Any languages with a homogenous syntax?

I've come to realize that the best, sweetest, most readable syntax would be homogenous. That is, every line must have the same structure: either the meaning-defining token must always be at the front of the line, or at the back. And the first case is the best. That way you can always tell what is going on in a line of code by looking at just the first token. No more bullshit like that:

int main() { // But it's not an int, it's a definition of a procedure!
  double scores[3]; // But we're not doubling anything, we're defining something!
  scores[0] = 1.5; // But we're not scoring anything, we're performing an assignment!
  scores[1] = 2.5; // And we're not assigning to scores, we're assigning to its elements!
  scores[2] = 3.5; // Same error as above;

  // We're not couting anything! In fact it's hard to make out visually what is going on
  // as we are calling array accesses, listing literals and calling the <<. This is
  // an absolutely unreadable line.
  cout << scores[0] << '\t' << scores[1] << '\t' << scores[2] << endl;
 
  // Finally, an easily readable, well-syntaxed line!
  return 0;
}

And no more bullshit like that too:
    alloca $ \erroffset -> do
      -- "pcre_ptr" is not what this line does, it shouldn't be up front!
      pcre_ptr <- c_pcre_compile pattern (combineOptions flags) errptr
      erroffset nullPtr -- This one's OK.
      if pcre_ptr == nullPtr
        then do
          -- This is a clusterfuck! Not only is "err" unworthy of being at the front,
          -- but also the order of calls is reversed the first call is "peek"
          -- which comes almost last but not the last in the line! Absolutely unreadable!
          err <- peekCString =<< peek errptr
          return (Left err)
        else do
          reg <- newForeignPtr finalizerFree pcre_ptr
          return (Right (Regex reg str))

No, I want a language in which every line conforms to the most eye-soothing rule of all: explain yourself up front so I don't have to go on a missing persons searching expedition just to find out what you're doing.

Are there any languages with a syntax like that, /porg/?

hax my anus

Lisp?

shenlanguage.org maybe?

Honestly, I don't know if it's even possible at the moment. We'd have to understand all which is possible with programming within the foreseeable future to create such a language. So, the truth is programming at the core is still an art form. Standardizing syntax often fail to evolve as new ideas and constraints are introduced.

This especially convinces me that visual languages will remain cumbersome in the long run. Nothing is as concise as a textual language. Only your lack knowledge hinders the clarity. Although visual languages certainly aid learning such knowledge, I fail to see a way for such a language to evolve with ideas when most textual language cannot. The probable result is writing visual comments in the same way text books have diagrams.

>NIGGERS NIGGERS NIGGERS HEIDBUSNSJE ISUUEJEJEISHXUUCHEHEIEUnfnr玉が矢田や得て正田は荒谷アフまさ田畑らアバタ沙汰覚めならなら他様なあやアバタ沙汰なあや新たは他はてあや亜ハアハアやあやてた羽田やあよ絵巻巻が詰めむむ夢魔釜釜彼方やあやあなあ寝た腹奈良や花秘RS NIGGERS NIGGERS HEIDBUSNSJE ISUUEJEJEISHXUUCHEHEIEUnfnr玉が矢田や得て正田は荒谷アフまさ田畑らアバタ沙汰覚めならなら他様なあやアバタ沙汰なあや新たは他はてあや亜ハアハアやあやてた羽田やあよ絵巻巻が詰めむむ夢魔釜釜彼方やあやあなあ寝た腹奈良や花秘話は輪は罠や穴絵かてなあやあε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘CUNT
話は輪は罠や穴絵かRS NIGGERS NIGGERS HEIDBUSNSJE ISUUEJEJEISHXUUCHEHEIEUnfnr玉が矢田や得て正田は荒谷アフまさ田畑らアバタ沙汰覚めならなら他様なあやアバタ沙汰なあや新たは他は秘話は輪は罠や穴絵かてなあやあε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘CUNT
RS NIGGERS NIGGERS HEIDBUSNSJE ISUUEJEJEISHXUUCHEHEIEUnfnr玉が矢田や得て正田は荒谷アフまさ田畑らアバタ沙汰覚めならなら他様なあやアバタ沙汰なあや新たは他はてあや亜ハアハアやあやてた羽田やあよ絵巻巻が詰めむむ夢魔釜釜彼方やあやあなあ寝た腹奈良や花秘話は輪は罠や穴絵かてなあやあε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘CUNT
てなあやあε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘CUNT

>N̢IGG͡Ę͜R҉S̶̛ N̶Í̡͠G̴Ģ̷E̡͞RS͠͞ ̶Ņ̢͡ĮG͏̀GER̢͘S̴ ̛̕͠Ḩ̨̨E͏̶I̶҉D̷B̸̀͞Ų҉͝S̛N̷̵͠S̷J̸E̸ ҉̢I͏S̀͘U͘U͢E̕͡J҉̡E҉J҉͟EI̷S̨͠H̡X͢͞U̢U͞C̸̡͡H͢Ȩ̴HE͏I̷̵͝Ę̶͡Un͘fn̕r̸̨͞玉̸̧が̧҉矢̷̧田̴͟͏や͜͢͠得て̧͟͜正田̧̛͞は̛҉荒̶́͏谷͏アフ͡ま̵͘さ́͘͢田̸͝畑̢らア͞͏バ̵́タ͢͏沙̵͜汰͡覚め̢͘͟な҉̕ら̷͝な҉̸͝ら̷他様な̶̨あ̷̵や̵̷͜ア̢̨̀バタ̵沙͠汰̨な̴̛あ͟҉や͝新҉た͟͟は̸̧他̨は͘͘て̸҉あ̴͝や̨̕亜ハ҉̶͢ア̛̕͠ハ̧̀ア̛͞͠や̧̨あ̷やてた͞羽̵̴͜田̵̡͝や̛͡あ҉̀よ̛͢絵̀͜巻巻が͘͡҉詰̨̡̕めむ͞͡む̕夢̵͢魔̛̛͞釜̡͠釜彼͝͏方̸やあ͜͝や̧̨あなあ͠寝̢た̡̀腹奈҉͡良̀や̶̸花̨秘R̡S͢͞͡ ̴̡N҉ĮG͡G̛̕͞E͢͜R̸̸S̴ ̸N̨I͠͞G͘͡G̕ER̴͝Ş͝ ͏̴H̕͝É̷ID͞B͞U̸͞SN͜S͠JE̢ ISUU̶͟EJ͢E͟JE͟I̴S̴͞HX͜ÚU̴CHE̸H̶͘E̶͠I̴̷EU͜͏͏nf͏͠n͜r玉が҉̵矢͏͟田́͝や得͟て正̸͘田͟͜は̶̡荒͝͝谷̵́̕ア̧フ͘͝ま͘さ͡田̵̨̀畑̶̷̧ら͝ア̷͝バ͞タ沙̧̡͜汰覚̨め̵̢な͢ら̶͠なら̛͟他̧様̨̛͟な҉あ́や̸ア̸͝バ̛͠タ沙҉͟汰҉な̡͟͡あ̵̛や̴͡新̶͘͝た̶は͢他は̛て̸̨̨あ̨͘͠や亜̶͝ハアハ̡͞͏ア̨̢や҉̡あ́͜や̢͜て͜た̨羽田̷や̵あ̨̛よ絵̴̡巻巻͡が̷͜詰̵͢め̛͢͢む͢む̛夢̢͠魔̴͢釜̨͘釜̶̸͢彼҉̢方や̛̕あ̷́や̴あな̴あ̸寝̛た̴腹̶奈̵̡̛良̛͠や͏花͜秘͞話̷は̵͜輪̸͢は͏罠̨̕や̶穴̵̨͟絵҉か̀て̡̛な̡̛͞あ͘や͢あ҉̵ε̴=έ̛́=҉̕ε̛=̨ε͘=͟ε̢͝=̧ε͢=̧͟┌͘(̶̀́;￣̀͝◇̢̧￣͜͠)̧┘̸͞ε̸͘=̨͞έ̶͠=͢ε͘=́͠ε=̡ε̷͘=̶ε̨=┌͞(͢҉;͘￣̀͠◇͏́￣͏̵͘)͞┘̡ε̸=̵͜͜ε̨=ε͢=҉ε̛͡=ε̸͠=ε≠͜͟┌̷̢͠(͟;￣҉◇̴͢￣)̧͡҉┘̛̕C͢Ú̸͞Ņ̶͘T͡

>̯̣̬̯̰̯ͪͬ͋ͫ̆͢͝ ͔̥̙̩̮̩͌͂̈̂͐͗̓̒ͥ̕ͅŅ̵͎̱͌̎̄ͧ̇̋I̤̰̠̮͎̞ͫ̈͗̈́ͭ̀ͣ́Ģ̥̺͚̖ͤ́͋ͥͅG̸͎̩̠̾͆̔ͣ͆͟Ḙ̵̼̓̈̊͂ͤ̚R̭̭͖͐̌̓ͣͭS̮̮̗̈́̒͌͆̃ ̡̨̣̟̫̘̞̻͍͍ͤ̑͡N̷̛̪͔̮̳͉̩̟ͥͭ͗̿̎͐ͪ͜ͅI̫̺̬̙͑̄̑̊̔́G̫͈ͩͪ̓̆̌͂̚G̮̘̟̳̜̗̬͇̾̋ͧ̿̇̌͢͜Ȇ͍̘̫͂͆̔ͦ͊͘͝R̨̫̹̣̭͍͍̖̫̍Ṣ̢̞̜̼̐ͬ́̀̑ͦͯ̀͠ ̴̙̬͎͌̇͂̑H͈̦̟͎̱̼̊̋̇ͩ́̅͂̈́̕E̷̠̤̟͛͌̉̿̈͊̐̀͠I̤͚̼͍͔͋̒̐̂̈ͨ́D͙̮̿͒̏̄ͥ͋B͍͙͗̏̊Ȕ̼̰̗̦ͤͩ͂̊̊̎͜Ṣ̣̤̮̆̎N̷͍͔̩̼̹̝̫ͯ͗ͤͮ̉͢S̺͚̝͈̼̈́͊͢J̶̨̝̦͎̜̜̥̰͆ͫͬͯ̌̌̉ͫ͞ͅE̢̳͎ͫ͋ͫ͐ͨ͒͠ ̸͈̦̭̱̣̈́̋ͪ͑̆̽ͅI̗͈̳̝͈̩ͮ̾̃ͣ̍͐̀S̨̨̖͔̎͋͟U̻̳̱̪̭ͪ̆͛͛͑ͨ̈́ͫ͜Ǘ͙̱̯̭̬͉̄̅̿͂ͫ́̚͠E̫̯̖̝̮̺ͩ̑̎ͨJ̓ͮ̆̄͊ͯͤͩ҉̥̬̫̳͈ͅË̹̼̘̲͔̗̰͇͐͊͌͂̓ͤ́̕J͈̻̫͋ͫ̾̽̾̈͒͢E͔͚̖̝̗̤̥ͣ̓̊ͪͭ͠Ḯ̷͇̰̰̭̲̻́͟S̱̜̼͚͕̣͍̽̐͛̉͊H̲̳ͫ͋̀͂̑̒̅͜X̘̙̰̹͓͔ͮͦ̿̀́̃̌̅̚͟Ù̷̠͇̹͋̊ͪͧ́U͉̥̦̺͍̙̟̹̍̉̈ͨ̐ͨ̄ͧ̓́C̠̻͈̖̟ͦͮ͆́̄ͨ͡͡͝Ḥ͉͔͖͒̅̔ͤ̆̈́Ę͍̑̿ͦ̓̾ͥͅH̼̞͎͔̮ͪͮ̃ͦͣͪ͠E̴̝̼̥̟̲ͮ̿ͤ̃̐͢I̺̦̥̬͙̝ͣ̐ͯ͘͞ͅÈ͓̹͉̠̫̈̀ͬͅͅU͎̣̾̆̉ͤ́͡n̨̞͎̼̞̲̞͎ͤ̉̊̈́̅͠f̾ͨͫ͠҉̺̻n̶̠̫̂̊̓ͣ͡r͚̫̰ͮͯͮ̃͂͆̐̐̀͡玉͉̥̦̜͓̀̈̓͂̓が̨̤͈̻̀̒̉矢͍̤̭̅͑̒̌̎̒田̵͇̹̝̥̼̖͔̦ͪ̍͊̅̔や̷ͣͫ̃ͨͥͣ̇̀҉̘͙͎̦得̦̜̥̼̤͎̘͔̳̃̅͟͠て̗̤̙͕͍̔ͫ̅正̥̭̰̐͂ͥ̓̽͐̔͢田̷̹͊̂ͤͫ̓̉̿は̫̫͍̞͐͊͆ͣͣ荒̶̨͕̖ͦ͘ͅ谷̛͍̞͈̺̗͉̽͂̉ͫ̌̆ͮ̀ア̱͎͈̣̦̝̠̲̤͑ͬ̍͟フ͂ͬ̈́̈҉̟̩̯̠̼ま̨͍̜̝̣̹̜̙͚̥̿́̑ͪ̾ͯͣ̈́͜さ̶̙̟̬̱̭̙ͮ͆̄͘ͅ田̷̣͍̥̬̒̑̀ͪ͂͟畑̨̢̤̜͕̹̮͔̬̊̀ͣ́́ら͉̭̞͍ͥͮ͂͒̔͊ア͓̾̆̂̑̓̾͋͂̾バ̨̭̥̬̲̥̀ͩタ̿̅ͨͮͤ͒̒͠҉̼͍̼͍̘͇͉͓沙̡̠͖̥͔̝̠͕͔͉̿͋͊̅̆̀͌汰͔̊̀͗͂̑̍ͣ̀̀覚̘̝̍͗͊͌ͬめ͚̠̙̹̹̝̯ͮͯͥ͌̕な̓͗̏̈́ͤͫͬ͏̙̝́ら͕̳͇̲̻̹̓ͪ̓̓̔な̡̪̰̔̇̉ͯ̄̏̾ら̺̜̈̀̇̿ͭ̌͘͞他̸̞̫͚͕̦̹̠̘̗ͧ͐͒̑ͣ̒̽͡様̺̥͍̗̖̽ͩ̽ͯͬ̓ͬ͐͜ͅな̨ͧ̋̏ͩ̈́ͩ̌҉̷̭̘あ̡̻͈͚̯̖̯̤̠̫̔̐や̥͇̈́ͨͯ̉͜ア̡̻̹͚̫̤͇͖̟͒̃̈́ͫ͑̈́̓̊̓バ̛ͭ͂̐͏̝̳̻タ̴̭̊̈ͧ͟͡沙̷͖̲͇͔͔ͧ͑̈́̑ͫ̔͆̀͢汰ͧ̌̿̓ͬ҉̬͓な̜̙̻̙͑͆̒͞あ̫̫̥͂ͫ́̐͋̀や̷͔̟̰͚̪̯̹̍͂ͭ̋ͤ͋̔ͭ͝新͍̱̥̤̙͂̈̏́͑ͯ̓ͯ̕͟たͬ͋̇͏҉҉̲̭は͈̠͈̟͙̻̱͓͆̾͐͌̓͊̇ͭ̓͜他̤̯̜̼͉̳͂̎ͪ͐͒ͪ̋は̻̞̰̥ͫ̐てͨͩ͑̄ͧ̑͐̾͐͝҉̤̩̣͉̮̻あ̷̶̞̣̳̬̟̬͕̜͚ͪ̄̋́͆̌ͯ̑̚͜や͈͆ͪ̀ͧ͟͟͜亜̵̳ͪ̐̓ͤ̿̽ͯハ̴͔̰̣ͯ͝ア̨̫̱̖͈̖͗͗͛ハ̰͓̩̺̟̆ͬͤͭͥ͂ͧ̀ア̷̪͕̤̭̟͇̼̎̅̈́ͩͫ͟ͅͅや̮͎̳̘̖̺̪ͫͫ́̇̀͐あ̨͖̯̥̩̺̮̰͊ͬͫ̔͆͜や̧͚͍̃͂̒̉ͧ̉̆̄̄て̼̦́͑͂た̮ͤ̚羽̢͍̭̞ͭ̄̓田̼̳̹̝̐͐̎͢͡͞や̢̳̬̪̹̙̥̝ͦ͊͆̀あ̞͔̬̗̥̘̬̯̋̈ͬ̆̃̄よ̢ͬ̎ͭ҉̹͓絵̃̂ͫ̿̏҉̶̲̜巻̸͓̓̓̑͂͒͊ͣ̚巻̵̖͆̅̂̐ͧ̄̚が̸̼ͪ̚詰̨̦̲̩̩̥̮͚́̾̋め̊ͥ͊͐̎ͥ҉͉̤́む̴ͯ͆̀̍ͫͮ͆҉̠͓̠̦͍む̽̋͝҉̤͙̬͘夢̧̱̪͛ͯͯ̉͠魔̪͕̟̘̰̹̬̄̎͗̽ͭ͗ͣ́͠͠釜̢̻̝ͥͣͬ̆̑̀̚釜̹͓̳̞̪̖̺̭̜́ͤ̔̉̂ͩ͊ͣ͟彼̢̮̩͍̫̗͔̥̙̒̀̊方̨͔̫̳̯ͮ̂̅̋̉ͫ̅̑ͨ͝ͅや͗̊͗ͨͯ͏̝̪͚あ̥̳͇̤̭̥ͬ̕͢や̺͕̩̟̠ͦ̀̉ͭͯͅあ͛ͩ̍̒͗͡͏͍̪̪̼͇̖̝̰̗な̷̜͚̺̝̝ͯ̌̑̾̍ͬ̆̓̚あ̯͙͙̀̅寝͚̖̱͔̳̥̭̱͖ͣ̿̿̓ͩ̽̅̈́͘た͒̕҉̘腹̧̩̖̣̗͚̜̤̂̂ͮ͂̂̽́奈͚̭̰̳̟́͑̍͊̈ͮ̉ͤ良̸ͦ̓ͬ͂̅̒̚҉̝̤̖̝̮͓̰ͅや̨̢̲͇̺͙̼̞̈́͋ͮͣ̒̋花̴̗͕͕̩͕͇̖͈̇̂̿͂̀͆ͬͣ͠秘̢̗̼̬͕ͣ̀̋ͬ͑話͎̼͍̖̳͍͒̂͘は̮̉̆ͧ͆̓̄̓̎͠輪̹͖̞̪̬̓ͤ͌̒͋͌̉ͬ̂͟は̣̹͌̉ͦ̇罠̛̝̲͕̖͍̺̺ͬͮや͊͒͌̊̾ͮͧ҉̶̫̥̘̦穴̢̦̙͍͖͍̰̣̊ͤͪ̐̕͟絵̶̨͔͍͎͆̽ͦ̅͌͌͞か̵̙̞͈̭̽ͬ͆͊ͬ̇ͬ́て͙̘̭͉͋̽̔ͮ̓̍ͩ̒ͫ̕な̯ͣ̋̓͡あ̵̜̖ͧͨ͊ͯ̕ͅや̢̻̻͍̤̯̉あ̧̳̲̲̯̬͚̘̊̄ͯ͘͘ε͙̲̩̱͈͓ͨ̄̀̄͘≠̛̲̜͌́ͪ͌ε͉̤̜̮̺̂̽͊ͅ=̱̤͍̣̟̹̟͋̾̆̄̾̅̓͠ε̹̩̖̝̜̬͉̫͉ͧ̊̋ͩ̋ͧ=̡̢̣̫ͥͫε̴̵̳͖͖̤͎̦͙͐ͮͦ̎ͯ́=͙͚̰̟̝̹ͭͥ͝ε̸̦̗͎̬̻̅ͫͬͬ̔͂̏̑̀̀͘=̫ͫͫ̚̚ε̷̤͈͖͂͆ͧ̓͌̈̄ͫ̑͠=̝̘̞͓̟̺̝̠͆͊̍┌͕̦̣͆̽̂̇ͭ͆̀͢͡(̛̗̣̬̈́̈͌̊̏̐̆͂;ͥ̈ͮ̓̓ͮ̀͏̨͉̼̤̤￣͕̺̩̣̮ͯ͐ͥͬ◇̞̥̩̯͖̻̓͒̽ͫ̑̀͟￣̨̳̝͓͓̃̾ͨ)̶̧̫̪͛̔́͘┘͓̻̖͉͔̤̮ͩ̂ͭ̾ͭε̴̺̫̣͚̹̥̆̈͂̅͢͢=͓̰̠̖̮̭͚̺̥ͬ̐̎͊̄͗ͮ͜ἑ͉͓̰̖̥̰ͫͪ͆̀≠͇̝̠̣̘̺̇̇͗̎ͮ̔ͨ͝ͅε͐̊̊͆҉̯̤̝̳=̷ͬ́̌ͥͯ͌͡҉̮̼̦ε̛̰͍͔͎̬̾͆̀=̑̄͆͋̎̄ͣͨ̋͏̭͖̦ε͓̯̭̯̞̙̮͕̊ͤ̌͌̊=̭͖͙̥̠̪̜̱̿̓̑ε̡̭̦̇͑̋̒̅ͭ=̮̹̰̘͙͌̔ͮ͛͒̃̾̍͜┌̨̢̺̭̏͗ͫ̃̊̆ͤ́(̻͔̗̮͗ͪ͞;̲̘̑̓͒͋̐̏ͦ́̌͘￣̷̗͔̖̋́͗͊ͧͤ̓◇̴̮̪͙̟̭̬̟͍̋̾̄̒ͤͯ́￣̨̮͍ͣ̄̾͜͡)̸̗̼̣͔͓̅┘̡̻͍̘̠͕͖̩̺͚ͭͪ͌̆́͜ὲ̨͎̤̆̀͜=̧ͭ̅͝͏̟̠̱̯̰̱̜̭ε̬̠͉͂̔͢=̨̜͚̰̹̫͍ͧ̾̑̎̈ε͖̯̏̔͗͊͜=̬͍̟̝̻̲̹͍̇̏͘͠ε̷͚̠̦̘̤̃̌ͮ̽̑̚͝=͙̙̩ͨε̨̿̈͏̪͔̲̖̞͔̟̰͓=̶̬͖̙͙̹͙̱ͧ͛̊̓̌ͯͮ̚ε͙̌̏̕=̶̶͓̩̠͈͋̄͑̏̌͒ͅ┌͉͈̫̲͐̀ͬ́͊(̷̜͖̪̪͋ͪ͛͢ͅ;̨̝̘̩̺̱̞͉̼͉̓̌͋ͫ￣̰̫̊͌͜͠◇̹͚̦͋ͪ́̚̕͞￣̑͛̑̍ͮ̍̏̚͏̸͈̼̥̕)̖̤̒ͮͩ̕┘̛̠ͤ̽̽͜C̺͍͑ͬ̿ͮ̐U̧̫͇̘̱̼̦̖͋̍͊ͥ̐N̝̯͙̗̭̳̝̑T̶̟̭̤̪̠͔͇̯͙͑̐̔̓̅

>>5-7
fuck off pedorider admin spamming fagshit

Assembly.

ＳＱＬ

But we're not doubling anything

>̯̣̬̯̰̯ͪͬ͋ͫ̆͢͝ ͔̥̙̩̮̩͌͂̈̂͐͗̓̒ͥ̕ͅŅ̵͎̱͌̎̄ͧ̇̋I̤̰̠̮͎̞ͫ̈͗̈́ͭ̀ͣ́Ģ̥̺͚̖ͤ́͋ͥͅG̸͎̩̠̾͆̔ͣ͆͟Ḙ̵̼̓̈̊͂ͤ̚R̭̭͖͐̌̓ͣͭS̮̮̗̈́̒͌͆̃ ̡̨̣̟̫̘̞̻͍͍ͤ̑͡N̷̛̪͔̮̳͉̩̟ͥͭ͗̿̎͐ͪ͜ͅI̫̺̬̙͑̄̑̊̔́G̫͈ͩͪ̓̆̌͂̚G̮̘̟̳̜̗̬͇̾̋ͧ̿̇̌͢͜Ȇ͍̘̫͂͆̔ͦ͊͘͝R̨̫̹̣̭͍͍̖̫̍Ṣ̢̞̜̼̐ͬ́̀̑ͦͯ̀͠ ̴̙̬͎͌̇͂̑H͈̦̟͎̱̼̊̋̇ͩ́̅͂̈́̕E̷̠̤̟͛͌̉̿̈͊̐̀͠I̤͚̼͍͔͋̒̐̂̈ͨ́D͙̮̿͒̏̄ͥ͋B͍͙͗̏̊Ȕ̼̰̗̦ͤͩ͂̊̊̎͜Ṣ̣̤̮̆̎N̷͍͔̩̼̹̝̫ͯ͗ͤͮ̉͢S̺͚̝͈̼̈́͊͢J̶̨̝̦͎̜̜̥̰͆ͫͬͯ̌̌̉ͫ͞ͅE̢̳͎ͫ͋ͫ͐ͨ͒͠ ̸͈̦̭̱̣̈́̋ͪ͑̆̽ͅI̗͈̳̝͈̩ͮ̾̃ͣ̍͐̀S̨̨̖͔̎͋͟U̻̳̱̪̭ͪ̆͛͛͑ͨ̈́ͫ͜Ǘ͙̱̯̭̬͉̄̅̿͂ͫ́̚͠E̫̯̖̝̮̺ͩ̑̎ͨJ̓ͮ̆̄͊ͯͤͩ҉̥̬̫̳͈ͅË̹̼̘̲͔̗̰͇͐͊͌͂̓ͤ́̕J͈̻̫͋ͫ̾̽̾̈͒͢E͔͚̖̝̗̤̥ͣ̓̊ͪͭ͠Ḯ̷͇̰̰̭̲̻́͟S̱̜̼͚͕̣͍̽̐͛̉͊H̲̳ͫ͋̀͂̑̒̅͜X̘̙̰̹͓͔ͮͦ̿̀́̃̌̅̚͟Ù̷̠͇̹͋̊ͪͧ́U͉̥̦̺͍̙̟̹̍̉̈ͨ̐ͨ̄ͧ̓́C̠̻͈̖̟ͦͮ͆́̄ͨ͡͡͝Ḥ͉͔͖͒̅̔ͤ̆̈́Ę͍̑̿ͦ̓̾ͥͅH̼̞͎͔̮ͪͮ̃ͦͣͪ͠E̴̝̼̥̟̲ͮ̿ͤ̃̐͢I̺̦̥̬͙̝ͣ̐ͯ͘͞ͅÈ͓̹͉̠̫̈̀ͬͅͅU͎̣̾̆̉ͤ́͡n̨̞͎̼̞̲̞͎ͤ̉̊̈́̅͠f̾ͨͫ͠҉̺̻n̶̠̫̂̊̓ͣ͡r͚̫̰ͮͯͮ̃͂͆̐̐̀͡玉͉̥̦̜͓̀̈̓͂̓が̨̤͈̻̀̒̉矢͍̤̭̅͑̒̌̎̒田̵͇̹̝̥̼̖͔̦ͪ̍͊̅̔や̷ͣͫ̃ͨͥͣ̇̀҉̘͙͎̦得̦̜̥̼̤͎̘͔̳̃̅͟͠て̗̤̙͕͍̔ͫ̅正̥̭̰̐͂ͥ̓̽͐̔͢田̷̹͊̂ͤͫ̓̉̿は̫̫͍̞͐͊͆ͣͣ荒̶̨͕̖ͦ͘ͅ谷̛͍̞͈̺̗͉̽͂̉ͫ̌̆ͮ̀ア̱͎͈̣̦̝̠̲̤͑ͬ̍͟フ͂ͬ̈́̈҉̟̩̯̠̼ま̨͍̜̝̣̹̜̙͚̥̿́̑ͪ̾ͯͣ̈́͜さ̶̙̟̬̱̭̙ͮ͆̄͘ͅ田̷̣͍̥̬̒̑̀ͪ͂͟畑̨̢̤̜͕̹̮͔̬̊̀ͣ́́ら͉̭̞͍ͥͮ͂͒̔͊ア͓̾̆̂̑̓̾͋͂̾バ̨̭̥̬̲̥̀ͩタ̿̅ͨͮͤ͒̒͠҉̼͍̼͍̘͇͉͓沙̡̠͖̥͔̝̠͕͔͉̿͋͊̅̆̀͌汰͔̊̀͗͂̑̍ͣ̀̀覚̘̝̍͗͊͌ͬめ͚̠̙̹̹̝̯ͮͯͥ͌̕な̓͗̏̈́ͤͫͬ͏̙̝́ら͕̳͇̲̻̹̓ͪ̓̓̔な̡̪̰̔̇̉ͯ̄̏̾ら̺̜̈̀̇̿ͭ̌͘͞他̸̞̫͚͕̦̹̠̘̗ͧ͐͒̑ͣ̒̽͡様̺̥͍̗̖̽ͩ̽ͯͬ̓ͬ͐͜ͅな̨ͧ̋̏ͩ̈́ͩ̌҉̷̭̘あ̡̻͈͚̯̖̯̤̠̫̔̐や̥͇̈́ͨͯ̉͜ア̡̻̹͚̫̤͇͖̟͒̃̈́ͫ͑̈́̓̊̓バ̛ͭ͂̐͏̝̳̻タ̴̭̊̈ͧ͟͡沙̷͖̲͇͔͔ͧ͑̈́̑ͫ̔͆̀͢汰ͧ̌̿̓ͬ҉̬͓な̜̙̻̙͑͆̒͞あ̫̫̥͂ͫ́̐͋̀や̷͔̟̰͚̪̯̹̍͂ͭ̋ͤ͋̔ͭ͝新͍̱̥̤̙͂̈̏́͑ͯ̓ͯ̕͟たͬ͋̇͏҉҉̲̭は͈̠͈̟͙̻̱͓͆̾͐͌̓͊̇ͭ̓͜他̤̯̜̼͉̳͂̎ͪ͐͒ͪ̋は̻̞̰̥ͫ̐てͨͩ͑̄ͧ̑͐̾͐͝҉̤̩̣͉̮̻あ̷̶̞̣̳̬̟̬͕̜͚ͪ̄̋́͆̌ͯ̑̚͜や͈͆ͪ̀ͧ͟͟͜亜̵̳ͪ̐̓ͤ̿̽ͯハ̴͔̰̣ͯ͝ア̨̫̱̖͈̖͗͗͛ハ̰͓̩̺̟̆ͬͤͭͥ͂ͧ̀ア̷̪͕̤̭̟͇̼̎̅̈́ͩͫ͟ͅͅや̮͎̳̘̖̺̪ͫͫ́̇̀͐あ̨͖̯̥̩̺̮̰͊ͬͫ̔͆͜や̧͚͍̃͂̒̉ͧ̉̆̄̄て̼̦́͑͂た̮ͤ̚羽̢͍̭̞ͭ̄̓田̼̳̹̝̐͐̎͢͡͞や̢̳̬̪̹̙̥̝ͦ͊͆̀あ̞͔̬̗̥̘̬̯̋̈ͬ̆̃̄よ̢ͬ̎ͭ҉̹͓絵̃̂ͫ̿̏҉̶̲̜巻̸͓̓̓̑͂͒͊ͣ̚巻̵̖͆̅̂̐ͧ̄̚が̸̼ͪ̚詰̨̦̲̩̩̥̮͚́̾̋め̊ͥ͊͐̎ͥ҉͉̤́む̴ͯ͆̀̍ͫͮ͆҉̠͓̠̦͍む̽̋͝҉̤͙̬͘夢̧̱̪͛ͯͯ̉͠魔̪͕̟̘̰̹̬̄̎͗̽ͭ͗ͣ́͠͠釜̢̻̝ͥͣͬ̆̑̀̚釜̹͓̳̞̪̖̺̭̜́ͤ̔̉̂ͩ͊ͣ͟彼̢̮̩͍̫̗͔̥̙̒̀̊方̨͔̫̳̯ͮ̂̅̋̉ͫ̅̑ͨ͝ͅや͗̊͗ͨͯ͏̝̪͚あ̥̳͇̤̭̥ͬ̕͢や̺͕̩̟̠ͦ̀̉ͭͯͅあ͛ͩ̍̒͗͡͏͍̪̪̼͇̖̝̰̗な̷̜͚̺̝̝ͯ̌̑̾̍ͬ̆̓̚あ̯͙͙̀̅寝͚̖̱͔̳̥̭̱͖ͣ̿̿̓ͩ̽̅̈́͘た͒̕҉̘腹̧̩̖̣̗͚̜̤̂̂ͮ͂̂̽́奈͚̭̰̳̟́͑̍͊̈ͮ̉ͤ良̸ͦ̓ͬ͂̅̒̚҉̝̤̖̝̮͓̰ͅや̨̢̲͇̺͙̼̞̈́͋ͮͣ̒̋花̴̗͕͕̩͕͇̖͈̇̂̿͂̀͆ͬͣ͠秘̢̗̼̬͕ͣ̀̋ͬ͑話͎̼͍̖̳͍͒̂͘は̮̉̆ͧ͆̓̄̓̎͠輪̹͖̞̪̬̓ͤ͌̒͋͌̉ͬ̂͟は̣̹͌̉ͦ̇罠̛̝̲͕̖͍̺̺ͬͮや͊͒͌̊̾ͮͧ҉̶̫̥̘̦穴̢̦̙͍͖͍̰̣̊ͤͪ̐̕͟絵̶̨͔͍͎͆̽ͦ̅͌͌͞か̵̙̞͈̭̽ͬ͆͊ͬ̇ͬ́て͙̘̭͉͋̽̔ͮ̓̍ͩ̒ͫ̕な̯ͣ̋̓͡あ̵̜̖ͧͨ͊ͯ̕ͅや̢̻̻͍̤̯̉あ̧̳̲̲̯̬͚̘̊̄ͯ͘͘ε͙̲̩̱͈͓ͨ̄̀̄͘≠̛̲̜͌́ͪ͌ε͉̤̜̮̺̂̽͊ͅ=̱̤͍̣̟̹̟͋̾̆̄̾̅̓͠ε̹̩̖̝̜̬͉̫͉ͧ̊̋ͩ̋ͧ=̡̢̣̫ͥͫε̴̵̳͖͖̤͎̦͙͐ͮͦ̎ͯ́=͙͚̰̟̝̹ͭͥ͝ε̸̦̗͎̬̻̅ͫͬͬ̔͂̏̑̀̀͘=̫ͫͫ̚̚ε̷̤͈͖͂͆ͧ̓͌̈̄ͫ̑͠=̝̘̞͓̟̺̝̠͆͊̍┌͕̦̣͆̽̂̇ͭ͆̀͢͡(̛̗̣̬̈́̈͌̊̏̐̆͂;ͥ̈ͮ̓̓ͮ̀͏̨͉̼̤̤￣͕̺̩̣̮ͯ͐ͥͬ◇̞̥̩̯͖̻̓͒̽ͫ̑̀͟￣̨̳̝͓͓̃̾ͨ)̶̧̫̪͛̔́͘┘͓̻̖͉͔̤̮ͩ̂ͭ̾ͭε̴̺̫̣͚̹̥̆̈͂̅͢͢=͓̰̠̖̮̭͚̺̥ͬ̐̎͊̄͗ͮ͜ἑ͉͓̰̖̥̰ͫͪ͆̀≠͇̝̠̣̘̺̇̇͗̎ͮ̔ͨ͝ͅε͐̊̊͆҉̯̤̝̳=̷ͬ́̌ͥͯ͌͡҉̮̼̦ε̛̰͍͔͎̬̾͆̀=̑̄͆͋̎̄ͣͨ̋͏̭͖̦ε͓̯̭̯̞̙̮͕̊ͤ̌͌̊=̭͖͙̥̠̪̜̱̿̓̑ε̡̭̦̇͑̋̒̅ͭ=̮̹̰̘͙͌̔ͮ͛͒̃̾̍͜┌̨̢̺̭̏͗ͫ̃̊̆ͤ́(̻͔̗̮͗ͪ͞;̲̘̑̓͒͋̐̏ͦ́̌͘￣̷̗͔̖̋́͗͊ͧͤ̓◇̴̮̪͙̟̭̬̟͍̋̾̄̒ͤͯ́￣̨̮͍ͣ̄̾͜͡)̸̗̼̣͔͓̅┘̡̻͍̘̠͕͖̩̺͚ͭͪ͌̆́͜ὲ̨͎̤̆̀͜=̧ͭ̅͝͏̟̠̱̯̰̱̜̭ε̬̠͉͂̔͢=̨̜͚̰̹̫͍ͧ̾̑̎̈ε͖̯̏̔͗͊͜=̬͍̟̝̻̲̹͍̇̏͘͠ε̷͚̠̦̘̤̃̌ͮ̽̑̚͝=͙̙̩ͨε̨̿̈͏̪͔̲̖̞͔̟̰͓=̶̬͖̙͙̹͙̱ͧ͛̊̓̌ͯͮ̚ε͙̌̏̕=̶̶͓̩̠͈͋̄͑̏̌͒ͅ┌͉͈̫̲͐̀ͬ́͊(̷̜͖̪̪͋ͪ͛͢ͅ;̨̝̘̩̺̱̞͉̼͉̓̌͋ͫ￣̰̫̊͌͜͠◇̹͚̦͋ͪ́̚̕͞￣̑͛̑̍ͮ̍̏̚͏̸͈̼̥̕)̖̤̒ͮͩ̕┘̛̠ͤ̽̽͜C̺͍͑ͬ̿ͮ̐U̧̫͇̘̱̼̦̖͋̍͊ͥ̐N̝̯͙̗̭̳̝̑T̶̟̭̤̪̠͔͇̯͙͑̐̔̓̅

Brainfuck, if you put every character on its own line.

the people I've encountered that complain about cout's << syntax are only those who've never used a *nix machine, i.e. code monkeys

It sounds like OP wants Lisp.

>>1
>calling it the << and not the insertion operator

>>16
not calling it the 'whatever it's overloaded to' operator