Am I Sick?

I did read a whole lot of reviews n comments about this movie(Irréversible) before watchin it. This freaked me off to such an extent dat when I FINALY rented the cd, I didn't have the courage to watch it for a week! Then I did and SURPRISINGLY, the rape scene turned me on! Kinda watched it over n over again until I... erm... masturbated... K, am a female as my nick suggests, hardly 17 yrs old (I kno i shudn't have been watchin this stuff!) n usualy very sensitive (I just can't stand the sight of blood!). Just want to kno if any one of u found dat scene a turn-on too or is it dat am sick??!! Am realy feelin' very guilty...

http://imdb.com/title/tt0290673/board/nest/13642975

whatever.
i didn't find it hot, rather boring. it wasn't as "scarring" as most people had me to believe.