I was totally nervous because I was scared to death of her dad. I went to meet her at her home for a date and who else shows up at the door but Chris Hanson himself!
He asks me some bullshit questions and has the arrogance to insist that I'm the scumbag even though he was the one who trolled a elderly man to the point of suicide!
Chris: "She's 17 years old, you sick fuck!"
Me: "Duh, I'm 17 years old. Heterosexuality isn't illegal."
Chris: "Well then, you're both under arrest!"
I had the cash to hire a lawyer and I totally won the case.
This is what they said to each other:
"She was the one propositioning minors on the web, Sir. and Chris Hanson was paying her like a pimp does to arrange for this older woman to prey on these young boys on camera, posing as a 17 year old". The entire court erupted into a roar. The gavel was slammed repeatedly in hopes of calming everyone down; but it didn't stop Chris from pissing himself in his seat. Lube and spaghetti spilled out of his ass on the way out of the courtroom but the guards tackled him to the ground and tased him repeatedly. The tears made each zap more and more painful.
Suddenly this had became a reverse sting and Chris admitted to his guilt and the camera footage proved it. Because this was NBC, they paid fines and no one saw jail time; but I am now rolling in millions of dollars from the mis-trial and I couldn't be happier. That's why you don't see any new episodes of "To catch a predator" on the TV show "Dateline" anymore.
5. Psychotic customers:
Besides those crazy enough to shoot up the theator, there is always that customer who thinks that they are being funny or original by quoting the exact same trash that some other customer said minutes ago. This nonsense reapeats all day. Sadly, these people survive everything and won't shut up.
4. Video Cameras
Everyone knows that the better film copies come from foreign countries and being a asshole to a minimum wage worker asking you to shut your shit off causes jail time. However, there were other problems we had: Graffiti was a big one. We even had a night security guard to help keep order during the busy hours and another employee would keep a lookout on the roof for anyone trying to further their vandalistic art career.
3. Other criminals
Another problem was people sneaking in. I've kicked out countless kids trying to get into R-rated movies, movie hopping, or just trying to get in free. Some of the excuses were hilariously stupid ("We can only watch ONE movie?!"), while others were just stupid ("I missed the first hour of this movie." That's probably because you spent that first hour watching a different movie, jackass.) Rude customers were a blast. They always had something to say, wanted things their way (this ain't Burger King, bitch), or were just straight-up assholes. But they were always fun to deal with, because it usually ended with them storming out in a fit of rage because they realized that they were wrong.
2. Your Friends
I had no pull on getting them free tickets on opening night, or free hot dogs at the concession stand. They understood that all I got was one free ticket a month to a old movie that has been out for over three weeks. Your friends are assholes.
1. The moral of the story is that being a employee at a fun place is not fun.