It was a dark and rainy night in august. Jack, as always went to the pud across the street of his workplace for one or two drinks. Jack thought of a database interface he was supposed to write in C# until tuesday. He saw trough his papers, when he suddenly noticed a beautifull woman in a green dress, wonderfull long blonde hair. He sat there on his chair, stunned from such never seen beauty. The woman slowly turned her head, noticed him and came over to him, asking if this place was already taken. After just looking at her ten seconds long before he could say no with his last remaining energy. She slowly sat next to jack and with said with a soft and erotic voice: "Hi, my name is laura." . Jack responded in a deep voice: "Im jack." . after coming to his senses, he remembered that he is late with his work. Jack continued looking trough his papers, searching for a efficent way to traverse trough large trees. "What are you doing, jack?" laura said in her naturaly erotic voice. "trying to find a ..." said jack, "A what ?" asked laura, "Ah, thats complicated." responded he. "Why dont you explain it to me, maybe i can help you" she said. In a fustrated manner he answered "I need to write a program from which my company can access a database.", "in what language are you writing it?" she asked. "In C#" he answered quickly. "I prefer lisp" she said in a hypnotic tone that almost made Jack cum. These word echoed in his head, like eternal it seemed to him. He sat there and stared at her, "But im just a little amateur programer.", Laura added in a naive manner. "Its beautiful and clean." she said. Laura leaned slowly towards jack and asked: "How about i show you some of my code?". In his deep inner he thought of the odds how such a little man like himself could ever be granted a moment with such a godess. After the both arived at Lauras house, she asked jack if he wanted some coffee, "no, thanks" he answered. "You run linux?", Jack asked when he saw the GNU GRUB2 1.97 screen at startup, "Oh yes" she said. After she logged herself in trough xdm, emacs started up by itself. Laura opened her directory and then opened a file containing code for a php emulator she wrote. Jack was paralized of the beauty and simplicity of the program, so powerfull yet so simple he thought himself. He kept looking at the code, he didnt notice that laura sat herself next to him on the bed. Slowly she touched his knee with her soft hand. Jack was still concentrated on the program, so he didnt notice that her hand was allready on his crotch. Laura enjoyd this, it was pleasent for her that the code has a such nice sideeffect. She grabed his head and turned it towards her face. With her red as the BSD devil lips she kissed jack. With great haste he started taking of her green dress whilist kissing her on the mouth and later the neck, revealing her soft lightly brown skin. Jack noticed her bright red bra. She then touched him on his chest and pushed him on the bed. As he laid there with his mouth wide open, heavely breathing, staring at her smiling red lips, she untied his shirt slowly. "Why so hasty there big guy." she said after taking his shirt of. She licked his chest whilist taking of his pants, jack could barly manage not to orgasm. Jack could not hold it anymore and kissed her passionatly while taking of her bra. With his eyes closed he kissed her fluffy nipples, slowly his tounge headed towards her red panties. He then softly touched her back and his hand slided down towards her butt, pulling of here panties. Jack only saw the panties coming of her legs, her vagina covered by them. As soft as a rose he imagened her vagina, her legs slowly onfolded with a bright smile on her face. When the legs suddenly were opened, jack was frozen in terror. What he saw was so shocking that he would shake when thinking of sex. Out of her soft vagina came a long black snake. The snake crawled towards him and opened its mouth. For a moment jack thought his life was over, which in some sense is true. The snake then said: "Have you read your SICP today?", while the music of the SICP lectures was playing in the background. It crawled towards the window and said: "i cant find the keys for my car.", it left and jack was cowering fear in a corner, naked. Out of suddent the snake returned and said: "also, my other car is a cdr.". He then looked at laura and she said: "Wow that was some gr8 sex", she put on a pair of jeans and a shirt with the face of the sussman. After that she said in a slow voice: "im putting my wizard hat and wizard robe.". she then put on her hat and robe. She then quickly went towards the window, put her legs out of the window and said to jack: "read your fucking SICP!". She then fell out of the 5th floor and disapeared. "Read SICP?" jack said to himself, "Read SICP." said the snake that came out of his pants and disapeared into the rain. "hey jack, can you drive me home? my car is broken and my cdr is nil lol.", the snake said again which now came out of his anus. Ever since jack is only reading SICP, engaing in anal hacking, using linux and programing in lisp. THE END?
Take out the papers and the trash
Or you don't get no spendin' cash
If you don't scrub that kitchen floor
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more
Bumpity bump (don't sage back)