[Challenge] Rewrite ANDRU [trivial]

Help Mentifex solve the AI problem: rewrite ANDRU in your language of choice.

ANDRU is a chatbot, it should wait for the user to enter a string and reply with an English sentence. It doesn't need to make too much sense but should output grammatically valid sentences.

Your ANDRU should not need to be trained nor should he learn its vocabulary with user input (no Markov Chain).

You are allowed, on the other hand to scrape any data from Internet (website, forum, file, twitter, IRC ...). You may not use computer-generated data (don't pipe another chatbot).

Keep it short (10-20 LoC)

Bonus points for passing the Turing test with an average retard. Deadline: 24h.

Come look at the /b/tards talking to themselves

>>40
convo/93 is alright but it seems that ANDRU usually outsmarts your users.

convo/90:

You: nigger

ANDRU: oh, so you just think you are better than others and are little judgemental and opinionated? most people are, and that's fine as long as you don't pretend that the people you perceive as 'douchebags' are the coolest people in the world and don't kiss their asses

You: >implying i give a fuck

ANDRU: So, OK. Now what do you do here?

You: anal

ANDRU: >If you're wondering whether you're creepy or not, you're creepy. Probably because you're so nervous that you over think it.
brb killing self

You: an hero you fag

ANDRU: Agreed
>Dat porn
>Dat vidya

You: meth

ANDRU: isuse

>>>/soc/16706291

Bring your ass here, Mentifex, we made a better ANDRU for you and solved the AI problem!

Ukranian guy
Isn't Nikita from Ukrania?

>>45
From Urania. Right in between the West Great Buttain and the East Great Buttain.

>>45
He is from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serpukhov

>>47
And it's a baffling coincidence that Nikita lives in the only street pictured in this Wikipedia entry.

And it's exactly the kind of place where we would expect to find that bum: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Serpukhov_Sovietskaya_31.jpg

That guy who previously said he was from Chechnya is definitely lying.

>>44
You mean >Outsourced it to the /b/tards.

>>49
That's crowdsourcing tardsourcing.

How can I make ANDRU better? Should I strip arrow quotes and any references to 4chan or its boards?

>>48
That guy who previously said he was from Chechnya is definitely lying.
And you are the only Anon who tells truth?

>>51
You've not published your solution to the challenge.

>>53
http://101.174.152.78/

I've made it slightly more intelligent, as you can see here:
http://101.174.152.78/convo/269
http://101.174.152.78/convo/259
http://101.174.152.78/convo/260

But how can I make it better?

>>54
The source code, in the thread. That's the game.

>>55
http://www.mediafire.com/download/2d8u93dblqkjc19/ANDRU.zip

>>56
It's a big webapp, I expected a small CGI script (10-20 LoC was the constraint). Nevermind.

There's many way to improve the fake intelligence. You could scrape a huge amount of posts and replies and link their words. E.g. If a post has the word `nigger' and replies have the word `faggot', you connect those words. Now if a ANDRU user say the word `nigger' you give him one of the `faggot' answer. It will look more or less connected, much like those Markov chain bots.

>>57
Yeah, sorry, I overlooked the LoC constraint

But thanks, I'll try your suggestion.

>>59
If you want some good tricks, try to find the NLP (Natural Language Processing) Coursera videos by Dan Jurafsky. You can scrape huge amounts of data too (Twitter, Yahoo questions, Reddit, IRC ...)

So... it just needs to be 10-20 lines of code and just needs to output a valid English sentence... am I to take it that it does not need to output something intelligent, and thus the human input does not in any sense matter?

>>61
it that it does not need to output something intelligent, and thus the human input does not in any sense matter?
Yes. Those are the correct specifications for an ANDRU.

>>62


while true
  gets
  puts "Hi, I'm Tom!"
end

>>63
That would be a meaningful regression over ANDRU.

I've just invented a unsupervised learning AI in Python!


while Response.is(Shit):
  Response = make(Response, LessShit.than(Response))
print(Response)



AI is solved!

I've now got a permanent URL for ANDRU

http://andru.crabdance.com/