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Alright, challenge for you /prog/...

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 5:10

Whoever can give a proper definition/explanation of a monad in the least amount of words wins.

Rules:
1. No metaphors. Monads are not burritos, end of story.
2. Where possible, use English words and not syntax
3. When syntax must be used, avoid Haskell and derivatives of Haskell.
4. Definition of monad must be complete, and not simple an example of a monad.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 5:12

A monad is a monoid endofunctor with a category of itself.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 5:15

>>2
Almost true.
A monad is like a burrito in that it's a monoid endofunctor with a category of itself.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 5:20

>>2
>>3

I probably should have also required you to use simple English words that your average programmer knows the meaning of.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 6:43

AN ``HMA'' IS MY ANUS IN THE CATEGORY OF HAXED THINGS

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 8:44

In functional programming, a monad is a structure that represents computations. A type with a monad structure defines what it means to chain operations, or nest functions of that type together. This allows the programmer to build pipelines that process data in steps, in which each action is decorated with additional processing rules provided by the monad.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 8:47

Why are you giving stupid limitations? You should use the language that best describes what you want.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 9:42

A monad is a functor T : C -> C with two operations (η : 1C -> T,μ : T2 -> T) for which the following conditions hold:

μ ○ Tμ = μ ○ μT
μ ○ Tη = μ ○ ηT = 1T

There you go, are you happy now?

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 9:57

>>8

Those operations are called natural transformations, their objects are functors and their arrows are mappings between those functors.
A functor has categories as objects and their arrows are mappings between those categories.
A category has objects as objects and mappings between those objects as arrows.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 10:36

Monad:a cludge to emulate Imperative languages like C++ which have excellent IO and iteration.
Without a Phd in type theory and extensive knowledge of GHC internals your code will be shit regardless of monads.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 10:42

A monad is like a chicken taco. Chicken figuratively, taco literally.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 10:46

>>1
do, <-, return, >>=, =<<, >>, etc.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 11:24

E=MC2

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 11:50

A monad is like a Unix pipe. Ignore the math kikes.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 12:00

>>14

JEWS!

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 22:44

>>7

Because Haskell is illegible.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 22:51

>>14

Actually that analogy makes about a billion times more sense than every other one I've heard. I know I said no metaphors, but fuck it, you win.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-12 22:53

>>14,15
ONO JOOOOOOOZZZZZZ!!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-13 0:09

>>17
that's a similie so he followed all the rules

Name: Cudder !MhMRSATORI!fR8duoqGZdD/iE5 2013-08-13 1:35

definition/explanation of a monad
Something useless that FP theorists came up with so they can pretend their language has some practical value.

Name: (。λ‿λ。) 2013-08-13 5:20

(。λ‿λ。) This is the new /g/entoo meme (。λ‿λ。)

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-13 12:59

>>20
definition/explanation of a pointer
Something useless that CPU arch theorists came up with so they can pretend their work has some practical value.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-13 23:32

definition/explanation of a tape
Something useless that brainfuck engineers came up with so they can pretend their work has some practical value.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-14 7:30

definition/explanation of a burrito

Something useless that Mexican cooks came up with so they can pretend their work has some practical value.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-14 7:33

>>19

It appears you are correct. I guess he wins.

>>20
>>22
>>23
>>24

You guys are going to keep doing this with my thread for about 50 posts until someone gets bored, then have it necro'd in 3 years just to have the cycle continue again, aren't you? This is exactly what you intend to do, am I correct?

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-14 7:38

>>25
No, I intend to tell you to optimize your quotes, cretin.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-14 7:38

>>22
definition/explanation of a variable
Something useless that assembler theorists came up with so they can pretend their work has some practical value.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-14 7:44

>>25
Heh, ``my thread''. I'd have said ``backplate getgoes'' for revealing this newness but you're more tolerable than some of the regulars here, and yes it will be necro'd, many, many times (and no I'm not among the other ones doing it).

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