Pastafarianism is a fairly new religion founded the great prophet, Bobby Henderson. We Pastafarians beleive that the creator is the great Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is the first religion to be based on scientific fact. For example; the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a being with every perfection. Existence is a perfection. Therefore the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists. Interested? Check The Gospel Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, the official Pastafarian Bible, written by our own Bobby Henderson. Find out more, and you too will be touched by His noodly appendage.
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If those characteristics trip your trigger, head down to the local representative of Judeo-Christianity and get signed up. They might need to cut your dick, however. I hope you're ready for a possible dick-cutting.