How do you wipe your ass?

I used to wipe with standard side to side strokes, then found swirling outside to catch more on the paper.  Lately I've found that sticking the tip of your finger in half an inch will help get out any excess that may come out during the day.  Of course none of this covers the crevices within the lip of the asshole, which have residual deposits.  This attention to inner wiping tends to spread more to the outer wiping phase, but initial outer wiping must be done to clear the excess that initially forms.  What this means is that one session of outer wiping is followed by inner wiping, then outer wiping again.  This entire process may take up to fifteen minutes, and clog a toiler bowl with excess tissue unless two flushes are performed.  The alternative is to wipe on the outside a few times, but of course one may have excess lurking in the aforementioned crevices and regions just waiting within.

So how's kindergarten working out for you?

There's no need to be flippant.  He asked a perfectly valid scientific question.

I wipe with thoroughly with wet wipes. Going in deep and taking a few more minutes is better than getting shit in your boxers.

The French are technologically superior with their bidets and metric systems.

In India, they just use their left hand

>>6
I don't think it's India...

>>7
Listen, am I telling this story or are you? I'm sure it was India, or somewhere east, anyway.

That's why I never eat at Indian restaurants. 

>>1

I eat so much meat, and so little fiber that my shits are solid as a brick anyway.  Most of the time, the paper is coming back clean by the 2nd square.

I always wet the tissue and scrub, followed by another wet tissue with a bit of soap on and then another which I use to squeeze water over my hole then finish off with a little scrub. I have a nice tight muscular ass and a fiber rich diet so I rarely mud pie splatter. My asshole is skin colour, it has not been tattoo'd with shit over the years.

>>11
Wet tissue considered harmful. Enjoy your hemorrhoids.

>>12
link or it didn't happen

|AM I QUOTING SHIT PROPERLY?

>>14
No, that's /sci/'s pipe operator.

[quote] How about now? [/quote]

with hundred dollar bills denied to the working poor that I employ

>>6
muslims, not india, retard.

[quote=18]muslims[/quote]
ok, I think I did it right.

ps. I hate Muslims and Indians.

I just get fairly big chunks of toilet paper, make a wad out of it, slide it through my asshole, get a new one, repeat until there's no shit on the paper.