hay guys i want to get closer to women

women spit at me when they see me, i want a dating guide which i dont have to pay for like an ebook or something. gawd help me plz.

1. Go to Seminary
2. Become a minister
3. Teach a Sunday school class
4. Teach the kids that Jesus is in your peenor and they need to help him get out.
5. ???
6. Profit!