DM: "You arrive at the fortress and see a door."
Player: "We approach the door to open it."
DM: "You notice the door is ajar."
Player: "The door is a jar? What sorcery is this? We'll look in the jar, while the Wizard casts Identify."
DM: "Er ...."
Just as I thought. You're no power but the helpless flapping of a cockgobbler we laughingly call "a mouth". There must be a Bubba for whom you'd be the appropriate bitch. I'll be back later to see how you've adapted to your new career of perpetual mouthrape.