PROOF THAT GILGAMESH EXISTS

http://www.annointed.net/photopost/data/500/484praying-bear-and-atheist.jpg
The fact that this bear is having sex with this man is proof that GILGAMESH exists. Now all of you "Atheist-Patsers" might be
coming on to me and say "that's just a coincidence, but it's not, the bear is granted its wish of having buttsex with an unconcious ENKIDU, therefore, GILGAMESH AND ENKIDU exists.

FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions):
Does GILGAMESH not exist?

No!

But GILGAMESH didn't cure my step-dad from cancer and he died!

GILGAMESH answers prayers in the form of yes, no and wait, therefore, your step-dad was a retard and needed to be killed.

Does GILGAMESH not not maybe retard not lol exist?

Yes! I mean, no! GILGAMESH DAMNIT! I mean, ENKIDU DAMNIT!

You said GILGAMESH damnit!

Oh, really?

Why is my weener smaller than my little finger?

It's because the amount of testosterone your body possesses is smaller than the amount of pie stored on the 1 Dollar Bill in your backyard.

But-but-but-but-but-but scientists say that the earth is more than 6000 years old, which proves your bible is worthless!

Far from it, GILGAMESH made the earth so we would think that it is more than 10000 years old, but in fact, he's just fooling around with us, because it's 4,2000,000,000 years old, or even less.

The list

[edit] Early Dynastic I
Ante-diluvian kings, legendary, or earlier than ca. the 26th century BC. Their rules are measured in sars - periods of 3600 years - the next unit up after 60 in Sumerian counting (3600 = 60x60), and in ners - units of 600.

"After the kingship descended from heaven, the kingship was in Eridu(g). In Eridu(g), Alulim became king; he ruled for 28800 years."

Alulim of Eridu(g): 8 sars (28800 years)
Alalgar of Eridug: 10 sars (36000 years)
En-Men-Lu-Ana of Bad-Tibira: 12 sars (43200 years)
En-Men-Ana 1, 2
En-Men-Gal-Ana of Bad-Tibira: 8 sars (28800 years)
Dumuzi of Bad-Tibira, the shepherd: 10 sars (36000 years)
En-Sipad-Zid-Ana of Larag: 8 sars (28800 years)
En-Men-Dur-Ana of Zimbir: 5 sars and 5 ners (21000 years)
Ubara-Tutu of Shuruppag: 5 sars and 1 ner (18600 years)
Zin-Suddu 1

[edit] Early Dynastic II
ca. 26th century BC. Many rulers known from contemporary inscriptions are not found in the King Lists.

"After the flood had swept over, and the kingship had descended from heaven, the kingship was in Kish."


[edit] First Dynasty of Kish
Jushur of Kish: 1200 years
Kullassina-bel of Kish: 960 years
Nangishlishma of Kish: 670 years
En-Tarah-Ana of Kish: 420 years
Babum of Kish: 300 years
Puannum of Kish: 840 years
Kalibum of Kish: 960 years
Kalumum of Kish: 840 years
Zuqaqip of Kish: 900 years
Atab of Kish: 600 years
Mashda of Kish: 840 years
Arwium of Kish: 720 years
Etana of Kish, the shepherd, who ascended to heaven and consolidated all the foreign countries: 1500 years
Balih of Kish: 400 years
En-Me-Nuna of Kish: 660 years
Melem-Kish of Kish: 900 years
Barsal-Nuna of Kish: 1200 years
Zamug of Kish: 140 years
Tizqar of Kish: 305 years
Ilku of Kish: 900 years
Iltasadum of Kish: 1200 years
En-Men-Barage-Si of Kish, who conquered Elam: 900 years (this is the earliest ruler in the list who is confirmed independently from epigraphical evidence)
Aga of Kish: 625 years
Then Kish was defeated and the kingship was taken to E-ana.

[edit] First Dynasty of Uruk
Mesh-ki-ang-gasher of E-ana, son of Utu: 324 years.
Mesh-ki-ang-gasher went into the Sea and disappeared.

Enmerkar, who built Unug: 420 years
Lugalbanda of Unug, the shepherd: 1200 years
Dumuzid of Unug, the fisherman: 100 years. Captured En-Men-Barage-Si of Kish.
Gilgamesh, whose father was a "phantom", lord of Kulaba: 126 years.
Ur-Nungal of Unug: 30 years
Udul-Kalama of Unug: 15 years
La-Ba'shum of Unug: 9 years
En-Nun-Tarah-Ana of Unug: 8 years
Mesh-He of Unug: 36 years
Melem-Ana of Unug: 6 years
Lugal-Kitun of Unug: 36 years
Then Uruk was defeated and the kingship was taken to Urim.

TL:DR I'm posting an image of a bear fucking a person.

>>5
Gilgamesh's supposed historical reign is believed to lie within the period 2700 BC to 2500 BC, 200-400 years before the earliest known written stories. The discovery of artifacts associated with Agga and Enmebaragesi of Kish, two other kings named in the stories, has lent credibility to the historical existence of Gilgamesh

>>5
GO AND FUCK YOUR BIBLE
200-400 years before the earliest known written stories

>>5
>>6

It's still some sort of crazy religious shit made by someone with barely a grasp of story-telling.

I'm feeling really keen, for some of that good ol' green

Marijuana MUST be legalized.