halp

You know what? I took the plunge and installed Linux today. Top Hat or some hat version. But now I have a problem. Im getting these big red lesions all over me. Im not allergic to anything that would cause that, and I havent become infected with any diseases, my doctor checked me out fine. Then I figured out what Linux really is. Open Sores. Linux is killing me! Help!

First, don't panic. Fear evasively leads to the dark side. Which means microsoft, which means STD's. You may have open sores, but at least you still have your sexual organs.

Second, Get yourself some robitussin and neosporin. Together they can fix anything.

Third, learn how your computer works, internalizing the open source will lessen the surface affect and just give you a general overall pale.


It's also important to realize that now that you have linux, the fundamental biochemistry of your body has now changed. Instead of the pizza and beer you may be used to, you now require vast amounts of caffeine and salt. The combination will re-hydrate your skin and cause your wounds to heal.

Lastly, good luck! The wonderful world of freedom awaits you.