Define life

Just wondering about /sci/'s definition of life. None of that made of cells bullcrap. Bonus points for answers which adequately handle fire, viruses, corporations, and artificial intelligence.

Best answer will recieve a box containing a simulation of a universe whose denizens are just on the verge of discovering that their world is a simulation.

>>13
OP here. Congratulations! This thread appears to be winding down (see >>28) and your definition is prettiest. You will be recieving some cardboard in the mail shortly. Please assemble into a box, place yourself inside, and close up.

Let sit for a couple of minutes, and shortly you will have your prize.