How Do I Play Any Sports?

Can someone please explain to me how to play:

Soccor
Baseball
Football
Basketball

Please. I can't watch any game and i wanna get into sports please

KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES! KIKES!

Can't force yourself into something you don't enjoy.  Try watching a few american football games and find a favorite team.  Follow your favorite team religiously and talk about them with other people. 

Rinse and repeat. 

Oh and buy a jersey.

>>1
i can teach you how to play futbol but you have to come to argentina ;[
also is not soccer its futbol you fucktards

I played basketball for a D-1 university...I could maybe help you...

Soccer is pretty easy. Kick a ball around some grass. If you are from Northern Africa (Congo included) replace ball with human skull.

>>6
FUCK YOU ITS FUTBOL NOT SOCCER

♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞
NIGGER HORSE PLAGUE
♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞♞

It's called futebol.

Could soccer be any more homosexual?

>>10

how is soccer homosexual?

Something like 70% of pro soccer players have touched balls

100% of american football players have spent hours handling ovoid balls while grappling manly men around the torso and legs...

>>13

0/10

Soccer: Get ball and kick win into goal.
Baseball: Wait for guy with ball to throw it at you, hit win with bat.
Football: Get ball and run win onto end.
Basketball: Get ball and win through hoop.

Umm. You misspelled soccer.
And you kick the ball fith your feet...
-rolls eyes-

>>16
You misspelled with.
Soccertactics:
Pass the ball to your friend
or
Kick the ball into goal
or
Fuck around on the field and get a red card
-->drink your team mates' juices

Soccer: Kick a ball, that is usualy black and white, into a netted goal on a feild of grass.

Baseball: Use a wooden or metal bat, not and animal, to hit a small white ball out into a feild of grass, when ball is hit run to a white thing called a base, run until you get to home base

Football: Either tackle a big fat sweaty guy, or take the ball, kind of an oval shape usualy colored brown, and run to the opposite side of the feild of grass, then slam ball into ground.

Basketball:This game is usualy played indoors on a thing called a court. With a ball that is round or a sphere it is usualy orange. You take the ball and throw it through a neted goal called a basket. This goal is usualy high above the players head.