it for me. GAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 7:23
I'd kill everyone but I'm afraid I'd go to hell - Anonymous, Washington, Age 17
I am a 17 year old virgin male who jacks off to internet porn everyday after school. I have no friends, I've never seen a real vagina and I think I have halitosis. I cry every afternoon and sometimes make fun of my own penis. There is no name for my disorder. I'd kill everyone but I'm afraid I'd go to hell. People say I smell like sh** and make fun of my car everywhere I go. I've worked at McDonald's for one year and haven't got a raise yet.
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 7:30
My mom wants a retroactive abortion - Joe, Florida, Age 33
My whole family hates me. My mom said she wants a retroactive abortion. Reading this page is the high point of my rotten life. I am not gay but I have gay sex with men because it is the only sex I will ever be able to get because I am so ugly. I have to take shits in a bucket and shower in the kitchen sink because the floor caved in in my bathroom and I don't have any money to fix it. I just received a note from my neighbors asking me not to open my windows because the inside of my house smells from the bucket of shit.
My Dad stuck his penis in my mouth once when I was sleeping. I was about 12 years old.
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 11:10
I have sex with my stuffed animal penguins (1/1/00) - Darson, Texas, Age 21
First off I am schizophrenic. I am a fat nasty dike!!! I used to be sexy and a huge slut at that. But since the death of the last person on Earth to know I exist, my dad, who fucked me every night since I was 10 without my mom ever knowing about it, I have eaten my way out of the misery. Now, with no friends, no family, no money, I just found out I am pregnant with my dead dad's baby. Now to keep my self occupied I bite my toenails nervously and pleasure my self with a candle stick while indulging in my penguin fetish. Humans don't like me... at least I cant get dumped by a penguin! My life is so pathetic I have sex with my stuffed animal penguins. I am 21 I should be out having fun in bars , but I am afraid. My therapist does all my shopping and things that require seeing humans.
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 11:16
I must squeeze more lemons (12/16/99) - Willy, Age 27
My large intestine slowly leeks out of my ass. Doctors don't really know why. Its embarrassing and smells. Oddly I think my sphincter is starting to enjoy it. I am so pathetic I soak it in lemon juice so I don't get some sort of weird cancer. I had a date once that actually was feeling out my ass and thought that my intestine was my dick. She felt in and stroked it, of course it did not get hard so she was pissed. I could lied I guess. Why bother. I must squeeze more lemons.
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 11:25
I have a good chance of getting a job at Dunkin' Donuts (12/8/99) - Anonymous, NJ, Age 28
I rolled out of bed this morning and fell onto the floor because my 4'11" frame will no longer hold my 346 pounds. I picked myself up after about 20 minutes and lumbered into the bathroom to bathe and get ready for my job as the Domino's pizza delivery girl. I got stuck in the shower when I bent over to pick up the soap and had to bust my way out of the shower door in order to save myself. It made quite a mess which had no chance of being cleaned up. I walked over to the mirror only to find the 8th boil this week had erupted on my chin. I brushed my hair, which has white flakes all the time, but it's ok because it looks like parmesan cheese and that's what I tell people when they ask. It works out, because I work at Domino's and I make people believe I'm making pizza all day and sometimes the flour and cheese gets in my hair. I got to work 40 minutes late and was fired because they said I can't get the pizzas there in under 30 minutes. and someone complained and said i picked all the pepperoni off a pizza during one of my deliveries. When I got back into my 1982 Chevette to drive home, one of the tires blew out and the rim immediately cracked. When the tow truck got there, 2 men came out to look at the tire and ridiculed me for having empty donut boxes on the back seat. I'm not sad about it though. I have a good chance of getting a job at Dunkin' Donuts and I won't have to make any deliveries. I don't have any friends and my family doesn't invite me anywhere because they say I smell funny, but I don't care, I'd rather watch TV than be around real people anyway.
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 11:34
I can't even pleasure him orally - Charlotte, NZ, Age 19
I have a fungal infection that makes my face grow spontaneous deformities. It is inoperable. It makes it impossible to eat. I have a boyfriend who uses me for sex. But he only takes me anally as he says "the vagina is the house of the Devil" and refuses to have normal sex. I can't even pleasure him orally as my mouth is so swollen most of the time, it's painful.
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 11:46
She wants me to have a sex change - Tammy, TX, Age 19
I go by the name Tammy but my real name is Danny. My mother has forced me to dress like a girl for as long as I can remember. My older sister died in a house fire caused my my mother smoking in bed. No she calls me by her name and colors my hair just like my sisters hair. The worst moments in my life are bath time when she makes me hold my penis between my legs so she can't see it and bathes me. She wants me to have a sex change and has been coaching me on what to say so it can be done. I told her I will let her give me breast implants but I don't want them to cut off my penis. She just said it's not the same as being the whole girl we really know I am inside. I don't know what to do.
Name:
VIPPER2005-02-16 14:46
Any guy who says that they have a female mind/are actually female deep down are fags and are bullshitting themselves.
HAY GUYZ IS THIS WORLD OF WARCRAFT??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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