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Funny Bone

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-15 7:27

TOOTHACHE

   Tooth decay is caused by bacteria that eats the sugar in your mouth. Everyone has *bacteria in their mouths. If these get a supply of sugar from sweet foods, they multiply and a substance called plaque is formed. The bacteria produces acids, which eat into the tooth, forming holes. These holes are called cavities. If the cavity is not filled by the dentist, it reaches the *pulp cavity and causes toothache. An infection may develop or the tooth may become loose if the gum is damaged.

   That is why you should brush your teeth after every meal, if possible. This helps to get rid of sugar and other food that is stuck in your teeth.

   It is also important to visit a dentist regularly. You can prevent cavities and gum disease by eating less sugar. Use a fluoride toothpaste when you brush your teeth as it will strengthen your teeth.

*bacteria - tiny organisms which cause disease.

*pulp cavity - the inner part of the tooth, which contains blood vessels and nerves.

Name: Anonymous 2013-10-21 18:23

Welcome to Reach, heart of the UNSC's 32 dental shards and home to the iconic Spartan super brushes. For decades, humanity has fled from the relentless Cavity threat, but now the largest Cavity ever witnessed looms in the darkened corners of the mouth. Noble Team, equipped with a deadly arsenal of high tech dental equipment and knowledge, must stand and face a full scale oral invasion with humanity's fate hanging desperately in the balance. If Reach falls, little will stand between the Cavity and the complete and total annihilation of the human jaw. General Masseter has informed me that you will be stationed here.
______________________________________________

Master Chief: Hey there, kiddo, boring old history textbooks getting you down? Wouldn't you rather be doing something wonderful and fun? Wouldn't you like to defeat an armada of evil invaders out to corrupt and destroy all that is pure, in a never ending conflict ? No, I'm not talking about the Covenant armada from my Halo video game series, I'm talking about a real battle happening everyday… in your mouth !

Gum disease affects the species as a whole. It ruins lives. It destroys families. It sinks ships. No living creature on our great planet is safe from it. Have you ever seen a Gravemind's mouth? It's a war crime, begging for a 12-gauge teeth cleaning! What's sad about this crisis is that there are those who don't want to fight. They don't think it's a big deal. They are the ones destroying hope for our race! An army marches on its teeth; an the fate of the universe depends on the marching of pearly whites! Teeth are needed to chew MREs! Pull out bullets from your armor without letting go of your weapon! Bite down on Grunts as a secondary attack! These are military strategies that can be easily brought down by neglecting important military dental procedures, like flossing!

Maybe you're thinking: Master Chief, what is so fun about dental hygiene? Dental hygiene is boring! Why do you even care? All very good questions… that are likely to get you beat up by Master Chief and taunted by his hot supermodel A.I.

Fighting plaque is both rewarding and fun! With good dental hygiene habits, like brushing after every meal and flossing, plaque can be destroyed easily and with no consequence since plaque is a soulless hive-mind of destruction. And since game violence is becoming more introspective these days, because "Spec Ops" is a party pooper, you'll be happy to completely obliterate plaque and commit war crimes in your mouth without the feeling of guilt that comes with thinking that you just destroyed a happy family with minty-fresh white phosphorous, [insert spoiler  pun here].

So get to it marine! Brush your teeth everyday! Twice a day! Clean the mouth anyway you can! There are plenty of options at your disposal! Electric toothbrushes, alcohol-free mouthwash, minty toothpicks… I even used a belt sander once.Extreme you say? Not an option worth taking? Well, son, in the face of gingivitis, EVERY option is preferred! So are you ready? Are you ready for…. HALO's: TOTAL REACH? ARE YOU?!
THEN TAKE THIS BRUSH AND FINISH THE FIGHT AGAINST PLAQUE BUILD-UP!
[I'm John Spartan and I approve this message]

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-25 10:06

HEADACHE

What causes it?

   A headache can start for any one of hundreds of reasons. It is not a sickness, but a symptom of a disorder somewhere - in some part of the body.

   The pain itself comes from certain structures in the skull. The arteries (that carry blood) in our brain are sensitive to pain. When they "hurt", you have a headache. Also, when your ears, teeth and muscles hurt, the pain may spread to the brain area and produce a headache.

   Lack of sleep or a sudden habit of sleeping late can also cause a headache. First of all, your body needs a regular and sufficient amount of sleep. So if you constantly sleep late, you will feel very tired. Your brain has to work extra hard; so do your heart, eyes and muscles. Thus, you must make sure that you set a proper time for study and play; and get to bed early. That way, you will feel fresh and relaxed.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-25 10:14

INFLUENZA

Influenza, or commonly known as flu, is caused by viruses. Viruses are special in that they are always changing their appearances to fool the body's defence mechanisms.

   Flu is transmiited from person to person by breathing in the droplets containing the viruses.

   If you are infected, the viruses will remain in your body for two or three days, where they will multiply rapidly. This time taken is known as the incubation period. After this period, the viruses suddenly attack various parts of the body - the muscles start to ache; the throat becomes sore; the noise gets runny and you will have a fever. You may also have a headache, and start sneezing and coughing. Such symptoms, which indicate that you are not feeling well, may last between two to five days.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-25 10:26

SORE EYES (OR CONJUNCTIVITIIS)

   Sore eyes is an *inflammation of the conjunctiva, caused by bacteria or virus. The conjunctiva is the thin transparent membrane that covers the front of the eye to protect it.

   You can get sore eyes through contact. For example, if you were sharing towels with an infected person, you will probably get sore eyes. The virus will attack the conjunctiva, making it itchy and swollen. Then you will tear to wash the irritant away. But in the case of sore eyes, your tears cannot get rid of the virus.

   It is best to consult a doctor, who will prescribe eye drops. If you have a sore eye, don't rub it as it is likely to spread to the other eye. Don't forget to stay away from people as sore eyes is *infectious.

*inflammation - the reaction of a tissue when infected, resulting in swelling pain, redness and heat.

*infectious - easy to spread.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-25 10:27

>>5

The correct version

SORE EYES (OR CONJUNCTIVITIS)

   Sore eyes is an *inflammation of the conjunctiva, caused by bacteria or virus. The conjunctiva is the thin transparent membrane that covers the front of the eye to protect it.

   You can get sore eyes through contact. For example, if you were sharing towels with an infected person, you will probably get sore eyes. The virus will attack the conjunctiva, making it itchy and swollen. Then you will tear to wash the irritant away. But in the case of sore eyes, your tears cannot get rid of the virus.

   It is best to consult a doctor, who will prescribe eye drops. If you have a sore eye, don't rub it as it is likely to spread to the other eye. Don't forget to stay away from people as sore eyes is *infectious.

*inflammation - the reaction of a tissue when infected, resulting in swelling pain, redness and heat.

*infectious - easy to spread.

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-25 10:45

MUMPS

Mumps is a *viral infection which produces fever and swelling of the *salivary glands. The salivary glands are at the base of your jaw, so that is where you have a large swelling. Mumps is caused by a specific *virus that is similar to the influenza virus. That why the symptoms are often mistaken for influenza.

   The virus spreads from person to person by contact with the droplets expelled in the coughs, sneezes and breath of the infected person. It enters the body through the mouth or nose and has a two-to-three-week incubation period. It means that in the first three weeks the virus multiplies in the body, so there are no symptoms.

   After the incubation period, the patient will have a fever, sore throat, cold or the shivers - all these similar to influenza. Then, the *parotid gland will become tender and swollen, making opening the mouth wide and eating very painful.

   There is no special cure for mumps. The patient should stay in bed and drink plenty of water during the feverish period. However, it is best to consult a doctor, who may prescribe painkillers.

*viral infection - disease caused by a virus

*salivary glands - organs which produce saliva

*virus - smallest known organism causing disease

*parotid gland - one of the salivary glands

Name: Anonymous 2014-01-12 3:06

The many faces of red blood cells

Red blood cells could be the most malleable of all cell types, transforming - among many other forms - into compressed discs capable of going through capillaries with diameters smaller than the blood cell itself.

   Researchers at the Perelman School of Medicine, University of Pennsylvania, have discovered a new geometry that red blood cells assume, when compressed during clot formation.

   They found that red blood cells can be compressed into many-sided, closely packed polyhedral structures (solids with flat faces) in clots - instead of their free-flowing bi-concave, disc shape, said the school in a statement.

   Contracted clots may form a seal and help prevent vascular obstruction, but could resist penetration by drugs that break down fibrin, the structural component of clots - a common treatment option for heart attacks and strokes, the statement said.

Don't change these.
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