Slow computer, any advice? + xp install help

Hi /tech/,

My friend's computer is running really slow so I suggested she reformatted her computer. In order to do this you need to reinstall windows xp? She doesn't know how her computer was set-up in the first place and she thinks it was pirated or something.

I was thinking of telling her to download a torrent from either the pirate bay, torrentz, or isohunt. Like maybe the second download on here? http://isohunt.com/torrents/?ihq=windows+xp .
And then burn this software to a cd and doing the normal reformat stuff?

Plus, is there really any way to make a computer go faster besides reformatting? It's always seemed like the only way to clear all the crap you get from the internet.

Please real advice and no trolling. I may be asking for advice, but I'm certainly not an idiot.

Your friend is obviously retarded. Download and install Ubuntu, and don't tell her the root password. That ought to be enough to protect her from herself.