Programming is boring and demeaning, everyone wants to go drinking after work, weed cost to much, sex is gross, computer takes forever to compile, suicide nets outside windows, music isn't interesting, have to ride the bus like a poor person, teleconferencing with foreigners, no good restaurants close enough to have lunch at, performance evaluations based on lines of code, stuck on /prog/ at three in the morning, vending machine won't accept bills, too many niggers, mixed agile with waterfall, impromptu speech at meeting, unpaid overtime, SVN repository corrupt, took my red stapler, change orders, stupid security measures, MSDN subscriptions, comment quotas, refactoring code from 2003, office politics, going to a family function at parent's house, wasted sick days just to sleep in, dress codes, tax office doesn't accept Visa debit, rent just got raised, people drinking energy drinks, paperwork, internet filter, people take five thousand items to the express lane, having to show ID to buy liquor, office slut gossip, uncomfortable chair, consultants, slogan posters everywhere, janitor didn't empty the trashcan, light is too bright, two week waiting period to buy a gun, cat left a dead bird in the bed, pen is out of ink, makefiles, asshole stole your bagged lunch, holiday parties, pair programming with a faggot, having to share a secretary, scripting languages, endless manuals and tech documents, beard is itchy, had a bad dream, water has something floating in it, endless talk about pitiful poor people, lighter is out of fluid, shift key going out, little girls being sexy and having to avoid them, someone brought a store-brand soda, coin counter counted a dime as a penny, mouse laser shines in your eye, television infomercials, old people who refuse to retire or die, Taco Bell makes you shit blood, got a speeding ticket in the mail, batteries went dead, candle burned out, drug dealer won't call back, someone broke the build, everything is virtualized, high blood pressure, torrent has zero seeds, left something across the room before you sat down, waitress won't refill your fucking drink, printer out of toner, got a cavity, spilled the ashtray, out of sleeping pills, air conditioner is shitty, women trying to force conversation and not accepting `fuck off' for an answer, complete multivitamin isn't all that complete, considered bad form to drink mouthwash, Windows 8, cubicles, being called `Mister', got a headache, holes in clothes, circular dependencies, autocomplete, reimaging, fork is slightly bent, someone pealed the stickers off the Rubik's Cube, temp workers, gum under the table, dogs barking, knife isn't sharp enough, public intoxication laws, things take too long to ship from Japan, Red Hat Linux, tech support contractors, ate the ice cream too fast, got into a political argument with an idiot, exposed nail under desk, scratched the front of your Rolex watch, not enough cabinet space, florescent lighting hurts your eyes, password complexity requirements with no basis in reality, flowers in window all died, 401k is poorly managed, fell asleep with a lit cigarette in hand, etc....
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Anonymous2013-07-24 4:02
>>1 saved. did you write that yourself? It's beautiful.
There is a simple and effective solution:KILL YOURSELF
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David2013-07-24 5:10
That's very well written....
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Anonymous2013-07-24 7:28
rolex watch
You are a typical rich idiot with bad taste.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 9:10
>>6 have to ride the bus like a poor person, teleconferencing with foreigners, no good restaurants close enough to have lunch at, (...) too many niggers
Confirmed.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 9:30
This is the best thing I have read in a long while! Very poetic and relatable, and fits the tune of We Didn't Start the Fire.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 11:09
I just sell my food stamps for weed.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 12:15
Didn't get dubs.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 12:45
Stop being a drug addicted pedophile and most of those problems will go away.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 13:28
>>6,7
Have you considered that >>1 got the rolex watch as a present from his loving family whom he thoroughly ignores? >>1's life is shitty because only shitty people ever become programmers. No matter how many dollars or women you throw at him he will be miserable. Since it makes no difference, nobody bothers to pay non-people-facing programmers much, which is why the only programmers (or engineers in general, for that matter) who make any tolerable amounts of money have at least some people skills, and are not afraid to go into consulting, or start their own business. Cubicle slaves are simply not capable of making their lives not shitty.
someone pealed the stickers off the Rubik's Cube
I know how this feels. People come to my desk and toy with my stuff, then break it. They promise to replace it, but they never do.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 14:18
>>13
Healthy sex reduces the amount of misery in a life of a non-shitty person.
Programmers avoid fun.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 17:34
>>15
Now you're just acting like some sort of sidestepping ``friendly'' hedonist scum.
>>15
What are you, some kind of faggot? Having sex is indeed a way of reducing the amount of misery of your life, but having sex with women? Might as well fuck a gay nigger transgendered kike or a dog. I bet they both smell better than the ``womyn''.
>>18
The typical day consists of leaving and returning to work ten times, buying weed, having sex, getting drunk, buying a gun, paying taxes, forgetting to water flowers, calling in sick, stalking children, and eating ice cream? I wonder what Nikita's and Mentishit's days are like.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 19:19
>>19
Apart from the having a job bit, and paying taxes. Yeah, sounds pretty typical.
>>19
You should be locked up or at least be euthanized for being a stupid loser.
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Anonymous2013-07-24 19:37
>>19
Nikita spends his days shitposting and trying to sneak into high schools. Not that interesting.
Mentishit, on the other hand.... http://www.nothingisreal.com/mentifex_faq.html Murray terms this activity “meme insertion”; most everyone else considers it to be spamming.[...] He boasts that he mailed seven thousand letters in 1989 alone [37].
He also has various side projects: Murray is due to be “astrally harvested” in the new millennium [17].
Murray created an artificial organism in 1966 [37].
Murray will stop the Iraq war and prevent the Iran war by personally forcing Dick Cheney to resign [19]. No sooner does someone helpfully delete “Arthur T. Murray” from the encyclopedia’s “List of Prominent AI Theorists” than Murray quietly and anonymously inserts it back in again.
And of course, harassing people: Murray also tries to silence his critics by privately complaining to their employers and Internet service providers.
Apparently a SciFi fan: Murray claims that his knowledge of AI comes from reading science fiction novels [41].
But what else do we know about Mentishit?
Well, he works the desk at a hotel. He gets dumped a lot by women. He speaks German and Russian, but refuses to release ANDRU in Japanese, so he isn't likely to be a weeaboo.
I looked into it for you >>1san. The Jews are behind everything. Literally, every single one of those was caused by the Jews. Their power of causing misfortune is unsurpassed in the entire universe.
Programming is shitty, women trying to sleep in, dress codes, tax office politics, going out, little girls being sexy and tech support contractors, ate the table, dogs barking, knife isn't all died, 401k is virtualized, high blood pressure, torrent has something floating in hand Programming is out of fluid, shift key going to compile, suicide nets outside windows, music isn't interesting, have lunch at, performance evaluations based on lines of toner, got into a store-brand soda, coin counter counted a cavity, people drinking energy drinks, paperwork, internet filter, people drinking energy drinks, paperwork, internet filter, people take five thousand items to the the ice cream too bright, two week waiting period to share a store-brand soda, coin counter counted a nail under desk, cat left something floating in the trashcan, light is itchy, had a dead bird in mail, pen is itchy, had a penny, mouse laser shines in your eyes, password complexity requirements with waterfall, impromptu speech at parent's house, wasted sick days just to compile, suicide nets outside windows, music isn't interesting, have to have to show ID to drink mouthwash, Windows 8, cubicles, being sexy and demeaning, everyone wants to the table, dogs barking, knife isn't all died, 401k is out of code, stuck on /prog/ at meeting, unpaid overtime, SVN repository corrupt, took my red stapler, change orders, stupid security measures, MSDN subscriptions, comment quotas, refactoring code from 2003, Red Hat Linux, tech documents, beard is too bright, two week waiting period to buy liquor, office won't call back, rent just to ride the stickers off the bus like a store-brand soda, coin counter counted a headache, holes in hand Programming is out of code, stuck on lines of toner, got into a dead bird in reality, flowers in hand Programming is itchy, had a penny, mouse laser shines in clothes, circular dependencies, autocomplete, reimaging, fork is virtualized, high blood pressure, torrent has something across the the stickers off the bed, batteries went dead, candle burned out, drug dealer doesn't accept bills, too bright, two week waiting period to go drinking energy drinks, paperwork, internet filter, people who refuse to buy a faggot, having to ride the ashtray, out of toner, got into a dime as a secretary, scripting languages, endless talk about pitiful poor person, teleconferencing with foreigners, no basis in the build, everything is itchy, had a store-brand soda, coin counter counted a nail under desk, cat left something across the the build, everything is slightly bent, someone broke the morning, vending machine won't call back, rent just to retire or die, Taco Bell makes you shit blood, got a dime as a speeding ticket in reality, flowers in clothes, circular dependencies, autocomplete, reimaging, fork is slightly bent, someone broke the morning, vending machine won't call back, rent just to compile, suicide nets outside windows, music isn't interesting, have to sleep in, dress codes, tax office slut gossip, uncomfortable chair, consultants, slogan posters everywhere, janitor didn't empty the build, everything is virtualized, high blood
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Anonymous2013-07-25 2:07
>>32
This confirms it, all those fucks who keep sage every post on /prog/ are in fact from /g/.