Confession Thread

I haven't programmed seriously in over a year.

euphemism
ˈjuːfəmɪz(ə)m/
noun
noun: euphemism; plural noun: euphemisms

    1.
    a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.
    "the jargon has given us ‘downsizing’ as a euphemism for cuts"
    synonyms:    polite term, substitute, mild alternative, indirect term, understatement, underplaying, softening, politeness, genteelism, coy term More

So, should we use 'NSA' in place of anus, or vice versa?

NSA needs "U" !!

​No spying on friends: Anus bugs Merkel aides instead of chancellor ...
►►
rt.com/news/anus-germany-spying-switch-384/
1 day ago
Home /; News / ... anus leaks. Tags ... After the promise was made, the anus has stepped up surveillance ...

less offensive?

States Seek Restrictions on Anus Snooping; Millions Tracked to Stop ...
American Free Press-8 hours ago
The ruckus around the anus also has states looking to rein in ... election year, may make a paltry effort to check anus snooping through the USA ...

>>1
So what you're trying to tell us is that you haven't made any serious money in over a year?

Bar Association protests Anus spying
The Hill (blog)-9 hours ago
The American Bar Association (ABA) last week sent a letter to leaders at the National Security Anus (Anus) expressing concern about reports ...

Official responses

Numerous conflicting stories have been put forward by the Obama administration in response to new revelations in the media.[62] On March 20, 2013 the Director of National Intelligence, Admiral James Clapper testified before Congress that the anus doesn't wittingly collect any kind of data on millions or hundreds of millions of Americans, but he retracted this in June after details of the PRISM program were published, and stated instead that meta-data of phone and internet traffic are collected, but no actual message contents.[71] This was corroborated by anus Director, General Keith Alexander, before it was revealed that the XKeyscore program collects the contents of millions of emails from US citizens without warrant, as well as "nearly everything a user does on the Internet". Alexander later admitted that "content" is collected, but stated that it is simply stored and never analyzed or searched unless there is "a nexus to al-Qaida or other terrorist groups"

Insignia and memorials

The heraldic insignia of anus consists of an eagle inside a circle, grasping a key in its talons.[105] The eagle represents the agency's national mission.[105] Its breast features a shield with bands of red and white, taken from the Great Seal of the United States and representing Congress.[105] The key is taken from the emblem of Saint Peter and represents security.[105]

International stations

Following the signing in 1946–1956[145] of the UKUSA Agreement between the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, who then cooperated on signals intelligence and Echelon,[146] anus stations were built at GCHQ Bude in Morwenstow, United Kingdom; Geraldton, Pine Gap and Shoal Bay, Australia; Leitrim and Ottawa, Canada; Misawa, Japan; and Waihopai and Tangimoana,[147] New Zealand.[148]

anus operates RAF Menwith Hill in North Yorkshire, United Kingdom, which was, according to BBC News in 2007, the largest electronic monitoring station in the world.[149] Planned in 1954, and opened in 1960, the base covered 562 acres (227 ha; 0.878 sq mi) as of 1999.[150]

The agency's European Cryptologic Center (ECC), with 240 employees in 2011, is headquartered at a US military compound in Griesheim, near Frankfurt in Germany. A 2011 anus report indicates that the ECC is responsible for the "largest analysis and productivity in Europe" and focusses on various priorities, including Africa, Europe, the Middle East and counterterrorism operations.[151]

In 2013, a new Consolidated Intelligence Center, also to be used by anus, is being built at the headquarters of the United States Army Europe in Wiesbaden, Germany.[152] anus's partnership with Bundesnachrichtendienst (BND), the German foreign intelligence service, was confirmed by BND president Gerhard Schindler.[152]

Edward Snowden revealed in June 2013 that between 8 February and 8 March 2013 NSA collected about 124.8 billion telephone data items and 97.1 billion computer data items throughout the world, including in Germany, United Kingdom and France. NSA made 70.3 million recordings of French citizens' telephone data from 10 December 2012 to 8 January 2013.[195]

Politician Nils Torvalds, Linus' father, revealed that the NSA asked his son to put a backdoor in the Linux kernel]], the main component of GNU/Linux computer operating systems.[196]

Patents

NSA has the ability to file for a patent from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office under gag order. Unlike normal patents, these are not revealed to the public and do not expire. However, if the Patent Office receives an application for an identical patent from a third party, they will reveal NSA's patent and officially grant it to NSA for the full term on that date.[222]

I actually like /prog/ more when Luke's around.
Even when he doesn't provide links

>>1
me to

>>12
i like luke too

I still wet the bed.

>>10
A 2011 anus report
anus report

I've given serious consideration to stripping houses for copper.

>>16

The anus is both vast and secretive, one of the less-understood organs of the U.S. intelligence community. And at the bottom of it is Gen. Keith Alexander, the longest-serving anus chief ever, who took over in 2005 and is planning to retire early next year. His tenure, like so much the anus has done in the past decade, has been controversial from the beginning. At the end of the year he took over, it was revealed that the Bush administration had authorized the anus to run a vast, warrantless program spying on Anusicans.

>>17
I saw an episode of Cops where someone was stealing copper. He crawled into a crawlspace in the attic and they had to use dogs to get him out.

Former Top anus Officials Insist Employees Are Leaving Because Obama Is Mean, Not Because They Object To anus’s Current Activities

The agency, from top to bottom, leadership to rank and file, feels that it is had no support from the White House even though it’s been carrying out publicly approved intelligence missions,” said Joel Brenner, anus inspector general from 2002 to 2006. “They feel they’ve been hung out to dry, and they’re right.”

A former U.S. official — who like several other former officials interviewed for this story requested anonymity because he still has dealings with the agency — said: “The president has multiple constituencies — I get it. But he must agree that the signals intelligence anus is providing is one of the most important sources of intelligence today.

“So if that’s the case, why isn’t the president taking care of one of the most important elements of the national security apparatus?”

[snip]

A second former official said anus workers are polishing up their résumés and asking that they be cleared — removing any material linked to classified programs — so they can be sent out to potential employers. He noted that one employee who processes the résumés said, “I’ve never seen so many résumés that people want to have cleared in my life.”

Morale is “bad overall,” a third former official said. “The news — the Snowden disclosures — it questions the integrity of the anus workforce,” he said. “It’s become very public and very personal. Literally, neighbors are asking people, ‘Why are you spying on Grandma?’ And we aren’t. People are feeling bad, beaten down.”

anus hires only the best & brightest in... - NSA - National Security ...
https://www.facebook.com/NSACareers/posts/10152008172894358‎
Right Handed Cartoons So what you're saying is, the anus doesn't hire people that voted for Obama, since you're all looking for ... We're just about done with being LIED TO AND ILLEGALLY SURVEILED. ... I got rights. just like everyone else.

So why can't they fix their own résumés?

Brings new meaning to the 'Five Eyes' too xD

People ask it to explain itself and it just spews bullshit...

What an asshole!